This is a picture of 23-year-old Rigoberto Polanco getting tackled by Scottsdale police after swimming across a pond at the 18th hole of the TPC Scottsdale golf course on Sunday.

​We were at the Phoenix Open on Sunday afternoon and watched as a drunk 23-year-old jumped into a pond on the 18th hole at the TPC Scottsdale golf course and swam across it -- just as tournament winner Kyle Stanley was about to tee off.

It was a bonehead move on the part of aquatic golf fan Rigoberto Polanco -- but that doesn't mean it wasn't hilarious, which it was.

We then watched Scottsdale police officers speed across the fairway in golf carts to apprehend Polanco. After helping him out of the water, one of the officers tackled the soaked Polanco to the ground for no apparent reason.

Scottsdale Officer Dave Pubins told us yesterday that Polanco was tackled because he "pulled away" from the officer. As we noted yesterday, we were about 150 yards away -- if Polanco "pulled away," we must have missed it.

See video of Polanco's swim after the jump.
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Pinal County Sheriff's Office

Your caption here.

​Last week, we asked readers to come up with their own caption for the above photo of Governor Jan Brewer sticking her finger in the face of Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu -- an image that's remarkably similar to a photo that went viral the previous week of Governor Glug-Glug sticking her finger in President Barack Obama's face.

Get the whole story here.

We had a fairly low turnout for this week's contest (only 29 responses, all of which you can see here), but we've narrowed it down to five finalists.

However, only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.

The finalists are as follows:

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New Times

This is Joe Arpaio's "grrrr" face (it's also the face he makes when you ask him about Mexican drug cartels infiltrating his office -- which is exactly what we asked him before snapping this photo).

​The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office admitted yesterday that it asked the Arizona Attorney General's Office to "contact" Scottsdale Lieutenant Mike Stauffer -- Sheriff Joe Arpaio's opponent in this year's election -- and ask him about "inside information" he received about the December death of Marty Atencio in one of Arpaio's jails.

The Sheriff's Office refuses to say it asked the AG's Office to "investigate" Stauffer, just "contact" him.

However, we got our hands on a voicemail the AG's Office left for Stauffer. In it, you can hear a "special agent" from the AG's office say it's an investigation...then that it's not an investigation...and then dance around the word "investigation."

You can listen to the voicemail here.

Additionally, Stauffer told us yesterday that the Maricopa County Attorney's Office contacted his higher-ups to tell them the agency would not longer prosecute cases he was involved with as a member of the Scottsdale Police Department -- a claim the County Attorney's Office says is "absolutely false."

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Matt Heinz wants to be a congressman.

​State Representative Matt Heinz announced Tuesday that he's running for the Congressional seat previously held by Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords.

Giffords, as you probably know, resigned from the seat last week so she can focus on her recovery after getting shot in the head during last year's shooting rampage in Tucson.

Heinz is in his second term in the Arizona Legislature. He's a doctor, he's openly gay, and seems like a pretty standup guy (when he was first elected, we had a chance to speak with him at length while we were working for another publication).

On the other hand, Heinz has only served two terms as a state legislator, and the only pieces of legislation he's sponsored that stick out in our memory are a bill that allows people in Arizona to buy booze at 6 a.m. on Sundays (not that we find anything wrong with that), and a bill that would allow members of the military to cancel memberships at health spas if they're deployed out of state.

Oh...we almost forgot -- he's also behind a 2009 resolution stating that the Arizona Legislature supports the people of Iran's right to "express their opinions and have access to news" regarding that country's presidential elections.

In other words, Matt Heinz thinks Iranians should have the freedom of speech -- take that, Ahmadinejad!

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MCSO

Deputy Bill Coleman, murdered father of four.

​Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio announced yesterday that two men have been arrested for allegedly breaking into the Anthem medical facility where MCSO Deputy Bill Coleman was murdered earlier this month by 30-year-old "UFO-ologist" Drew Ryan Maras, who was sleeping in the parking lot and likely has nothing to do with the burglary.

Get all the details here.

The only reason Coleman was in the parking lot of the medical facility -- and even came across Maras -- is because a security alarm went off after Michael Allen Pierce, 33, and Shawn Patrick Brannen, 23, allegedly broke into the building.

As Pierce and Brannen were allegedly committing a felony, Coleman was murdered while responding to the alarm.

Under Arizona law, if someone dies during the commission of a felony, the person(s) committing the felony can be charged with murder -- just ask "murderers" Matthew Peters, 21, and Joseph Metcalf, 19 (more on them below).

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www.janpac.com

Your caption here.

​

Last week, we asked our readers to come up with their own captions for the above photo of Governor Jan Brewer humiliating Arizona (yet again) for this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.

Brewer, as you know, stuck her finger in the face of President Barack Obama as the two argued on the tarmac at Phoenix-Mesa Gateway Airport in Mesa on Wednesday.

Get all the details here.

We had 120 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.

We've narrowed it down to five finalists, but only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.

The finalists are as follows:

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​The White House is downplaying the embarrassing scene that unfolded on the tarmac at Phoenix-Mesa Gateway Airport on Wednesday, when Governor Jan Brewer was photographed sticking her finger in the face of President Barack Obama as the two (according to Brewer, anyway) disagreed on Brewer's account of a past meeting the two had.

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney told reporters traveling with the president yesterday that the incident was "overblown."

"It's not a very big deal, at all," Carney says. "Some of this is political theater, to some degree, I guess."

He went on to say "I really assume you guys have more important issues to cover."

Maybe, but it's not everyday you see a sitting governor shake her finger in the face of the president of the United States.

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www.janpac.com

Jan Brewer's finger: complete lack of respect for the office of the United States president, or a great photo-op for a far-right-wing-nut politician?

​

Anyone with any respect for what the office of the president of the United States represents should take one look at the above photo of Governor Jan Brewer sticking her finger in the face of this country's commander in chief and say "who the f**k do you think you are, lady?"

Sadly, there are undoubtedly those who look at Brewer's finger to Obama's face as just another way that Governor Glug-Glug's stickin' it to the federal government -- something she so often brags about.

It could be argued that the governor simply lacks poise -- a position we absolutely will not argue.

However, pissin' off the feds is Jan's "thing" -- ever since she realized it translated into votes here in the "Colt Single-Action Revolver State."

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www.allvoices.com

​If you didn't get an O-boner from President Barack Obama's State of the Union speech last night, you probably didn't watch it.

Per usual, the president killed it -- the man's got a gift for gab.

Unfortunately, talking about doing things doesn't get things done.

For example: his comments on comprehensive immigration reform.

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​Arizona Congressman Trent Franks yesterday introduced a bill into Congress that would dictate when women in Washington D.C. are allowed to end a pregnancy.

The rest of the country's allowed to make its own rules, but thanks to the U.S. Constitution, Franks and his Congressional cronies have a say when it comes to the nation's Capitol.

Franks' bill, "The District of Columbia Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act," would ban abortions in D.C. of fetuses that are 20 weeks or older -- according to Franks, research shows that fetuses start feeling pain at 20 weeks.

See our post on Franks' bill here.

The Constitution may give Congress authority over Washington D.C., but we have a feeling abortion legislation wasn't what the founding fathers had in mind.

In this case, it seems Franks' authority over what goes on in the nation's Captiol is being used to draw attention to his bread-and-butter issue (when he's not screeching about how gay guys gettin' hitched is "literally a threat to our nation's survival," that is): abortion.

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