10 Arizona "Dumb Laws" That Are Complete Horse S**t

Categories: Liar!, List This
Robert Huffstutter via Flickr

Did you know it's against the law in Arizona to have sexual relations with a rodeo clown in an elevator on Tuesdays?

No? That's probably because that "dumb law," like nearly every "dumb law" you've ever heard about Arizona, is complete horse shit. Check out 10 such laws that are attributed to Arizona's law books, which may have existed at some point long, long ago, but certainly aren't laws right now:

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DREAMers Rape Kids and Old People, According to Local Bigot

Categories: Liar!, Racism
Mike Schinkel via Flickr

Stand With Arizona, one of the largest anti-"amnesty" organizations in existence, gives its followers three talking points to use today as Senators John McCain and Jeff Flake are in Mesa touting immigration reform.

One: McCain and Flake abandoned border security. Two: The Senators should stand with Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Three: Tell the media that thousands of American children and elderly people are raped and murdered by DREAMers.

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Jennifer Dempsey, Alleged Age/Pregnancy/Cancer Faker, Pleads Not Guilty

Categories: Liar!
Phoenix PD
Jennifer Dempsey
Jennifer Dempsey, the 35-year-old Phoenix woman accused of lying about her age to teenage boys she had sex with, lying about being pregnant, and lying about having cancer, pleaded not guilty to her charges this morning.

The actual charges she's facing are related to Dempsey's meeting a pair of teenage boys -- ages 14 and 16 -- on Facebook and having sex with them, according to Phoenix police.

See also:
-Jennifer Dempsey's Accused of Lying About Her Age...and Being Pregnant...and Having Cancer

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Jennifer Dempsey's Accused of Lying About Her Age...and Being Pregnant...and Having Cancer

Categories: Liar!
Jennifer Dempsey
If you know the woman in the picture to the right, Jennifer Dempsey, we have news for you -- no, you probably do not know her.

According to Phoenix police, Dempsey, 35, lied about her age to teenage boys she had sex with, then lied about being pregnant, and for the past five years, she's been lying about having cancer.

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Joe Arpaio and MCSO Had Literally Nothing to Do With Arrest of Escaped Jail Inmate Jairo Contreras

Remember yesterday when the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office put out a press release saying how it used its "cell phone technology" to track down an inmate who escaped from an MCSO jail? Well, that was bullshit.

We spoke to U.S. Marshal for Arizona David Gonzales this morning, and he tells us the MCSO had absolutely nothing to do with tracking down the inmate, Jairo Contreras.

"We found and tracked that guy and pinpointed him in Santa Fe," Gonzales says. "[The MCSO] gave the indication that they arrested him, or they had something to do with it, which they didn't."

The MCSO didn't immediately respond to our request for comment.

While the MCSO had nothing to do with apprehending Contreras, it had everything to do with allowing him to escape (in an oversized laundry bin that was pushed out of the jail) -- but there was no press release about that, which Gonzales says is not good police procedure.

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Joe Arpaio: Illegal Immigrants Avoiding Maricopa County -- Except for the 10 Arrested Last Night in North Valley

According to Joe, his tough guy antics are causing illegal immigrants to avoid Maricopa County -- which is funny considering 10 were busted last night.
Maricopa County's corrupt top cop, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, claims smugglers transporting drugs and illegal immigrants are avoiding Maricopa County to avoid run-ins with him.

That said, 10 illegal immigrants smuggled into the United States on their way to California and North Carolina, were arrested by the MCSO's Human Smuggling Unit in the North Valley last night -- and there in lies the irony/bold-face lie.

However, according to Arpaio, "intelligence sources" tell him the smugglers are choosing to use alternate routes through Arizona after crossing the border to avoid the sheriff and his tough-guy antics.

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Morning Poll -- Ethnic Studies: Is Arizona Schools Superintendent John Huppenthal a Liar?

John Huppenthal's claim that Tucson's ethnic-studies course is illegal probably was "not intended to be a factual statement."
Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction John Huppenthal came to the conclusion earlier this week that the Tucson Unified School District's ethnic-studies course is illegal.

Huppenthal cited an audit of the course by the Cambium Learning Group as the basis for his claim.

He may have been under the impression that nobody was going to actually look at the audit, because it states that there is nothing illegal about the course.

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Boy, 14, Tells Cops He Was Nearly Abducted -- Which He Wasn't

Categories: Liar!
A 14-year-old Pinal County boy told police someone tried to abduct him last month. The only problem with that is it never happened.

After telling his brave tale of escape to authorities about three weeks ago, the Pinal County Sheriff's Office now says the boy's admitted to making the whole thing up.

Last month, the unidentified boy told police he was walking home from a friend's house near Charbray and Busa Roads in San Tan Valley, when a a man in a white cargo van pulled up next to him asking if he needed a ride.

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Mormon Church Denies Prior Knowledge of Susan Brock Affair With Teen Boy, Which is a Lie

The Mormon Church claims it never knew one of its members, 49-year-old Susan Brock, the somewhat-estranged wife of Maricopa County Supervisor Fulton Brock, was sexually abusing a teenage boy before her arrest..

This, according to court documents obtained by New Times, is a lie.

The church issued the following statement amid criticism that it knew of the relationship and didn't report it to police:

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Morning Poll: Is Senator Jon Kyl's Excuse Over "Factual Statements" Satisfactory?

Disclaimer: Jon Kyl's apology for lying about abortion statistics is "not intended to be a factual statement" -- or it is?
Senator Jon Kyl issued a statement yesterday apologizing for his attempt to redefine lying by following a lie with the disclaimer that his statement was not "intended to be a factual statement."

The senator has been the butt of countless jokes by late-night talk show hosts, such as Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert -- as well as New Times readers.

In Kyl's statement, his D.C. press secretary, Ryan Patmintra, is thrown under the bus, and takes responsibility for the claim that Kyl inflating the amount of abortions performed by Planned Parenthood by about 87 percent was "not intended to be a factual statement."

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