Vladimir Putin and Joe Arpaio Have the Same Strange Obsession With Steven Seagal

putin-seagal.jpg
via @nicoenault
Vladimir Putin (left) and Steven Seagal
Stop us if you've heard this one before -- a man often accused of being a dictator is making sure the press shows up to his meetings with pseudo-celebrity Steven Seagal and claims they've been longtime friends.

You can fill in the blank on who we're talking about, because that fits the profile of both Sheriff Joe Arpaio and, more recently, Russian President Vladimir Putin.

See also:
-Arpaio's Posse Doing a School-Shooting Simulation, Steven Seagal's Supervising

According to Russian news agency Itar-Tass, "Putin and Seagal arrived together from Putin's residence in Novo-Ogaryovo and had a luncheon together, Putin's spokesman Dmitry Peskov told journalists."

That spokesman also said Putin and Seagal have "long been friends" and hang out all the time.

As you may recall, Seagal joined Arpaio recently for a publicity stunt to exploit dead children a "simulated school shooting," teaching Arpaio's volunteer posse members the most important methods to stopping a school shooting, like "room-entry tactics and hand-to-hand tactics."

Some might say that Arpaio and Putin have a lot in common. That's not entirely true because Putin's way, way better at publicity stunts.

For example, here's how they pull of publicity stunts at hospitals:

arpaio-hospital-putin.jpg

See, the press release from the Kremlin probably explained that Putin healed this man, whereas this screen-grab of Arpaio in his hospital bed makes it look like his family's having the pull-the-plug conversation right in front of him.

They also handle animals differently.

ARPAIOPUPPY-putin.jpg

Arpaio will use a puppy in an attempt to avoid answering questions about mismanaging the Sheriff's Office. Putin will tell a large tiger to go the fuck to sleep, and it will listen. Putin will even pose for the photo.

They do have their similarities, though -- both have experience with gulags, doing really shady things come election time and, of course, letting Steven Seagal plant his lips upon their ass cheeks.



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17 comments
DNichols
DNichols

If Hitler was alive Segal would probably be his friend too?

But since Hitler is dead, Segal has had to settle with  little pink panty Hitler as his pal.

Slappy
Slappy

Sheriff Paul Babeu is "chopping at the bit" to meet Seagal. Pau want Seagal to show him how to shoot.

squash
squash

The sad thing is that Joe Arpaio can't be a dictator because he was voted into office in a (somewhat) clean election. Vladimir Putin, alternatively, steals every election he ever runs in through the massive use of election fraud. Thankfully, we have another chance at getting rid of Arpaio with this new recall petition that is being circulated. 

Eleanor_Holguin
Eleanor_Holguin

No shirtless pics of Putin???? Damn, Matty........what's up with that?

TheChef
TheChef

I'll bet Sheriff BooBoo has an opening just for him.

TaxpayingVoter
TaxpayingVoter

@squash I honestly don't think it has much of a chance of succeeding, as far as a new election would go.

I hate having to say that but this electorate isn't known for its intelligence quotient.

WhoKnows
WhoKnows topcommenter

@ctglobaldocs It was so nice when the Stoller circus left town for about a year.  Was there a restraining order that kept his minions away from the New Times?

squash
squash

@TaxpayingVoter I mean...it depends on which way you look at it. If the recall organizers DO end up getting all the signatures needed, they can just throw a young/younger (hopefully more moderate, less extreme) Republican in there to run against Arpaio. In that case, he's toast - we can all say bye-bye to Arpaio.

squash
squash

@TaxpayingVoter Too bad we got that other dumbass shurf named Paul "studboi1" Babeu who DOES like to pose with his shirt off...

TaxpayingVoter
TaxpayingVoter

@squash @TaxpayingVoter Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying not to try.  I support all efforts every time.

I just can't find it in me to hope that the guy will ever be gone.  Hell, I sometimes doubt he'll even DIE....lol

squash
squash

@TaxpayingVoter I try to be (cautiously) optimistic when it comes to recall efforts like this. We got rid of Pearce - we CAN get rid of Arpaio too!

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