Arizona Teens Not Getting Knocked Up Like They Used to, According to Report

Categories: Damn Teenagers
16andpregnantcard.jpg
wikimedia.org
The worst part about teen pregnancy?
Arizona had the largest decrease of teenagers giving birth over the last few years than any other state, according to numbers released by the National Center for Health Statistics.

That's important, since teenagers have a higher risk of low birthweight, premature birth, babies dying in infancy, passing on high costs to the public, and starring on shitty MTV reality-television programming like "16 and Pregnant."

See also:
Health Department Notes Large Increase in Reported Abortions


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MCSO: Dysart High School Student Brought Gun to School, Threatened to Shoot Classmate

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The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office says deputies arrested a 16-year-old Dysart High School student who brought a gun to school yesterday.

According to MCSO, that kid apparently showed the gun to a 14-year-old classmate that morning at the school-bus stop, and said he was going to kill him.

See also:
-Joe Arpaio's Posse Doing a School-Shooting Simulation, and Steven Seagal's Supervising


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Joe Arpaio's High School "Murder/Suicide Plot" Suspect Released to Her Parents

Categories: Damn Teenagers
Photo by Matthew Hendley
Joe Arpaio explaining that a Mesa girl's plot "almost meets the profile of what happened in Connecticut."
The 16-year-old girl who had a plan that Sheriff Joe Arpaio declared "almost meets the profile of what happened in [Newtown], Connecticut" has been released from custody.

Maricopa County Superior Court spokesman Vincent Funari tells New Times that a judge ordered the girl to be released on an electronic-monitoring a program -- which both sides had agreed to, he says

See also:
-Joe Arpaio: Red Mountain High School Plot "Almost Meets the Profile of What Happened in Connecticut"
-MCSO: "Serious Murder/Suicide Plot" Uncovered at Mesa's Red Mountain High School

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Teenagers May Get Marijuana From People Who Have Marijuana, Local Media Discovers

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cechandmate.com
According to several Valley reporters, a new survey shows that some Arizona teenagers have obtained marijuana from people who can legally possess marijuana.

"No shit," say the rest of us.

See also:
-Medical Marijuana in Arizona a "Charade," and What's Wrong with That, Exactly?
-Arizona Organix Steps Out as the State's First Authorized Medical-Marijuana Dispensary

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Joe Arpaio: Red Mountain High School Plot "Almost Meets the Profile of What Happened in Connecticut"

Categories: Damn Teenagers
Photo by Matthew Hendley
Sheriff Joe Arpaio
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio claims his detectives may have prevented a "serious mass murder" similar to the one carried out at an elementary school last week in Newtown, Connecticut.

While referencing the Connecticut shooting several times, Arpaio explained yesterday morning 's arrest of a 16-year-old student at Red Mountain High School in Mesa, who's accused of making a threat on the Internet.

See also:
-MCSO: "Serious Murder/Suicide Plot" Uncovered at Mesa's Red Mountain High School


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MCSO: "Serious Murder/Suicide Plot" Uncovered at Mesa's Red Mountain High School

Categories: Damn Teenagers
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mpsaz.org
The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office claims it has ended a 16-year-old girl's "serious murder/suicide plot" at Mesa's Red Mountain High School.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio's heading up the press conference later today to answer questions, but according to information provided by MCSO, the girl posted threats on YouTube about killing herself "and some of her peers" at the high school.

See also:
-Glendale High School Student Showed Up to Class Imitating the "Joker"
-Kingman Teenager Posts on Facebook About Killing Little Kids at School
-Gilbert High Schooler's "Toy Rifle" Causes Lock-Down Hours After Massacre


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Glendale High School Student Showed Up to Class Imitating the "Joker"

Categories: Damn Teenagers
the-joker.jpg
fanpop.com
Heath Ledger as "the Joker."
A student at Glendale's Mountain Ridge High School probably scared the pants off just about everyone yesterday when he showed up to class trying to imitate the Joker, the character from the Dark Knight movie.

Despite reports stating otherwise, Deer Valley Unified School District spokeswoman Heidi Vega tells New Times that the student did not have makeup on his face, but he did have scratches from the corners of his mouth, running up his cheeks, like the Dark Knight villain.

See also:
-Kingman Teenager Posts on Facebook About Killing Little Kids at School
-Gilbert High Schooler's "Toy Rifle" Causes Lock-Down Hours After Massacre
-Greg Stanton, Police Chief Daniel Garcia Cautiously Assure Local Safety


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