No one said it was easy to fight The Man. But in the latest skirmish in its battle to stop corporate welfare in Arizona, at the least the Goldwater Institute doesn't have to go it alone.

Last year, I told you about the libertarian think-tank's bold play to stop corporate welfare in Arizona -- a lawsuit challenging the city of Phoenix's $97 million subsidy of an upscale shopping center. The Goldwater peeps hoped to use the case to show that such subsidies violate Arizona's constitution.

Sadly, though, the city has refused to be thwarted: It hired private attorneys to fight for the right to give away our tax money. Thanks, guys! And, not surprisingly, in the process of winning summary judgment in the case, the good lawyers over at Fennemore Craig rang up a $306,942 bill. That's for a case that took just eight months, start to finish.

Now the city's demanding that the judge order the Goldwater Institute to pay its legal bills.

And it gets worse.

Think about it: Metallica covers on trombone? That's a bit depressing, isn't it? How about oboe? Interesting, but not quite right. Metallica covers on a theremin? Creepy.

Celebrate them for their Metallica covers. Celebrate them for their original songs. Celebrate that they're playing tonight at The Marquee starting at 6:30 p.m. Just don't forget to celebrate their decision to do all of this on cello.

Yeah, yeah, I know... We at New Times already have confessed to more than a shade of Green Fatigue (see our 10 zillion word analysis of overly trendy environmentalism here.)

But we have to admit, we still plan to watch tonight's Wife Swap, which pairs an "eco-friendly wife from Arizona who dreams of living in an environmentally friendly straw bale home" with a family of motorcycle stuntriders. Number one, we need to find out what a "straw bale home" is. (Anyone? Anyone?) Number two, we're suckers for a good fight -- and this episode surely contains a doozy.

As expected, Sheriff Joe Arpaio threw a tantrum when he found out Governor Janet Napolitano was cutting his allowance.

After first reading of the cuts to his immigration enforcement efforts in New Times, Arpaio held an impassioned, late-afternoon news conference on Tuesday to protest the governor's move with his political buddies, Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas, Arizona House Speaker Jim Weiers and Mesa state Representative Russell Pearce.

The story of two powerful Arizona politicans battling over the hot-button immigration issue has now made headlines from here to New York City. You can watch raw video of the news conference on KTVK Channel 3's Web site.

Typical of his bluster, Arpaio lashed out at the governor and her political allies, vowing he'd find funds to replace the $1.6 million getting taken away, and that nothing would keep him from targeting illegal immigrants his way.

"One thing you don't do is try to take away my money," Arpaio spewed. "I still have a gun and a badge."

DPS Director Roger Vanderpool

The fight is over a piece of the $10-million-per-year pie set aside by state lawmakers last year for immigration enforcement. The Arizona Department of Public Safety is the prime beneficiary of the funding, but the Sheriff's Office qualified for some, too, because it has a special agreement with the federal government. The agreement, known by its federal handle as a 287G, allows Arpaio to cross-train 160 of his deputies in immigration work with the U.S. Bureau of Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

By last October, Arpaio's office obtained about $1.5 million of the state funds for his anti-illegal-immigrant programs, which had garnered national attention for their aggressiveness. As documented in numerous articles and in electronic media, Arpaio teamed up with Thomas to prosecute average illegal immigrants as smugglers, and deputies rounded up corn vendors and other run-of-the-mill illegals who happened to be driving dilapidated vehicles.

Arpaio then got Representative Pearce to help him squeeze more money out of the state; his allocation for the state's 2008 fiscal year was bumped up in October to $2.2 million. DPS Director Roger Vanderpool, at the time, sent a letter to Pearce noting that the DPS planned to have the whole $10 million spent by the end of fiscal year 2009, but had only been planning to give the MCSO $1.3 million a year. Vanderpool quips at the end of his letter that he hope his opposition to MCSO's request for more money isn't "held against DPS."

By Paul Rubin

One of the NBA's most amazing plays happened 14 years ago this week, when Phoenix Suns point guard Kevin Johnson (all six-feet-one of him) executed a one-handed dunk over seven-footer Hakeem Olajuwon, the great and very intimidating center for the Houston Rockets. It happened in the second round of the playoffs. (The second round, by the way, sounds awfully good at the moment to Suns fans, some of whom have been reduced to watching the Spurs mount their current--and seemingly inevitable--comeback against the New Orleans Hornets.)

K.J. was one of the greatest Suns, a fiery competitor and fine playmaker who did some wonderous things on the court and was a key component during the team's 1993 run to the NBA Finals, where it unfortunately ran into the phenomenal Chicago Bulls and a fellow named Michael Jordan.

Off the court, Johnson was known for his philanthropic deeds and interest in community service, both here in Phoenix and in his native Sacramento. He founded the St. Hope Academy, a program to help disadvantaged kids, in his hometown. Then, he started a similar program in Phoenix, without the usual fanfare.

But in early 1997, New Times got a tip from someone about a young girl--she was 16 at the time--whose attorney was threatening to "go public" against Johnson with allegations of sexual improprieties. A letter that got into our hands suggested the attorney wanted $750,000 from the wealthy basketball star by a certain date to keep him from spilling the beans. Unfortunately for the prospective plaintiff, the story ruined the attorney's best-laid plans by revealing the inside details of the quirky case. The lawsuit never was filed.

To put it mildly, the Phoenix lawyer, Kent Turley, was none too pleased with publication of the story. He soon hung up on the writer (that would be me) when informed what was happening on the we're-going-to-be-writing-a-story front. On the other side, the Suns, K.J. and his "people" tried almost everything in their power to get the story killed before it hit the streets (11 years ago this week).

Lush Handmade Cosmetics Store on Saturday, May 10.

Get your fill of more perfection and click through our Lush slideshow.

Pulling off the nightlife is some tricky business. Even though you repeatedly hinder cell regeneration with booze and nicotine, you must remain eff-able. That means feigning youth, faking health, and masking bar odors. Without such strategies, it’s a fast road to the land of being a scary, washed-up clubber. You’ve seen her — the wretched, sloppy drunk lady at the end of the bar. She rudely reminds partygoers of their own mortality and spoils all the fun.

Motivated by such fears, we felt it was high time for us to buy some products to help hide our hedonistic ways. So we dared to emerge during the daytime for Lush’s Rave Party on Saturday, May 10. The shindig for the Scottsdale cosmetics store wasn’t the party we’re typically used to, but it smelled damn good, and there were some pretty wicked glow-stick bracelets. We loaded up on soaps and scents and then headed home for a disco nap.

Lush Handmade Cosmetics at Scottsdale Fashion Square, 7014 E. Camelback Rd., 480-946-5874, usa.lush.com

I understand that Myst's swim wear fashion show tonight will feature more beautiful ladies than I can shake an over-priced gin and tonic at.

I also understand that hosting the whole shebang is Misty Dawn, a former Playboy Cyber Girl of the week. The truth is Myst is simply trying too hard. I'm headed to Myst tonight for one thing and one thing only: infectious, never-ending bass beats (which judging by the Myst Web site will not be in short supply). After all, bikini-clad beauties and drink specials come and go, but the dance is eternal.

Feel the beat for yourself (ear plugs highly recommended) tonight at Myst starting at 11 p.m.

The frontrunner for the Republican nomination to replace Dubya is also older than this mountain.

Lately, election coverage has focused almost totally on Obama vs. Clinton. But at least one blogger out there wants you to remember there's another contender in the presidential race: the senior senator from Arizona. Emphasis on "senior."

Obviously, McCain's age is a cheap shot, and it probably has nothing to do with whether or not he'd make a good president. But the list of things he's older than is too funny to ignore.

According to the Web site Things Younger Than McCain the presumptive Republican presidential nominee is older than:

Spam, the Golden Gate Bridge, Scientology, Alaska (and Hawaii), Bugs Bunny, chocolate-chip cookies, Dick Cheney, both of Barak Obama's parents and, uh, the American Association of Retired People. Yes, he's older than AARP!

Much of the money for Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's immigration-enforcement efforts lately has poured out of a special pool of state money.

But New Times has learned that Governor Janet Napolitano's turning off the spigot.

In what appears to be a prelude to a major fight between Napolitano and Arpaio, the governor issued an executive order last week to develop a new task force--headed up by the state Department of Public Safety--to find and arrest tens of thousands of felons with outstanding warrants.

And, according to a letter from DPS Director Roger Vanderpool to Arpaio outlining the new effort, the task force will be funded with the money that Arpaio isn't getting anymore.

Last week my editor found this response to my story "Waterlogged" which ran as part of our Earth Day-inspired "Green Fatigue" series in April.

Though I personally expected a backlash from most members of the conservation community, surprisingly we got relatively little hate thrown our way after we gave eco-trendiness the finger.

Meredith Simonds, a blogger at Greenlight News, linked to above, is a strong conservationalist -- but she got it:

"Last month this cover caught my eye, and I knew I'd be blogging about it. Not because it pissed me off, but because I sympathized....Frankly, sometimes I get sick of myself."

A Wikipedia breakdown of Nebraska’s religious affiliations list Christians at 90 percent, other religions at 1 percent and atheism at 9 percent. Spend a few moments with Caryl Peters and you’ll know that those numbers are inaccurate. There may be other belief systems in place in Nebraska, but the primary religion is Cornhusker football.

Peters is a Cornhusker football fan, and make no mistake she’d probably bleed crimson and cream if it were possible. She graduated from the University of Nebraska with a masters in education and has been eating the corn ever since. Since 1996, she’s been at the epicenter of Nebraska culture in the Valley at Big Red of the Desert, her Cornhusker memorabilia shop located at 7066 East Indian School Road in Scottsdale.

So many things in such a small space.

Peters opened the shop at the suggestion of an associate athletic director for the Cornhuskers whom she had befriended. He had badgered with her unyielding enthusiasm for all things Cornhusker while she was working in the hotel industry and making reservations for the team.

“He said ‘cover yourself with red and then you’ll get your fix.’ And so that’s what I did,” she said.

Merchandise: How important is football to the state of Nebraska? Standing amidst a few jam-packed racks of Husker jerseys, Peters explains to me that she believes if the Cornhuskers had not gotten rid of former coach Bill Callahan “within a few years there would have been a noticeable economic depression in the state of Nebraska.” Callahan would have run the team into the ground and lost all the games, she says. People would stop coming out to see the game at bars and restaurants and they’d stop buying Husker merchandise.

Photo by Sherri Diteman

Pianist Thomas M. Lauderdale wants you to know that the lyrics in Pink Martini's songs are not to be picked apart. In fact, to do so you'd have to know several languages. The band's latest album Hey Eugene! features songs in Arabic, Japanese, Russian, Spanish and a few other languages, as well. So don't worry about what singer China Forbes is "saying" as she emits aural stimulus at the Scottsdale Civic Center Mall Amphitheater tonight. Instead, focus on what the music is communicating to you.

Pink Martini will play the Scottsdale Civic Center Mall Amphitheater tonight starting at 7:30.

For more on the band, see pinkmartini.com

New Times founder and executive editor Michael Lacey was honored over the weekend with the Arizona Press Club’s Distinguished Service Award. The lifetime accolade was given for Lacey’s 38 years as a writer, editor and newspaper owner in Arizona. It was one of 17 press club awards that New Times earned for its journalism in 2007.

Lacey and the New Times editorial staff were among about 240 journalists from across the state at the Heard Museum near downtown Phoenix on Saturday, May 10 for the annual press club awards banquet.

Along with New Times co-founder Jim Larkin, Lacey also won the John Kolbe Politics and Government Reporting Award for the story “Breathtaking Abuse of the Constitution.” Lacey and Larkin were jailed for several hours by Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's Selective Enforcement Unit after they detailed abusive grand jury subpoenas against New Times and its readers in the article.

Staff writer Ray Stern won the coveted Don Bolles Investigative Reporting Award for his story “What Happened In Vegas…,” an intensive look at the questionable dealings of a large national identify-theft-prevention company (headquartered in Phoenix) and the unsavory antics of its owner.

New Times founder and executive editor Michael Lacey accepts the Payne Award.

New Times was presented the Payne Award for Ethics in Journalism at ceremonies at the University of Oregon in Eugene.

The award goes to journalists who “encourage public trust in the media by courageously practicing the highest standards of the profession in the face of political or economic pressures.”

New Times won for its investigation of how Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio and County Attorney Andrew Thomas habitually abridge the constitutional rights of almost anyone who opposes them or their policies.

Gustavo Arellano of Ask a Mexican signed autographs and fielded questions from Marcos Najera at Changing Hands Bookstore on Friday.
One of the questions that came up was whether or not The Mexican has ever been stumped. Arellano says it's impossible, read more to find out if Marcos Najera is up to the task.

The Brickhouse opened its doors to three ultra-manly rock acts on May 9. Hogjaw started the show with a wave of southern rock akin to Nashville Pussy.

Jack Ripper
Next up was 11-year-old Jack Ripper who defended his rock prodigy title with ease. Jackyl front man Jesse James Dupree ended the night with songs including "Lumberjack" in which he plays an actual chain saw.