Scottsdale Ponzi-Schemer Gets Jail Time for Stealing Cacti

Categories: Only in Arizona
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phonelosers.org
A Scottsdale man who once had a role in a $64 million Ponzi scheme will spend his weekends in jail for the next eight months for stealing cacti.

The U.S. Attorney's Office in Arizona says 46-year-old Kenneth Cobb stole eight saguaro cacti from federal land, which is one of the biggest no-nos in Arizona.

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Santa Cruz County Officials Refuse to Release $10K Impounded from Girlfriend During Investigation of Boyfriend's Suicide

Categories: Only in Arizona

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Photo Credit: Leslie Lysy
Fred Carter and Leslie Lysy
Leslie Lysy tells New Times that the Santa Cruz Sheriff's Office is refusing to return about $10,000 it impounded along with the Yukon she and her boyfriend were traveling in when he shot himself in the head with a 9-millimeter Glock.

That was on April 10, 2011 -- a traumatic incident made worse with how cops have handled it, Lysy and her attorney say.

It's been one year and three months, and Lysy (pronounced lee-see) is still waiting for Santa Cruz County officials to give her back her money.

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Yuma City Employee Crushed by a 16-Foot Cactus

Categories: Only in Arizona
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Wikimedia
One of these babies.
A City of Yuma employee was crushed by a 16-foot saguaro cactus this week, according to city officials.

William Mason, a water-distribution technician with the city's utilities department, has been in the intensive-care unit at a hospital since Tuesday.

According to the city, Mason was checking out a water leak in the Del Oro Estates subdivision in Yuma when the gigantic cactus apparently fell over and pinned him to the ground.

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Karl "Jack" Frost Says Jogger in Bike Lane Shoved Him, and That He's Ex-Cop With CCW Permit and No Felony Record

Categories: Only in Arizona
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Karl "Jack" Frost says he was within his rights to try to effect a citizen's arrest on Wednesday of a jogger who he says had assaulted him.

Karl "Jack" Frost admits he tried to make a citizen's arrest of a man who was jogging in a bike lane, but that Gilbert police got most of the story wrong.

Frost, 47, says the main notion he wants to dispel is that he was in illegal possession of a .40-caliber Glock because of a supposed previous felony arrest. In fact, he says, he has a state-issued concealed-carry permit and also just became a U.S. citizen last year -- both of which would not be true if he was a convicted felon.


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Daily Show Makes Fool of Tucson Schools Official Over Ban of Ethnic Studies Classes

Categories: Only in Arizona
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In case you missed it, here's a jaw-dropping interview with Michael Hicks, a Tucson Unified School District governing board member, by Daily Show with Jon Stewart correspondent Al Madrigal about the school board's  Mexican-American studies ban.

Hicks advocated the ban and admits on The Daily Show that he never attended any ethnic-studies classes, instead forming his opinions from "hearsay.".

Hicks tells Madrigal, "I chose not to go to any of their classes. Why even go? Why even go? I based my thoughts on hearsay from others."

Why would a chosen leader in the educational community need facts?

The video of Madrigal's interview is on the next page:


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There's a Guy Named Johnny Bones, and He's Causing Drama in the City of Tombstone

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tombstone1880.net/johnnybones/
Johnny Bones, ladies and gentlemen.
There's a gentleman in Tombstone who goes by the name of Johnny Bones, and he's causing a ruckus.

Bones was arrested in February, and the American Civil Liberties Union now says Bones is being subjected to "malicious, unconstitutional" prosecution.

There's some real Wild West stuff going on here.

According to a report from the Tombstone Marshal's Office, Tombstone Councilmen Randall Davis and Jim Doherty came into the marshal's office asking what they were going to do about Bones -- who is known to the justice system as Ronald Koch.

The councilmen explained they've been getting complaints about Bones busking (street performing) for a few days, and violating some rules, including busking without a permit.

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Best Reader Caption For Arizona's Machine Gun Christmas: Ross

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Scottsdale Gun Club
"'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, we had offed every mouse. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Grabbing my Uzi, I took careful aim, what a rush, it was, to kill flying game. Die, Dasher! Die, Dancer! Die, Prancer and Vixen! Die, Comet! Die, Cupid! Bye bye, Donner and Blitzen! As I drew in my head, and was turning around, down the chimney some illegal came with a bound. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I shot him, in spite of myself! A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know that he soon would be dead. I heard him exclaim, while I watched him expire, 'but Arpaio assured me, you'd hold your fire!"
Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle Ross, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.

On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think would be an appropriate caption for the above photo of the Scottsdale Gun Club's Machine Gun Christmas.

We picked the five best reader captions and put it to a vote.

See all the entries here.

Ross stole the show with the following:

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Best Reader Caption For Photo of Arizona's Machine Gun Christmas?

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Scottsdale Gun Club
Your Caption Here
Last week, in honor of the Scottsdale Gun Club's celebrating the holidays by giving people the chance to have holiday photos taken of their children holding machine guns, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for an appropriate caption for the above photo for this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest.

We had 40 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.

We've narrowed it down to five finalists, but only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.

The finalists are as follows:

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Arizona's Machine Gun Christmas in You Write the Caption

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Scottsdale Gun Club
Your Caption Here
Nothing quite says "merry Christmas" like Santa and a few high-powered machine guns -- in Arizona, anyway.

In honor of the Scottsdale Gun Club's celebrating the holidays by giving people the chance to have holiday photos taken of their children holding machine guns, we've opted to go with the above photo of Arizona's machine gun Christmas for this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.

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Merry Christmas! From Your Toddler, Santa, and a Machine Gun

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Facebook
Umm...Merry Christmas?
Nothing says happy holidays (in Arizona, anyway) like Santa, your toddler, and a machine gun -- and you can celebrate the holidays by getting a picture of all three at the Scottsdale Gun Club next month.

According to the club, "Santa's back with his bag of goodies" -- which happens to include an arsenal of machine guns -- and on December 10, it will give families the opportunity to have their pictures taken with Santa and his guns.

Even children will be allowed to be photographed while holding the weapons, the club says.

Arizona doesn't exactly have the best reputation when it comes to firearms -- the Tucson shooting, the fact that guns are allowed in Arizona bars, and "Operation Fast and Furious" certainly haven't helped the state's image. So it only makes (gulp) sense to arm children with high-powered machine guns for family Christmas cards.

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