10 Best Arizona DUIs

Categories: Booze

A DUI can happen to anyone who drinks and has a driver's license. And it's happened to a lot of our fellow Arizonans: 656 last Labor Day alone.

That doesn't stop us from digging stories about politicians, celebrities, pro athletes or other notables who found themselves wasted and in handcuffs on the side of a road. In the case of elected -- or wanna-be elected -- officials, at least, any accusation of a criminal offense needs to be scrutinized for signs of corruption or just plain bad judgment. It's also true we're afflicted with occasional bouts of schadenfreude.

Our news last week about Republican gubernatorial candidate Christine Jones got us wondering how many infamous Arizona DUIs we could think of. Governor Jan Brewer's near-arrest when she was a legislator back in the 1980s came to mind. So did a few others:

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Phoenix Police Catch Guy Who's Made "at Least" 36 Beer-Runs at Convenience Stores

Categories: Booze
sysop1021 via Flickr

Phoenix police have caught a guy who walked into a convenience store, grabbed some 30-packs of beer, and bailed out of there "at least 36 times."

Police say 43-year-old Felix Castillo sometimes grabbed as many as three 30-packs at a time, so this guy may have stolen more than 3,000 beers -- which means someone probably got really wasted.

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Arizona Diamondbacks Still Have the Cheapest Beer in Major League Baseball

There's no ballpark in Major League Baseball where you can get intoxicated for less money than at Phoenix's own Chase Field.

Fourteen ounces of beer at a Diamondbacks game is $4, which makes the Diamondbacks the cheap-beer champs, according to an annual report on baseball-game costs produced by a company called Team Marketing Report.

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Actor Jason London Took a Dump Inside a Scottsdale Cop Car, Said He's "Happy as Sh*t"

Scottsdale PD
Jason London
Actor Jason London best known -- and perhaps only known -- for his role as Randall 'Pink' Floyd in the movie Dazed and Confused, took a shit in a Scottsdale police car Sunday night.

According to a Scottsdale Police Department report, this was only after London sneezed in a man's face at the Martini Ranch bar, and after that guy got upset, London punched him in the face.

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Prison Wine-O Number Eight Shows Up Late to the Botulism Party

Categories: Booze
A man who looks like he belongs in prison, holding a bag of prison Bordeaux.
An eighth state prison inmate in Florence is receiving medical care for the suspected bad batch of prison wine some inmates consumed over the weekend.

Pinal County officials said seven inmates were hospitalized by noon Sunday with botulism, and it's believed that the homemade "pruno" is what did the inmates in.

See also:
-Bad Prison Wine Blamed for Landing Seven Inmates in Intensive Care

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Bad Prison Wine Blamed for Landing Seven Inmates in Intensive Care

Categories: Booze
Seven state prison inmates in Florence are in intensive care, probably because they tried to get wasted this weekend.

Of course, the prison doesn't bring in bottles of pinot grigio for the inmates, so Pinal County officials are thinking it was the homemade "pruno" that did the inmates in, and landed them in the hospital with botulism.

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Kristopher Harvey Decided to "Teach His Two Sons a Lesson" by Making Them Take Liquor Shots Until They Were "Screaming and Crying"

Categories: Bad Parents, Booze
If you drink Kristopher Harvey's alcohol, you may end up crying and screaming in your underwear.
Say what you will about unorthodox parenting techniques, but Surprise police officers think discipline shouldn't involve two "highly intoxicated" boys in their underwear crying, screaming, and vomiting.

Cops say that's the route Kristopher Harvey took on his boys Monday, and that earned him a trip to jail.

According to court documents obtained by New Times, Harvey, 32, was "just trying to teach his boys a lesson."

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Five Wives Vodka, Banned in Idaho, May Come to Arizona; In the Meantime, Feel Free to Pick Up Five Actual Wives

Ogden's Own Distillery, based in Utah, has been making some big news lately after one of its products -- Five Wives Vodka -- was banned from being sold in Idaho by the state's liquor division.

In a letter to the company's distributor in Idaho, the liquor board wrote that its members felt the concept "is offensive to a prominent segment of our population."

Ogden's Own Distillery believes the liquor board's talking about Mormons, even though another Utah company's "Polygamy Porter" can be sold in Idaho.

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Thomas O'Rourke Allegedly Slaughtered His Girlfriend's Cat and Threw It at Her, Which Came After Shooting Her Kid With a BB Gun

Thomas O'Rourke
By most standards, Thomas O'Rourke got a bit rowdy this weekend.

After consuming some alcoholic beverages at his Phoenix home Sunday evening, a kid ended up getting shot with a BB gun, a cat was killed, and that dead cat was thrown at a moving vehicle.

According to court documents obtained by New Times, police believe O'Rourke's responsible for all of it.

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Tempe Police Make 119 Alcohol-Related Arrests During ASU's Graduation Weekend

Categories: Booze
The results of a campaign to curb underage drinking and drunk driving during Arizona State University's commencement weekend are in, and the Tempe Police Department reports of 141 arrests over the course of the campaign.

Of the 141 arrests, 119 were alcohol-related.

"Our goal is to promote safe celebration practices," Central City Bureau Lieutenant James Peterson said before the campaign. "Graduation is the culmination of years of hard work, and we do not want to see a joyous occasion marred by tragedy. We hope that through a highly publicized and visible enforcement detail people will celebrate responsibly and lawfully. "

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