Joe Arpaio's BirtherFest Canceled Due to Crappy Ticket Sales
|What your neighborhood birther may look like today.|
The Greater Phoenix Tea Party Patriots group admits it just couldn't sell enough of the $10 tickets to hold the event, which was scheduled for September 22 at the Celebrity Theatre.
BirtherFest was also to feature old-person celebrity Pat Boone, and Terry Lakin, the Army doctor who spent time in a military prison for refusing his deployment to Afghanistan over "birther" issues.
Cold Case Posse lead bullshitter Mike Zullo was also on the list of speakers.
As the Feathered Bastard said when the event was announced, "Apparently Joe didn't get the message that his birther shtick is not popular with the public."
But don't worry, birthers, Linda Bentley wrote while breaking the bad news on Facebook that the "investigation" is ongoing. Of course, that "investigation" is as real as the unicorn in my backyard, and not nearly as exciting.
If you already paid for your opportunity to take in more shit than a Porta-Potty after the Nathan's hot dog-eating contest, don't worry -- the group says you're getting a refund.