Phoenix Man Coughs Up Nearly $2,000 for a Dinner Date with Joe Arpaio and Steven Seagal

Categories: Bad Dates
arpaio-driving.jpg
MCSO


It turns out the worst way to get rid of $1,800 is not to light it on fire or flush it down the toilet.

According to a totally necessary press release from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office, a fellow named Jeff DeWitt won a charity auction to have dinner with Sheriff Joe Arpaio and actor Steven Seagal, for $1,800.

They'll be having their dinner date tonight at an Italian restaurant in a little strip mall next to a gas station in North Scottsdale.

dinner-date-arpaio2.jpg


According to the press release, it's a great time to discuss the couple's foundering television show as well as Seagal's completely fake gubernatorial campaign.

"There should be some interesting conversation tonight for Mr. DeWitt to participate in," Arpaio says in his press release. "Seagal and I are still talking about a potential run for the governor of Arizona and Seagal will undoubtedly talk about his current TV series, Lawman, the Lost Season."

To give you an idea of their celebrity worth -- although you can get dinner with Dumb and Dumber for less than $2,000 -- it cost someone $75,000 to have coffee with the former lead singer of Journey.

Send feedback and tips to the author.
Follow Matthew Hendley on Twitter at @MatthewHendley.



My Voice Nation Help
26 comments
DNichols
DNichols

I bet both Arpaio, and Segal enjoyed the food that was probably 90% grown by illegals?!

DNichols
DNichols

The Old Fart sitting in the Sheriffs car looks like he is "Half Past Dead".

Ralph Craig
Ralph Craig

No kidding. I am sure all he will do is talk about himself

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

I hope this guy take a shitload of Compazine before his three-way.

MaskedMagician1967
MaskedMagician1967 topcommenter

I thought for sure JAFfy would attend.

After all, he's the Arpaio-Seagal lover.

I would rather have invested that $1800...

Cozz
Cozz topcommenter

Sure hope that $1800.00 includes a barf-bag, because Jeff Dimwitt is going to need it if he swallows all the bullshit that comes out of Bozo Joe's mouth.

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

I heard that Jeff Dimwitt's family just filed for emergency power of Atty over his fianceses


I heard  his wife said "Last time Jeff wasted his money, he threw it on the ground, lit it on fire, and then tried to piss it out.  But he forgotten that he'd just peed himself and was 'empty'"

Dale Hall
Dale Hall

What an idiot, paying for a dinner date with two jackasses!

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

The real title:


"Jeff DimWitt flushes $2k down the toilet after spending 5 minutes with Arpaio and Seagal."  


He just couldn't hold back the vomit!

RandyX
RandyX

I know that restaurant. Great food. Great service.

Flyer9753
Flyer9753 topcommenter

ROFL.... well, now we know Jaffy/Roberts real last name


He's the only one stupid enough to pay for something like this

azweasel
azweasel

What a fucking joke. I wouldn't have dinner with those two shit stains even if they paid.

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

Isn't there a typo in the guy's name?  Shouldn't it be "Jeff DumbWitt"?  Or was it "Jeff NoWitt"!

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

Is Jaffy willing to pay that much for a three some?  Couldn't he just keep dating the goat and German Shepard?

Dontbelieveit
Dontbelieveit

Maricopa County aka Comedy Central!! Never a dull moment!!!!!!

danzigsdaddy
danzigsdaddy topcommenter

JAFfy will be sooooooooooooooo jealous. i sure hope Seagal is a better dinner companion than he is an actor

(it would be awesome if they went to Amy's baking company)

MaskedMagician1967
MaskedMagician1967 topcommenter

I wonder what they'll discuss....the old man and the has been 'actor' won't run for governor.

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

@azweasel I do wonder if the resultant will provide a pail for Jeff Dimwitt to vomit in!

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

Oh, it's Jaffy "Jeff DIMwitt!"

robert_graham
robert_graham

@WhoKnows How much would somebody pay for a dinner date with Matt Hendley or Stephen Lemons, if offered? Not even a dime of course!

Now Trending

Phoenix Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...