SINNERS, PSYCHOS, SKUNKS: Tom Horne Bites the Mat, and Republicans Offer Up a Baggage-Laden Doug Ducey for Governor
Doug Ducey, the GOP's seriously flawed pick for governor, declaring victory last week at the Hyatt in Downtown Phoenix
Of the many joys of primary day 2014, the top of my list and the most satisfying was Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne's delicious seven-point defeat by former state gaming director and fellow Republican Mark Brnovich.
The only thing I'd enjoy more would be watching Horne, outfitted in prison stripes, as he breaks rocks in the hot sun with one of those cartoony ball-and-chains tied to his legs and The Clash's version of "I Fought the Law" cranked up for background music.
Okay, this may be too much to ask Santa for. But with at least five active investigations into his myriad shenanigans by state, county, and federal agencies, I still might one day witness Horne and his co-conspirators getting led away in steel bracelets.
Until then, Horne's defeat by a guy whom he outspent 5-to-1 will have to suffice.
Even this achievement (the outspending part) merely was testament to the deep-purse love of the AG's rich sister, Christine Newman, who lent Horne $300,000 during this campaign cycle.
The rest of Horne's supporters collectively donated less than Newman's total, a pathetic haul for an incumbent AG..
Now a political Gollum, Horne admittedly once was useful to us all, back when he eked out a win over now-disbarred former County Attorney Andrew Thomas, a genuine right-wing fanatic, in the 2010 GOP primary for AG.
Four years ago, the skunk prevailed over the psycho by 899 votes, but then we had another problem: ridding ourselves of one stinky polecat.
I did my part during Horne's first year in office by writing about Horne's hiring his mistress Carmen Chenal to a $108,000 job as an assistant AG, for which she was not qualified.
Horne aided his political demise by ordering an internal investigation to cover up the scandal. But his handpicked investigator, Meg Hinchey, instead discovered evidence of campaign-finance skullduggery, which she dutifully turned over to the FBI.
What followed was the AG's FBI-witnessed vehicular hit-and-run en route to a love nest with his honey Chenal and, after many twists and turns, an order by Yavapai County Attorney Sheila Polk that Horne and his outreach director, Kathleen Winn, pay back almost $400,000 in illegal campaign contributions.