Top 10 Ways to Identify a Phoenix Native

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4.) They hate Los Angeles

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Sometimes they just hate L.A.'s sports teams. Sometimes they just hate the entire state of California. But every Phoenix native can instantly rattle off reasons why Phoenix is better than L.A.


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77 comments
Fuel Az
Fuel Az

hahaha number 10 and 1, totally true

tresgibson
tresgibson

What about seeing the Suns play at the Mad House on McDowell, that actually wasn't built for gun shows and the county fair! IDK, I'd put AZ girls as by far some of the best looking women... That don't try too hard. Ever been to Milwaukee? Talk about ugly. L.A. has beautiful people, but it's almost a fake when all they want to do is look like a doppelganger celebrity. I love my Valley of the Spun. Yeah, that is a major.drawback though, too many tweakers. Shit makes me sick.

goodguess
goodguess

no sugar iced tea, only cooks before noon in summer, feet so tough the july asphalt is no probem, Wallace and Ladmo, Encanto Park Bandshell

Linda Napikoski
Linda Napikoski

Fun, although I think it's not the natives at all who say it's a dry heat. Those of us from here never trot out that cliche; it's all the Midwest transplants who do. Also, we love L.A.! We marvel at people from back east who have never been to California or associate Florida with Disney.

lennygarbo
lennygarbo

#11: They've long since left, to escape the hordes of drooling, stupid Midwesterners.

lestermgee
lestermgee

I was surprised that calling the 51 squaw peak wasn't mentioned. But yeah, I don't even know the current name of the Glendale Arena, and the BOB will always be the BOB.

bimmr2002
bimmr2002

#8...seriously...there's Peugeot in the parking lot, that picture is from somewhere in Europe...You can't even get a picture of a local parking lot!? Haha, too damn funny

Dorothy Walsh
Dorothy Walsh

#4 is a liiiiieeeee. Los Angeles is what's happenin!

Gregory Barry
Gregory Barry

I'm not counting...maybe...but this is at least the fourth time I've seen this post from ya all. Come on man, post something else. Even one of those fuckin polls that tells you whether you're a true white unicorn or a false grape are better than repetition.

analogue
analogue

Top Ten Ways to Identify A Phoenix Native:


10: 80's hair style

9: Wears shorts to fine dining establishment

8:Obese

7:Missing teeth

6:Adults over 30 wearing T Shirts and Flip Flops not near any beaches

5:Women over 35 in shorts or mini skirt

4: If the only 24 hr restaurant you can name off the top of your head is only Denny's

3: if you live within 3 blocks of a Circle K store

2: If your favorite soda is Diet Coke- beer: Bud Light

and the number one PHX native ID is: ah who cares I ran out of material. Add your own.

Sean E. Dunn
Sean E. Dunn

I'm just bustin your balls. I do love this city though

Jordan Novoa
Jordan Novoa

There are reasons I'm here buddy. Just because I don't like it here doesn't mean my opinion is a reason to ditch my responsibilities. Thanks though for your input!

Sean E. Dunn
Sean E. Dunn

@Jordan Novoa, go back to Los Angeles then

Jordan Novoa
Jordan Novoa

How can you even compare Phoenix to LA? Phoenix sucks.

desertflower109
desertflower109

I know most of these and I'm not a native, but have lived here for 20 years. All of the name changes over the years is ridiculous.  I still call them the original names.

Leslie Billings
Leslie Billings

Shoot, not only have I shopped at Metrocenter, I lived on a farm on the other side of the freeway when it was being built! I remember when there was no America West Arena and no BOB, just the "Madhouse on McDowell"! And I agree with other posters, is NT so desperate for page clicks that they couldn't just put all those on one page??

Kenny Tibbs
Kenny Tibbs

You couldn't fit that on one page? C'mon.

tresgibson
tresgibson

But hey let's keep electing Sheriff Joe. We'll lock them up for petty crime, offer zero rehabilitation run by professionals. The only options for that you have is to go to a class ran by an inmate. Give me a break. Good for that one who wants to help, but lacking degrees it's hard to break down the science of addiction. That inmate can be an invaluable tool for a therapist teaching in the environment. But why do we as Phoenician's, continue to support cutting of K-12 spending every year and the only department who has steadily seen an increase in budget is DOC. Kind of a reactive thought process right? Then we wonder why our children are being molested by pedophile teachers? What type of person with 40k+ in student loan debt wants to take a job making 28k a year? Sure a good portion have noble intentions. It's just sick the dramatic rise in sexual abuse in school from teacher to student. Wake up Arizona! How many studies support after school activities keep kids off the streets, out of gangs and increase their self worth? It's time for a radical shift in our thinking. Why can't we be proactive in our education and why doesn't our budget reflect that? We should be ashamed we voted for these people. With the clause that blue hairs loves Joe ' s tough on crime stance. We need to offer treatment to the mentally ill, not prison . Rehabilitation for the addicts, and execution to any and all pedophiles. Sorry for the long rant. -end-

valleynative
valleynative topcommenter

@analogue 

I'll bet you wouldn't post an insulting list of characteristics for groups based on race or religion, so why do you think it's any less despicable to do so based on geographical origin?

You're a bigot.

 

liz.salazar84
liz.salazar84

@analogue Wow! So much hate! I am a phoenix native and zero of these apply to me. Troll elsewhere! Maybe in the midwest...

bimmr2002
bimmr2002

why exactly does Phoenix suck? Just curious...

triplegibforthewin
triplegibforthewin

@tresgibson so you're posting that long-winded off topic, paragraph-free bullshit is a sign of a phoenix native? okay, I can go with that. we'll add it to analogue's list.

bimmr2002
bimmr2002

@limeypoofters @bimmr2002 it didn't take much to realize that the picture wasn't Arizona, thank you limeypoofters for verifying that! Just shows how lazy some journalists are here!

yeehaw
yeehaw

@liz.salazar84 @analogue all of these apply to you. get over it, you've been accurately identified for the hillbillies that you are. the only thing missing from the list is your leathery skin with the deep, deep wrinkles, other than that, it's spot on.

bimmr2002
bimmr2002

@liz.salazar84 @analogue Liz you are correct, troll indeed, "analogue" has no freaking idea about us, words of advice...don't feed the trolls.

tresgibson
tresgibson

@triplegibforthewin

Lol, I do apologize for the rant. I did start out with pure intentions of mentioning the madhouse on McDowell. I tried to take down the second post, as to not put content in inappropriate forums. It's fair that your opinion of my points were bullshit, I do respect individuals opinions whether I agree with them or not. Sir or Madam, please don't let this ruin your day, nor let my inappropriate forum for this rant be a reflection of Phoenicians.

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