Top Ten MCSO Babysitters Sure to Make Joe Arpaio's Head Explode

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Now that we know Sheriff Joe Arpaio and the MCSO will be getting a babysitter appointed by federal Judge G. Murray Snow to drag them kicking and screaming into the 21st Century, the question is, who is the right man (or woman) for the job?

Actually, consent decrees and court-appointed monitors are so common these days that there are individuals and consulting firms that specialize in such work. The ACLU and the MCSO will be dickering over possible candidates in the next 60 days. And if they can't agree, they'll hand over their picks and let the judge decide.

After reading and re-reading his detailed, 59-page order in the racial-profiling lawsuit Melendres v. Arpaio, I trust Snow to choose the right person or persons to whip the MCSO into shape over the next three-plus years.

But this monitor thing has gotten me to thinking about who I'd like to see appointed, just for the sheer thrill of watching Joe's head spontaneously combust when he gets the news. You know, kinda like Fantasy Football for Arpaio critics.

So here are my top ten picks of monitors sure to make Joe's noggin' erupt like Mount Saint Helens.

sal-reza.jpg
Sal will be using his bullhorn to communicate as Joe's gotten hard of hearing...
10. Sal Reza: The sly, irrepressible civil rights activist has been protesting and marching against Arpaio's rule for years. Currently, he's suing Arpaio for wrongful arrest and imprisonment in 2010, when Arpaio's goon squad took him into custody for no reason. Reza as monitor? Arpaio's mug would turn 30 shades of red.

9. Gary Donahoe: In 2010, the Superior Court judge became a target for retribution by Arpaio and then County Attorney Andrew Thomas, who filed bogus felony charges against the jurist, charges later thrown out. The filing of those charges became one of many reasons for Thomas' disbarment. Donahoe later sued and scored a $1.25 million settlement. The last laugh would be for Donahoe to oversee Arpaio's compliance in Melendres.

8. Sheila Polk: The Yavapai County Attorney has a backbone of steel. She refused to go along with Arpaio and Thomas' shenanigans, and in a now-famous public letter, called the pair "a threat to the entire criminal justice system." She would keep Arpaio on a short leash and make him obey, that's for sure.


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35 comments
dennis20
dennis20 topcommenter

Judge Snow will make the decision and it will be someone in law enforcement. Now the community panel that Arpaio is also fretting about may get interesting.

PosersSuck
PosersSuck

Bill Bratton could turn any department around if he had a mind to, nobody here could afford him. Rick Romley is also an ideal choice, but too bad you had to continue kissing ass and sucking up to Sal Reza, Randy Parraz and Paul (Jethro Bodine) Penzone. Parraz is a bigger crook and a bigger camera whore than Arpaio, High School Graduate Paul Penzone couldn't be a Security Supervisor at a bicycle factory, let alone monitor something that takes Legal Savvy.

Camille Stodgell
Camille Stodgell

Leave Sheriff Joe Alone.....He is just doing his job....Unlike a lot of other people...

danzigsdaddy
danzigsdaddy topcommenter

as much as i think Joe needs to go, i think this should be taken much more seriously. we have pissed and moaned about Joe and his ineffective leadership of a major law enforcement agency, so we should be taking this as a chance to remedy our grievances with his leadership and policies. we should be looking for people who will be fair and unbiased, yet observant and analytical. we should be looking for people who will be observing and following the letter of the law, so when Joe does revert to his usual modus operandi...........they will be on top of it. this is our one chance to correct a problem that has gone on way too long. if the judge wants to have eyes in place to observe if Joe is not toeing the line, we should want him to have people who will report promptly and accurately on Joe's mistakes or on his improvements. I want the guy gone, so i want it done professionally and by the book.                                     (by the way...........Penzone and Wilcox being appointed would be the ones that make his head explode ..........................JAFfy's too)

Gina Zaquila
Gina Zaquila

The Joker's from "Next Friday" cuz he hates Mexicans & there Mean!

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

In all seriousness, David Gonzales, would be a GREAT pick.  The guy has a LONG history of being above reproach and respected.

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

I wonder if the former New Times owners would consider being monitors!!  They KNOW first hand, how MCSO arrests people in the middle of the night in black SUVs (with Mexican plates) for doing NO MORE than reporting the news!

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

I hope the Clown Sheriff keeps fighting this, as the next step is that the Feds will take MCSO into receivership, and Joke will then have nothing to do all day but count the number of times his Depends get changed.

Chuck Klee
Chuck Klee

Thanks for your opinion Warren..I'll be sure to make a note of that.

Warren Klofkorn
Warren Klofkorn

He's not worth the psychic energy required to hate something.

johnnygoldwater
johnnygoldwater

C'mon New Times. Maybe if you and other Valley Press stopped playing this cute game of controlled opposition, someone who has actually read the Constitution might have been elected sheriff, instead of Joe, by now. It's only been 20 years though right? The reaper will probably take this guy before anyone will beat him at the ballot box. Why? Because cutsie recalls and b.s. "Federal Investigations" are what you people think will relieve him of his duties. Get a friggin clue already. And step your game up, while you're at it.

I read endless snark here about Arpaio, but you fail to ever point out his connection to the drug trade out of Turkey while he was with the DEA in the 70s. Nope, instead it's nonsense like this article and your smarty pants little debate club inside a liberal echo chamber, which makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. Nevermind that it gets nothing accomplished.


Constitutionalists don't like Joe either, but at least we have real arrows to sling instead of your phony baloney "racist" and "bigot" namecalling, which flips exactly zero voters every cycle.

But if you're just here to make jokes and not really expose Joe for who he is, that's fine. He's nothing but a publicity hound and fear monger, but somehow you miss all of this and rely on the "R" word, which has basically lost all meaning thanks to MSLSD and other blowhardy cable news outlets.

Have fun with your snark-a-thon and see where it gets you.

Chuck Klee
Chuck Klee

What I always see from The New Times....What to do around the valley this weekend and We hate Joe Arpio. Haters gonna hate I guess.

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

Reza, Parraz and Romley would be my picks for the plaintiff's side. Of course, Joe will probably pick Henderschott (for deniability.) and Thomas and Aubuchon as the Toady Twins.

Flyer9753
Flyer9753 topcommenter

Penzone, Parraz and Wilcox should definitely be there.


MaskedMagician1967
MaskedMagician1967 topcommenter

I think Sheriff John Bunnell (from the show World's Wildest Police Videos) would be a good fit but I think an even better fit would be Eric Holder or Obama. That would be hilarious!

robert_graham
robert_graham

The perfect person for the job would be Rush Limbaugh.  Why does it not surprise me that all your picks are dumb asses who are anti-Arpaio.  Your choices would clearly be a conflict of interest.

Bnbk
Bnbk

@PosersSuck Still can't get over the fact that Randy is a much more effective organizer than you are,eh Dee Dee ?

IdontRecall
IdontRecall

@johngoldwater, and tell me "constitutionalist" how long did it take 4 u to post ur "comment", what real arrows have u slung and at what?, 'cause 2 me this post of yours is nothing more then pure malarkey...what r u accomplishing? Since u know so much about d JOKER, why don't u expose him.....hey everybody......the constitutionalist right here is going 2 expose Arpayaso by slinging one of his real arrows.......whats up dude, r u gong 2 do it, or r u  just flipping ur jaw.....that's what I thought.....u just come here 2 criticize about d namecalling and u end up doing exactly that by calling him: "a publicity hound and fear monger".... i guess that makes u feel all warm and fuzzy. BULLSHIT MUCH?.

dogbiter
dogbiter

You apparently don't read much. And you're stupid, too. Sure, let's pin the international drug trade on pitiful old Arpaio. Everyone's laughing -- at you, doof!

IdontRecall
IdontRecall

@Cuck Klee, and u keep coming back 4 more, go figure!!!! :D

MaskedMagician1967
MaskedMagician1967 topcommenter

Shadeaux, Aubuchon's hiding.

Thomas is too busy running for governor (we all know he's too delusional to win the office)

Henderbulk is probably hiding in Honduras.

Of course, Alexander can always come back to Arizona to defend Arpaio. She got off the lightest of the three Musketeers.

PosersSuck
PosersSuck

@Flyer9753

Penzone and Parraz? and you wonder why Arpaio has lasted 20 years? Look in the mirror, you are the epitome of the dimwitted mentality that has kept him there. Send another donation into CBA, Randy has his eye on a 4th house and could use some help with the down payment. I hear the piles of cash that was raked in on the last fake recall is beginning to dwindle. too many idiots in Maricopa County has Randy used to the high life.   

MaskedMagician1967
MaskedMagician1967 topcommenter

Flyer, I'd especially love it if former Judge Donahoe was appointed. That would be interesting indeed.

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

@robert_graham Isn't Rush a convicted drug addict?  Plus he can't hear, due to his drug abuse.


And he and Joke can share a bottle of little blue pills over lunch too!


No wonder Jaffy likes him!

MaskedMagician1967
MaskedMagician1967 topcommenter

Robert, Rush Limbaugh is a narcissistic douchebag. Just like you and just like Arpaio.

Now, stop watching FOX News and take your meds.

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

@MaskedMagician1967 ,

I know, Joe can pick Jaffy. That way he'll have a Toady and somebody to tend to his "Needs."

Wonder if Jaffy even knows what a "Toady" is?

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

@MaskedMagician1967 ,

Medications are usually not too effective when the problem is organic in origin,*

*You can't fix someone who is genetically dumb.

MaskedMagician1967
MaskedMagician1967 topcommenter

You're right Shadeaux. JAFfy is way too dumb for meds.

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