Joe Arpaio's Master Birther Mike Zullo in You Write the Caption

Photo by Jamie Peachey
Your caption here.
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his birther brigade -- led by chief "investigator" Mike Zullo -- held another press conference this week to announce their new "evidence" that President Obama's birth certificate is a forgery.

Not surprisingly, the Cold Case Posse's "evidence" was debunked months before Arpaio and Zullo presented it as fact.

Given Zullo's second failed attempt at coming up with anything credible or original -- and since he's the subject of a new complaint filed with the Internal Revenue Service -- he's earned a spot in this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.

The rules for You Write the Caption are simple: We provide the picture (above), and you provide the caption to that photo in the comments below.

On Monday, we'll announce the top-five reader captions and put them to a vote. The winner will receive a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building for a firm handshake and/or a high-five.

Do your best (or worst), New Times readers.

My Voice Nation Help

we all know your a zenophobe,racist from way back when.  you should really explore the root of your maniacal hatred and ethnocentrism--zullo-----and you have quite the inflated resume--but wait--you never really had a real resume??????

OnlyInArizona 1 Like

"What do you mean you've seen better heads on cabbage"  I RESEMBLE that remark!


"Alright, we have a lot of ground to cover so try to stay with me.  First, what we previously thought was a watermark in the lower right corner of this document has been analyzed and identified as sauce that dripped out of a fish taco I was eating.  Rotate it 90 degrees to the right and you'll see the clear image of the virgin Mary.  Next we see a list of words:

Arpaio, Zullo, Corsi,Posse, Hawaii, Obama, Kenya and taco.  The connection?  Each ends in a vowel. Coincidence?  I think not.  When you take the first letter of each word and place them in a specific order, it spells Hot AZ CPK.  CPK of course is California Pizza Kitchen, which has on it's menu a salad containing two very foreign sounding ingredients: Quiona and Arugula; again, both words ending in a vowel.  When you re-arrange the letters in my name it spells the phrase u kill me oz.  I know, right?  Tip of the iceberg people, tip of the iceberg..."  

Nicholsdaves 1 Like

Zullo:  Come on Guys Throw us a Bone, Arpaio paid for our lush Hawaii Vacation/ Hookers!

And you know he Hates our Colored President.

wherewasi topcommenter 1 Like

Dr. Justin Time, renowned abnormal neurocognitive researcher and paleontologist, reveals the data he has collected after extensive study of America's Stupidest Sheriff, Joseph Arpaio.  During a conference held in front of a shocked audience in Sun City, Dr. Time revealed his conclusions:  "Arpaio is a flippin idiot.  IF he had a brain (which he does NOT) he would most likely take it out of his head and play with it."

ptcgaz topcommenter 2 Like

"And here you can clearly see the number 9, which means.. blah blah blah blah blah, oh year and Obama was born in Kenya, blah blah blah blah and Obama's Mother isn't really from Kansas, so therefore Obama isn't a US Citizen... blah blah blah blah, just kidding folks, you got all worked up over nothing.

WhoKnows 2 Like

I have something very important to say.  My mom kicked me out of the house.  Has anyone got a room they can rent me? Thanks.  I'll now turn it over to Joe.

ginadwf 2 Like

Settle down, everyone, while I show you the slides from my Hawaiian vacation.

NeedACleverName 2 Like

Pay no attention to Jerome Corsi's hand up my ass.

MyrtMyrt 1 Like

I'm a used car salesman an I approved this whackjob conspiracy theory.

RetiredArmy 4 Like

My next book, co-authored with sheriff joe, will be titled "Tax Payer Funded Vacations Made Easy".



"You have to buy the car today to get this deal."

SkyCaptain 3 Like

"We searched both high and low for proof that President Obama was born in Hawaii, but no, we did not search to my immediate left.  Why do you ask?"

roadscholar 1 Like

"And I can also show you how to tell everything about a woman just by carefully examining her license plate!"

scobob 4 Like

First of all, I would like to thank Sheriff joe for the trip to Hawaii, it was great. I would also like to mention all the gullible fools of the cold case posse that made this whole thing possible. And last but not least all of the taxpayers who's deep pockets we have raided time after time and who just keep coming back for more.

JimMac 4 Like

"In looking at all the evidence we've uncovered, it is our conclusion that Mike Zullo's birth certificate is a fake and he cannot be trusted as an investigator"




"Your beloved sheriff, my boss, is dedicated to checking the papers on every brown person in America," said Mike Zullo. "This is symbiosis at its best: people like Joe and I stay employed, while the country remains distracted enough to avoid the high levels of anxiety they might otherwise experience in a country being looted by multinational-mega-corporations and banking cartels. We're the band that plays on while the ship sinks. It's noble, really. Enjoy the show, that's what we're here for!"


I'm serial, I'm serial, ManBearPig is real!

tindweee 1 Like

lol, Arpaio is clearly corrupt as the day is long. A true pompous windbag for sure.


Today I'll to prove to you that Unicorns are real and in fact have valid birth certificates, unlike Obama.

Quinn 1 Like

You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Shurrf Joe.

justme 3 Like

Why do you all laugh hysterically at me when I say I'm not doing this for the money?

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