Worst "Bath Salts"/"Spice" Tale From Yavapai County?

Categories: Morning Poll
See also: "Bath Salts" Tales From Yavapai County
See also: Bath Salts: Our Told-Ya-So Moments on "Ban" Continue
See also: Naked Men in Tempe High on Bath Salts: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3


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nightbiscuit.com
Yesterday, we brought you a few of the many "bath salts"-related stories in affidavits submitted in a Yavapai County case, as the county attorney's office believes it has effectively banned the sale of synthetic drugs in the county.

We didn't even get through all of the affidavits submitted, but, yikes, the stuff is no joke.

Parents, medical professionals, and cops recalled their encounters with users of "bath salts" and "spice," which included a man who believed he'd been in a zoo since the beginning of earth, another who believed he had made friends with javalinas in his backyard, and another who accused several moving vehicles of raping his imaginary daughter.

For this morning's poll, we'll pick the five craziest tales, and you pick the absolute worst:

  1. (About a man who called 9-1-1 ten or 11 times for a possible assault or possible rape.) "When I made contact with this individual he said that someone raped his daughter but when I questioned him further there were many inconsistencies in his statements. Every time a car would pass by, he would say that's the car that raped my daughter...When I asked [the man's son] about the possible rape of his sister, the son replied that he does not have a sister and that he is the only child." (Bath salts)
  2. "On July 9, 2012, we received a call of a male acting disorderly and that was disoriented while at the Out of Africa Wildlife Park in Camp Verde...He told the deputy he was there from the beginning of time 6000 years ago. He asked the deputy if he knew Cain and Abel." (Spice)
  3. "[Her son] started to get sores in his mouth, urinate blood, his skin started to rot, he lost a considerable amount of weight, he would pick at his skin, he had uncontrollable twitching and blinking of his eyes and he started to have hallucinations. He stated that the javelina in the back yard were talking to him and playing games with him." (Bath Salts)
  4. "In November, 2011, I responded to a call regarding a possible vehicle theft in the Walker area of Prescott. During my investigation, I spoke with a number of individuals that had indicated that the vehicle owner had ingested a large amount of 'Bath Salts' and 'Spice.' They indicated that after the vehicle owner had smoked and ingested 'Bath Salts,' he thought he was a Ninja Warrior and he abandoned the vehicle."
  5. "...[A subject in a disorderly-conduct call] told me that he had not slept and that he was seeing little Mexicans 'beat on his eyeballs.' Upon further investigation, another individual had advised me the suspect had been smoking 'Bath Salts.'"

Cast your vote below:




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4 comments
SeedyWard
SeedyWard

There is something appealing about the story of the guy chatting with javalinas and hanging out playing some games with them. Does a wild pig play a good game of chess, I wonder?

peteykins
peteykins

Hard to choose. They're all so... funny?

QstionEvythng
QstionEvythng

"They indicated that after the vehicle had smoked and ingested 'Bath Salts" - even the cars are hooked in Yavapai County.  Can we build a border fence between Maricopa and Yavapai Counties to keep those dangerous Yavapains out.

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

Did number 5 ask the little Mexicans to "show me your papers?" After all, we don't want little illegal immigrants taking jobs from little Americans.

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