Arizona's Dumbest Alleged Criminals of 2012 (Thus Far...)

By Jason Lewis Fri., Jul. 20 2012 at 5:14 PM

MCSO

You'll never guess how police caught Carlos Sturgus.

In the past few weeks, we've ranked the dumbest moments of two of Arizona's most trusted elected officials, Governor Jan Brewer and Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

We decided to give the politicians a break this week and rank the dumbest moments of individuals who we'd actually expect to have really stupid moments -- alleged criminals.

The criminals on this list aren't ranked for the gruesomeness of their alleged crimes -- just the sheer stupidity they displayed in the process.

10. Two Guys Arrested in "Murdercopa County" With Serious Hometown Pride

MCSO

Moses Ulloa (left) and Vicente Valles.

Talk about bad publicity. In June, the New Times came across the mugshots of two heavily-tatted criminals who represented the Valley to the fullest with their ink.

Moses Ulloa, who was booked for meth possession, has a tattoo of the City of Glendale logo plastered on the top of his head and "Murdercopa County" tattooed on his neck. The other, Vicente Valles -- who was arrested on domestic violence charges -- has the City of Tempe logo emblazoned on his chin and an Arizona State University logo inscribed across his cheek. Not only do they look absolutely stupid, we'll see later on in the list that easily identifiable tattoos aren't the brightest investments for criminals.

Tags:

2012, arizona, brigham, criminals, dumbest, far, naked carjacker, phoenix, sturgus, thus, yankees

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gailross5555

Very poor taste to further humiliate and make mock of people who are mentally ill, in need of drug rehab or whatever there problem is. Many are victims of an exploitative judicial money system to feed the corporate prison state. I find this disgusting...does it make you feel superior or what? It is pompous and arrogant for laughing and making fun of these people..stop it. It is bullying if anything. Do you know arrests are up by the thousand since last year? How many are innocent or set up or exploited by the cops cause they are poor. You do not know their side of the story and choose to perpetuate guilty until proven innocent and I think that is stupid. Why don't you investigate the money trail for the judicial players where the house almost always wins because convictions pay big dividends to all players but the convicted?

mjruns

Yep, Yankees Suck!

wonsamm

lol def not the brightest bulbs in the pack lol

www.Anony-Max.tk

Obijuankenobi

This is ur brain or in this case ur head on drugs !!

StableMaster

Carlos Sturgis is going to get lots of attention in prison. Pretty and Stupid.

BeeSeen26

hasn't Sherrif JOE Cost Arizona (Maricopa County), rather, A lot of money. Maybe even bankrupted us with the Andrew Thomas & the other guys--oh what's his Name?? Anyhoo..Scandal..I'm not the most politically minded person in the World. He is well intended I think but too Old School for a Modern Society. Henceforth: I shot the SHERIFF, but I didn't Shoot the deputy. ~ Eric Clapton

Blessings fellow Arizonans

Inhale

What a waste of time.

nojailforyou1

The ten "smart" criminals are pretty dumb, but I still don't think they best the one by By James King from February 2, 2011; "Naked Phoenix Man Found in Backyard. Tells Cops He has (Ahem) Interesting Plan -- and He'd Like Them to Watch". I can remember this quote as an example of good arrest conduct when the accused told the officers, "Hey, look, I'm going to finger-bang my asshole and I want you to watch." You can't make this shit up. Truth is funnier.

Read it here at: http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/another_stupid-criminal_story/

lilggurl718

the video was removed.

DFxHooligan

This looks like Cory Gunz

SeedyWard

1 Like

WTF is up with the whole facial tattoo craze? When I was a kid my father always told me regarding tattoos: "Tattoos are stupid. However, if you're going to get a tattoo, remember two things. First: never get a woman's name tattooed on you. Second, always get your tattoo in a place that will be covered by a casual, short sleeve business shirt." To which I later added, never get a tattoo from a guy who failed English. Spelling errors can be a real bitch. Anyhow, the whole facial tattoo thing boggles my mind. A person brands themselves for life and effectively banishes himself from polite society for what?

Marcy

Drugs and/or booze abuse is likely part of each of the loser's lives. Vasectomies and tubal ligations are mcalled for in all these cases, particularly the ones where the criminals have already shown they are breeding the next generation of losers.

Society needs to find a way to deal with the utterly without redeeming value petty thieves, like chucking them in the Soylent Green vat.

ptcgaz

LoL all of these people are pretty fail to be honest.

ptcgaz

btw I dont know how to edit posts on this new system, but I wanted to mention that AZ public schools are pretty fail as well, and some of these people are the result if I had to guess