No, Jan Brewer Is Not Putting "Gay-To-Straight Programs" in Arizona Schools

Categories: Fake!
jan-brewer-demon.jpg
Photo by Matthew Hendley
Governor Jan Brewer


A press release that reads like it was written by the Onion's junior-varsity squad apparently tricked some people into thinking Governor Jan Brewer was trying to turn Arizona's gay schoolchildren straight.

"Beginning November 1st of this year, the state of Arizona is implementing a mandatory school program designed for all children grades K-12 to help homosexual males and women become straight," the "news" story says. "The controversial conversion therapy will be used in all of Arizona's 2,325 public school curriculums and is already gathering a large amount of criticism as well as those who approve of the new program."

See also:
-Here Are 100 People Freaking Out Over Arizona's Fake "Gay-To-Straight Programs"

The story purportedly quotes Governor Jan Brewer, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, and the guy who runs an organization called People Can Change, which (actually) advertises itself as "Men who have resolved unwanted same-sex attractions supporting others seeking similar change."

It's hard to see how anyone read through the fake quote from Arpaio without any skepticism (although we suppose it's plausible):
Sheriff Joe Arpaio who runs some of the toughest jails and prisons in the country applauds Brewer's decision. "Less gays in our jails makes for a smoother running prison system. There will be no more prancing around along with all the other gay activities that homosexuals like to do," Arpaio said. "More importantly, we as parents can now sleep a little better at night just knowing there will be less gays out there wandering the streets trying to molest our children. I'm excited about this and I know all Arizonians are too."
Judging by our Facebook feed, and various other forums, people ate this up.

Let us reiterate: It's the fakest fake, written by the fakest fakers in Fakeville.

In fact, People Can Change has since updated its website to try to tell people that the whole Arizona thing is fake:

national-report.jpg


If you fell for this one, we have a question: Did you know gullible is the only word that's not in the dictionary? Check it out.

If you want to read the whole "report," click here.

UPDATE 10:49 a.m.: For those still not convinced the story's fake, see the evidence on the next page.


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67 comments
Jerry Guevin
Jerry Guevin

But then again, this is from Arizona. One never knows.

Sammy Zoeller
Sammy Zoeller

Not that the thought hasn't crossed her mind ... :O

Vince Rafferty
Vince Rafferty

I feel the same way about that guy in the White House but let me guess you love Barack Hussein O.

Matt Mendenhall
Matt Mendenhall

The sad thing is that it seemed possible; that's how ludicrous Arizona politics have become.

Marc Severson
Marc Severson

There were people who fell for it, why? Because it COULD happen here! Only in Arizona.

Alex Tropp
Alex Tropp

Mejor "Que le den", para que piensen un poco.

Brenda Gonzalez
Brenda Gonzalez

Me not living in Arizona has nothing to do with my thoughts.. I consider my home to be Arizona...She's been an idiot from the get go and I think she should be impeached....She is a disgrace to the state....

Craig McDermott
Craig McDermott

Betcha she would if she thought she would get away with it.

Malinda Santiago
Malinda Santiago

It is not true, even though many of us in AZ think in time she will try before her term is up.

John Gray
John Gray

It was on the internet, it must be true

David James
David James

Well, obviously someone DID fall for it.

Brenda Gonzalez
Brenda Gonzalez

She is such an idiot....she needs impeached....That seems like it's against civil rights...

Cory Farley
Cory Farley

Yeah, but the important thing is that she's such a loon, the story was believable.

whyowhy
whyowhy

Jan Brewer does have a horrible track record for being conservative and quite frankly, this article fooled a great deal of people here in AZ. Some of my gay friends were outraged! One of them has a little girl who is just starting school and my friend was in tears over this. Sheriff Joe? Same deal. None of us AZ's would put it past him to say something highly controversial as he has done so many times.

As a person who is gay, I don't find any of this amusing in the least bit. I don't think it's clever, intelligent, or creative. I think it's lack of brain power and pure laziness by the author to submit such "work."

The author, is an ass.

downtown21
downtown21

I knew it was satire, but I can understand why a lot of people fell for it...I browsed their site, and the problem with National Report is that despite all the satire none of the stories succeed at being funny. Since it's not funny, a lot of people don't get the joke.

Leo Horishny
Leo Horishny

And because she isn't putting them into the schools doesn't mean she doesn't, or wouldnt', WANT to put them in the schools.

Leo Horishny
Leo Horishny

Or-r-r-r, she's not putting them in Arizona schools, YET.

sussmanbern
sussmanbern

The story seemed plausible because Jan Brewer already has a track record for supporting whacko reichtwing ideas.

Mea Culpa
Mea Culpa

She is nuts you never know... they do have the Abstinence only evangelical preaching in our schools here!

Brandon Doyle
Brandon Doyle

For other related articles search: people who think the onion is real. It's funny until it's sad...

Leslie Billings
Leslie Billings

I don't think its gullible at all to believe this. We do live in Arizona, after all, and, well...

Ruben DeClay
Ruben DeClay

Looking at her face would turn any man gay!!

Seriously
Seriously

If Joe Arpaio saying something ignorant and preposterous seems like a tell to you, you must have no idea who Joe Arpaio is.  


Seriously
Seriously

If Joe Arpaio saying something ignorant and preposterous seems like a tell to you, you must have no idea who Joe Arpaio is.  

eric.nelson745
eric.nelson745 topcommenter

Did any of the names mentioned in the article chime in on the fake sex-ed course? I'd love to read what Len Munsil, most off-the-reservation wackadoodle in AZ would have had to say about it.

Cris Cross
Cris Cross

Shes putting india in front of arizona.

Tara Oakes
Tara Oakes

It doesn't matter if its real or not, Brewer is still a horrible human.

Kimberly Lawrence-Haslett
Kimberly Lawrence-Haslett

hello Phoenix New Times, I fail to see why your smug response to this story is the story. What the real story should be about is why so many in this state would find this totally believable. We live in a state where our government officials play by their rules, and I don't think this is so far fetched.

Kerry Wright
Kerry Wright

I ll bet she is real upset she did not thinkof this and try and start it befor the "Onion" article

Leslie Jones
Leslie Jones

I admit I fell for it. Have A Gay Day, said it wasn't true. I believed them. Since I live here, I knew it could be true. That's sad. Who knows what they vote on in the middle of the night...

Ricky Goltz
Ricky Goltz

Almost as funny as the satire piece on Michael Jackson's REAL killer...that was probably the best satire I read in a while.

James Burns
James Burns

The sad thing is that our State is so backwards that the story was in fact completely believable at first glance. Brewer and her ilk are so diabolical, and based on her actions over the past few years there really was no reason to doubt the accuracy of the article.

Steve Smith
Steve Smith

Gullible IS in the dictionary dumbass!

bigjohn
bigjohn

@Vince Rafferty .........I recognize you, you were the guy I was having sex with in the bathroom downtown in the baseball stadium. You were on your knees wanting  more, more more.

valleynative
valleynative topcommenter

@Seriously  

Crazy and preposterous, fine.  That's Joe.  But he wouldn't call us "Arizonians".

bigjohn
bigjohn

@Tara Oakes She's not human. It is an embarrassment to any creature that walks on 2 feet. Jan is a slug.

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