10 Craziest Phoenix Crimes of the Month: May

No matter how many police reports we read through on a monthly basis, the criminal creativity, stupidity, and craziness never ceases to amaze us.

Just when you think you've seen it all, there's always something worse. From a restaurant owner murdering the co-owners in the dining room, to a woman squeezing a cop's scrotum (in a bad way), to a man's obsession with watching other men poop gone too far, and more, we bring you the 10 craziest Phoenix crimes this month:

10.) J'Shon Youyetewa, Pretending to Be Her Brother, Demands That Cops "Verify She Had a Penis"

After J'Shon Youyetewa got the cops' attention by trying to fight random people at a high school graduation ceremony, she tried to convince police that she was actually her brother, and dared the cops to prove her wrong. Youyetewa "specifically demanded officers check to verify she had a penis." She later refused to give her address, and when police asked who she lived with, she replied that she lived with "you can suck my dick." She finally gave her real name and Social Security Number, to the fifth cop who tried to get it out of her, without having to show her non-existent penis.

9.) Kenneth Melton Has Weed in Pocket, Walks Head-First Into Tree for Saddest Arrest of 2013

Kenneth Melton, a 33-year-old Phoenix resident, got arrested only because he walked head-first into a tree. Phoenix police officers watched as Melton hit his head on the tree and apparently thought it was so bad that they stopped to make sure Melton was okay. Police asked for Melton's name, and he gave them a fake one because he had a warrant for his arrest, leading to cops arresting him, and finding the weed and pipe after searching him. All because he walked head-first into a tree.

8.) Jessica Harvey Passed Out Drunk While Infant Kids Started Eating Random Pills, Cops Say

A Phoenix woman who stepped outside of her apartment to have a smoke one evening found her neighbor's infant children sitting outside and eating pills -- both prescription and over-the-counter -- from six different bottles, police said. The woman ran into the apartment next door and found the kids' mother, 36-year-old Jessica Harvey, passed out on the floor between the bathroom and the hallway. Both kids were hospitalized, and one had his stomach pumped due to a life-threatening dose of aspirin.

7.) Tony Phung, Restaurant Owner, Accused of Stabbing Co-Owners to Death in Dining Area

Believe it or not, Amy's Baking Company isn't the biggest "kitchen nightmare" in the Valley. That honor goes to Vietnamese restaurant Pho 35, where the owner allegedly stabbed two of the restaurant's co-owners to death in the dining room. Employees told police they didn't see who started the fight, but they did see brothers Brandon and Timmy Hoang stumble out of the front door of the restaurant, injured and bleeding. Tony Phung, who was arguing with the three other co-owners about the hiring and firing of the staff at the restaurant, admitted to police that he stabbed the men.

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Gary Waterman
Gary Waterman

Im confused. How can New Times on the 1 hand present 10 crazy crimes while using the Police reports to tell the stories as fact.. yet on the other hand frequently say everything the Police says is a lie?? Are you whoring for stories again? You have a pretty clear anti police history. Stay on your side of the line. You confuse people when you jump back and forth like this. I would expect this story to be called "10 outrageous made up things the cops are pinning on these fine upstanding citizens".

Andrew Centrella
Andrew Centrella

Working in restaurants my whole life, I totally understand #7.

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