Did Scottsdale Cops Really Have to Tackle Phoenix Open Pond Swimmer?

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This is a picture of 23-year-old Rigoberto Polanco getting tackled by Scottsdale police after swimming across a pond at the 18th hole of the TPC Scottsdale golf course on Sunday.
We were at the Phoenix Open on Sunday afternoon and watched as a drunk 23-year-old jumped into a pond on the 18th hole at the TPC Scottsdale golf course and swam across it -- just as tournament winner Kyle Stanley was about to tee off.

It was a bonehead move on the part of aquatic golf fan Rigoberto Polanco -- but that doesn't mean it wasn't hilarious, which it was.

We then watched Scottsdale police officers speed across the fairway in golf carts to apprehend Polanco. After helping him out of the water, one of the officers tackled the soaked Polanco to the ground for no apparent reason.

Scottsdale Officer Dave Pubins told us yesterday that Polanco was tackled because he "pulled away" from the officer. As we noted yesterday, we were about 150 yards away -- if Polanco "pulled away," we must have missed it.

See video of Polanco's swim after the jump.
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Phoenix Open Pond Swimmer Had .158 BAC; Body Slammed by Police Because He "Pulled Away," Cops Say *VIDEO*

Categories: Sports?
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This is a picture of 23-year-old Rigoberto Polanco swimming across a pond at the Phoenix Open yesterday -- right before he was body slammed by a Scottsdale police officer.
If you were at the 18th hole at TPC Scottsdale during the Phoenix Open yesterday afternoon, you may have seen 23-year-old Rigoberto Polanco dive into a pond, swim across, and then get tackled by Scottsdale police just before tournament winner Kyle Stanley teed off on 18.

We were about 150 yards away. It was hilarious.

Polanco, believe it or not, was wasted -- and now he's charged with a few petty crimes.

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Fiesta Bowl Fiasco: County Attorney Bill Montgomery to Announce Findings of Investigation Into Elected Officials

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Maricopa County Attorney Bill Montgomery is holding a press conference this morning to announce the findings of an eight-month investigation into elected officials who received gifts from the allegedly corrupt Fiesta Bowl organization.

It's unclear what Montgomery will announce -- the Arizona Republic reports he'll propose a plan to ban lawmakers from accepting gifts.

Regardless, here's what we know about former Fiesta Bowl CEO John Junker's allegedly using the organization's coffers as his personal ATM machine:

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Fiesta Bowl Scandal: Former COO Natalie Wisneski Indicted

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Natalie Wisneski, the former chief operating officer for the Fiesta Bowl, has been indicted in federal court on charges that she tried to cover up illegal campaign contributions by bowl employees, and that she filed false financial records, the U.S. Attorney's Office announced today.

Wisneski is the first person to be indicted since news of the Fiesta Bowl scandal broke in March.

According to the nine-count indictment, Wisneski solicited campaign contributions from Fiesta Bowl employees for various federal, state, and local political candidates. She then reimbursed the employees with Fiesta Bowl money.

Wisneski's also accused of filing false tax returns on behalf of the Fiesta Bowl when she denied that the organization had any lobbying or political expenditures.

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Gaylord Sports Management Accused of Using Porn Star to Lure Athletes; Same Agency Employed Guy Who Cops Say Tried to Arrange Threesome With 14-Year-Old

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Wikipedia
Porn star Bibi Jones claims a Valley sports agent used her to lure potential clients.
Gaylord Sports Management -- a Scottsdale-based talent agency for professional athletes -- has a little work to do on the PR front; in addition to once employing a guy who's currently accused of trying to have a threesome with two underage girls, a porn star is now claiming she was used by a different agent to lure in clients.

According to porn star Bibi Jones -- who's starred in such films as Naughty Nannies 3 and Amateur Action -- GSM agent Terry Bross would take her out to bars after Arizona Diamondbacks games so she could meet Major League Baseball players and lure them to GSM.

Jones says she bedded more than 10 guys while working in cahoots with Bross, a couple of whom, she says, later signed with the agent.

One of Bross' clients Jones claims to have slept with is Atlanta Braves second baseman Dan Uggla, who signed with GSM in 2010 -- three weeks after a road trip to Phoenix to play the Diamondbacks.

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Super Bowl Porn Hacker Frank Gonzalez Pleads Guilty to Computer Tampering

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This is the beginning of a 37-second porn clip thousands of viewers of the 2009 Super Bowl watched following a Larry Fitzgerald touchdown.
Frank Tanori Gonzalez, the Marana man who gave thousands of viewers of the 2009 Super Bowl a 37-second dose of porn, pleaded guilty in Pima County Superior Court this morning to two counts of computer tampering, the Arizona Attorney General's Office confirms to New Times.

See the video of a guy's penis interrupting a Larry Fitzgerald touchdown here (careful, it's not even close to being safe for work).

Gonzalez, who was working for Cox Communications at the time of the Super Bowl porn incident, must pay a $1,000 fine and be placed on probation for three years, according to the terms of his plea agreement.

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Mythical Underage Super Bowl Hookers: Phoenix P.D. Won't Worry About the Mythical Invasion Until 2014

Categories: Hookers, Sports?
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www.quickmeme.com
Contrary to the rhetoric of the religious right, they're not at the Super Bowl.
The 2015 Super Bowl is coming to Phoenix, and if you believe the rhetoric from the self-righteous religious-advocacy groups, so are swarms of underage hookers looking to cash in on the testosterone surrounding the big game.

No matter whom you believe, the Phoenix Police Department will be ready for the mythical hookers -- but authorities aren't too concerned about it just yet.

"We'll worry about [droves of underage hookers looking to cash in on the Super Bowl] in 2014," Phoenix Sergeant Trent Crump tells New Times.

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Jason Dubin, Valley Sports Agent, Tried to Lure Teen Girls For Threesome

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MCSO
Valley sports agent Jason Dubin
For fictional sports agent Jerry Maguire, it was "show me the money!" For non-fictional Valley sports agent Jason Dubin, it's apparently more like show me the two underage girls willing to double-up on me for some oral sex.

Dubin got popped yesterday after police say he tried to lure two teenage girls for sex while chatting with them over the Internet. As is often the case, the two girls with whom Dubin thought he was chatting turned out to be cops.

According to court documents obtained by New Times, Dubin, a 31-year-old agent with the firm Athletic Advisory Group LLC, contacted a girl on Facebook named "Christie." "Christie" told Dubin she was 17. Dubin responded by telling her he was 31, and asking if that was "too old."

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Keith Carmickle, All-Star Game Idiot, to Raise Money for Memorial Fund of Texas Fan Who Fell to his Death

Categories: Sports?
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Believe it or not, Keith Carmickle's a class act.
As New Times reported last night, Keith Carmickle -- the Kingman numskull who nearly fell to a likely death while trying to catch a baseball at Monday night's MLB Home-Run Derby -- was whisked away to New York City to appear on Good Morning America this morning.

Carmickle, it appears, realizes he made a bonehead move by leaping for a stupid souvenir -- and he's trying to make up for it.

While risking his life for a baseball was stupid, the fact that he and his brother already had caught two during the Derby makes his decision even dumber.

Adding to the stupidity is the fact that it happened on the same day as the funeral of a Texas man who died after falling from the bleachers at a Rangers game as he tried to catch a ball thrown to him by outfielder Josh Hamilton.

Carmickle's got a solution to his stupidity: auction off the balls he caught and donate the money to a memorial fund set up for Shannon Stone, the man who died in Texas.

See video of Carmickle's GMA appearance below.

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Prince Fielder Bomb During Home-Run Derby Nearly Leads to Idiot Falling From Bleachers

Categories: Idiots, Sports?
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New York Daily News
Shannon Stone died Thursday after falling from the bleachers while trying to catch a ball at a Texas Rangers game. A Kingman man nearly suffered the same fate during last night's Home-Run Derby.
Yesterday was the memorial service for Shannon Stone, a Texas father who died last week after falling from the stands at a Texas Rangers game while trying to catch a ball thrown into the crowd.

Yesterday was also the Home-Run Derby portion of Major League Baseball's All-Star Game, and a Kingman man apparently didn't learn the tragic lesson all fans should have learned after watching Stone tumble off the bleachers.

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