theredphoenixapl.org

Pizza.

​Last night in Mesa may have been the most dangerous time in the history of pizza.

Shortly after 8 p.m. yesterday, two pizza delivery drivers -- working for different companies -- crashed into each other head-on, killing one of the drivers, a 53-year-old man.

About an hour later, police say another pizza man said he was making a "large pizza delivery" when a man claiming to have a gun tried to rob him of his money and pizza.

Mesa police Detective Steve Berry tells New Times the head-on crash happened at the intersection of Baseline and Extension, involving a Toyota pickup truck being driving by the 53-year-old man, and a Kia Sedona being driven by a 49-year-old man.

Both were delivering pizzas at the time, and the crash occurred when the 49-year-old man was making a left onto Extension.

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Christmas cards? Puppies? Arpaio's gettin' soft.

​To quote Clark W. Griswold, if we woke up tomorrow with our heads sewn to the carpet, we wouldn't be more surprised than we were when we got a Christmas note from America's self-proclaimed "toughest sheriff" applauding us for all the great work we do.

Granted, we just got it today, and it was sent to the wrong address (and is probably the same note he sent to every other media outlet in town), but still: Joe Arpaio sent us a Christmas card.

For anyone unfamiliar with this publication's relationship with Arpaio, let's just say it's (ahem) strained -- for example, he had the owners of New Times dragged out of their houses in the middle night and thrown in jail. On the flip side, we've been exposing the filthy laundry of Maricopa County's corrupt top-cop for nearly 20 years.

Not to mention, we're currently suing him.

Truth be told, we gave Arpaio one of our Christmas cards in December (coincidentally on the same day the Department of Justice released its report claiming that Arpaio's on the hook for having the worst racial-profiling practices in U.S. history).

The sheriff told us he liked the card because his face was "in the middle...where it should be."

See our card -- and the sheriff's note -- below.


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​The wordsmiths over at New American Heritage Dictionary usually point out when a word or phrase is offensive or disparaging, particularly when it comes to terms loaded with racist sentiments.

You know them: the n-word, "spic," "white trash."

When you look up those words you get a little extra -- and useful -- information. It makes it clear that the word is unfriendly, to say the least. For instance:

spic [spik]
noun Slang: Disparaging and Offensive
a Spanish-American person.

white trash
noun Slang: Disparaging and Offensive
1. a member of the class of poor whites, especially in the southern U.S.

But the almighty definers at American Heritage don't seem to grasp the volatile nature of the term "anchor baby," a disparaging remark that aims to dehumanize the U.S.-born children of undocumented immigrants.
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www.craigslist.com

​The skull of a human child that, until yesterday, was for sale on Craigslist has been turned over to authorities, Phoenix police confirm to New Times.

Phoenix Sergeant Trent Crump told New Times yesterday that there is nothing illegal about possessing a human skull "unless you kill the person to get it."

A further description of the legality of possessing human remains can be found in our post from yesterday, which you can see here.

Crump says the owner of the skull, north Phoenix resident Mike Hale, voluntarily turned the remains over to police after word spread that he was in possession of a human skull.

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www.craigslist.com

​If you're in need of the skull of a human child, you're in luck; one is currently for sale on Craigslist.

According to the Craigslist post, the skull is "missin' most teeth," and likely is that of a 12 to 14-year-old child.
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MCSO

Jonathan Zed Martinez

​A Phoenix man allegedly broke into a woman's home early Saturday morning, took off his pants, and took a seat on the couch next to the woman's daughter, who's less than a year old.

When asked by the homeowner why he was in her house -- and sitting next to an infant -- with his junk out, 20-year-old Jonathan Zed Martinez told her "not to be afraid."

According to court documents obtained by New Times, just after midnight Saturday, Martinez broke into the woman's house through a rear window. He told her he'd just been in a fight and needed a place to hide out.

That's when things got weird.

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Mesa Police Department

Erik Grumpelt lived with his girlfriend's dead body on the floor of his apartment for more than two months.

​Erik Grumpelt's girlfriend admitted to him that she'd had sex with other men in his bed. He then kneed her in the lower abdomen several times as the two were in that very bed, apparently killing her.

That was more than months ago, and Grumpelt's been living with the decomposing body in his apartment ever since -- until his arrest yesterday morning, that is.

According to Mesa police, Grumpelt admitted to kneeing his girlfriend, 39-year-old Malinda Raya, in the abdomen three or four times on the morning of May 19 --  after she admitted to sleeping with other men in his bed.

Cops were only called on Monday -- more than two months after Raya's death.

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www.costumehub.com

The leg found on the roof of Uncle Bob's Storage has been baking in the sun for the last four days, so it's probably slightly worse for wear than the one pictured above.

​The case of the missing leg has been solved.

Mesa police say that the once-missing leg of a man who was killed during a hit-and-run accident early Sunday morning has been recovered -- on top of a roof 160 feet away from the point of impact. 

"We believe this is the result of the impact of the collision," Mesa police spokesman Ed Wessing tells New Times.

Early Sunday morning, about 2:30 a.m., cops were called to the 400 block of West Broadway Road after two men reportedly were hit by a car.

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www.costumehub.com

Missing

​A man is dead and his leg is now missing following a hit and run incident early yesterday morning.

According to the Mesa Police Department, cops were called to the 400 block of West Broadway Raod about 2:30 a.m. yesterday after two men reportedly were hit by a car.

The responding officers found the two 25-year-old men unresponsive in the street with life-threatening injuries.

They were taken to Scottsdale Osborne Hospital where one of them died -- his leg, however, never made it to the hospital and is now missing.

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According to the Phoenix Business Journal, the guy dressed like a super hero is one of the "best young leaders in Phoenix."

​The Phoenix Business Journal recently released its coveted "40 Under 40" list. To quote Clark W. Griswold, we could wake up tomorrow with our heads sewn to the carpet and we wouldn't be more surprised than we were when we saw the name of Arizona Republican Party Executive Director Brett Mecum on the list.

The PBJ bills the award as the "premier program honoring the best young leaders in the Phoenix metro market."

Anyone who recalls some of Mecum's antics over the past few years knows the only place he's likely to lead anyone is the police on a high-speed chase down the Loop 101.

Mecum got popped in 2009 for driving his blue 2008 Shelby GT 500 Ford Mustang 109 miles per hour down the Loop 101 at 12:30 in the morning. The posted speed limit is 65 m.p.h.

That's nothin' compared to some of the other less-than-reputable things for which one of Phoenix's "best young leaders" made headlines.More >>