Top Ten MCSO Babysitters Sure to Make Joe Arpaio's Head Explode
Now that we know Sheriff Joe Arpaio and the MCSO will be getting a babysitter appointed by federal Judge G. Murray Snow to drag them kicking and screaming into the 21st Century, the question is, who is the right man (or woman) for the job?
Actually, consent decrees and court-appointed monitors are so common these days that there are individuals and consulting firms that specialize in such work. The ACLU and the MCSO will be dickering over possible candidates in the next 60 days. And if they can't agree, they'll hand over their picks and let the judge decide.
After reading and re-reading his detailed, 59-page order in the racial-profiling lawsuit Melendres v. Arpaio, I trust Snow to choose the right person or persons to whip the MCSO into shape over the next three-plus years.
But this monitor thing has gotten me to thinking about who I'd like to see appointed, just for the sheer thrill of watching Joe's head spontaneously combust when he gets the news. You know, kinda like Fantasy Football for Arpaio critics.
So here are my top ten picks of monitors sure to make Joe's noggin' erupt like Mount Saint Helens.
10. Sal Reza: The sly, irrepressible civil rights activist has been protesting and marching against Arpaio's rule for years. Currently, he's suing Arpaio for wrongful arrest and imprisonment in 2010, when Arpaio's goon squad took him into custody for no reason. Reza as monitor? Arpaio's mug would turn 30 shades of red.
Sal will be using his bullhorn to communicate as Joe's gotten hard of hearing...
9. Gary Donahoe: In 2010, the Superior Court judge became a target for retribution by Arpaio and then County Attorney Andrew Thomas, who filed bogus felony charges against the jurist, charges later thrown out. The filing of those charges became one of many reasons for Thomas' disbarment. Donahoe later sued and scored a $1.25 million settlement. The last laugh would be for Donahoe to oversee Arpaio's compliance in Melendres.
8. Sheila Polk: The Yavapai County Attorney has a backbone of steel. She refused to go along with Arpaio and Thomas' shenanigans, and in a now-famous public letter, called the pair "a threat to the entire criminal justice system." She would keep Arpaio on a short leash and make him obey, that's for sure.