Liars

​Remember yesterday when the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office put out a press release saying how it used its "cell phone technology" to track down an inmate who escaped from an MCSO jail? Well, that was bullshit.

We spoke to U.S. Marshal for Arizona David Gonzales this morning, and he tells us the MCSO had absolutely nothing to do with tracking down the inmate, Jairo Contreras.

"We found and tracked that guy and pinpointed him in Santa Fe," Gonzales says. "[The MCSO] gave the indication that they arrested him, or they had something to do with it, which they didn't."

The MCSO didn't immediately respond to our request for comment.

While the MCSO had nothing to do with apprehending Contreras, it had everything to do with allowing him to escape (in an oversized laundry bin that was pushed out of the jail) -- but there was no press release about that, which Gonzales says is not good police procedure.

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According to Joe, his tough guy antics are causing illegal immigrants to avoid Maricopa County -- which is funny considering 10 were busted last night.

​Maricopa County's corrupt top cop, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, claims smugglers transporting drugs and illegal immigrants are avoiding Maricopa County to avoid run-ins with him.

That said, 10 illegal immigrants smuggled into the United States on their way to California and North Carolina, were arrested by the MCSO's Human Smuggling Unit in the North Valley last night -- and there in lies the irony/bold-face lie.

However, according to Arpaio, "intelligence sources" tell him the smugglers are choosing to use alternate routes through Arizona after crossing the border to avoid the sheriff and his tough-guy antics.

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John Huppenthal's claim that Tucson's ethnic-studies course is illegal probably was "not intended to be a factual statement."

​Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction John Huppenthal came to the conclusion earlier this week that the Tucson Unified School District's ethnic-studies course is illegal.

Huppenthal cited an audit of the course by the Cambium Learning Group as the basis for his claim.

He may have been under the impression that nobody was going to actually look at the audit, because it states that there is nothing illegal about the course.

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​A 14-year-old Pinal County boy told police someone tried to abduct him last month. The only problem with that is it never happened.

After telling his brave tale of escape to authorities about three weeks ago, the Pinal County Sheriff's Office now says the boy's admitted to making the whole thing up.

Last month, the unidentified boy told police he was walking home from a friend's house near Charbray and Busa Roads in San Tan Valley, when a a man in a white cargo van pulled up next to him asking if he needed a ride.

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​The Mormon Church claims it never knew one of its members, 49-year-old Susan Brock, the somewhat-estranged wife of Maricopa County Supervisor Fulton Brock, was sexually abusing a teenage boy before her arrest..

This, according to court documents obtained by New Times, is a lie.

The church issued the following statement amid criticism that it knew of the relationship and didn't report it to police:

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Disclaimer: Jon Kyl's apology for lying about abortion statistics is "not intended to be a factual statement" -- or it is?

​Senator Jon Kyl issued a statement yesterday apologizing for his attempt to redefine lying by following a lie with the disclaimer that his statement was not "intended to be a factual statement."

The senator has been the butt of countless jokes by late-night talk show hosts, such as Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert -- as well as New Times readers.

In Kyl's statement, his D.C. press secretary, Ryan Patmintra, is thrown under the bus, and takes responsibility for the claim that Kyl inflating the amount of abortions performed by Planned Parenthood by about 87 percent was "not intended to be a factual statement."

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Jon Kyl is a card-carrying member of NAMBLA...#NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement .

​Senator Jon Kyl had some non-"factual statements" about Planned Parenthood that he spouted off on the floor of the U.S. Senate last week, notably that 90 percent of the services the federally funded organization provides are abortions -- which is a lie. As Politifact was quick to point out, only 3 percent of the services Planned Parenthood provides are "abortion related."

After he was called on his BS, Kyl's office issued a statement saying the senator's remark "was not intended to be a factual statement."

In response to Kyl's blatant lie -- and his ridiculous explanation -- Stephen Colbert began "tweeting" non-"factual statements about Kyl, which aren't libelous by Kyl's standard of "truthiness" because they are all followed with the hashtag "#NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement."


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www.time.com

Stephen Colbert invented "truthiness." Senator Jon Kyl redefined lying as a remark that's "not intended to be a factual statement." Colbert for Senate 2012.

​Stephen Colbert, the late-night dispenser of all things "truthiness," is continuing to wage war against Arizona Senator Jon Kyl over lies the senator told on the floor of the U.S. Senate last week, and his flabbergasting response after getting called on his BS.

To keep the heat on the lying fact-challenged U.S. senator, Colbert has decided "to celebrate Jon Kyl's groundbreaking excuseplanation last night by tweeting around the clock non-facts about him," which he's done 'round the clock and under the hashtag "#NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

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www.persephonemagazine.com

Disclaimer: whatever Senator Jon Kyl says is "not intended to be a factual statement."

​As the United States government creeped closer to shutting down on Friday because far-right-wing-nuts don't like abortion, Senator Jon Kyl took to the Senate floor to give a less-than-"factual statement" about the amount of abortions performed by Planned Parenthood, a federally funded organization that's been known to end a pregnancy or two.

"Everybody goes to clinics, to hospitals, to doctors, and so on. Some people go to Planned Parenthood. But you don't have to go to Planned Parenthood to get your cholesterol or your blood pressure checked. If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that's well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does," the senator crowed.

Nope.

As Politifact is quick to point out, only 3 percent of the services Planned Parenthood provides are "abortion related."

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www.legaljuice.com

​We regret to inform you that we nearly let Governor Jan Brewer get away with one.

Since our earlier post about the governor's vacation to Alaska, which she claims is her "first vacation in over two years as Governor," we were reminded of a story we published last May. That story, contrary to the governor's claims in Twitter-town this week, was also about Brewer's "first vacation" since becoming governor.

See that story here.

In other words, Jan's lyin'.

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