Scottsdale Now Offering Jail Time for People Who Get Caught Feeding Birds
Like, an actual misdemeanor that would lead to a really awkward conversation in a job interview.
The city recently passed the ordinance, which goes into effect today, makes it a class-two misdemeanor if you get caught being a total criminal by giving bread to a bird.
"The ban is necessary to manage the growing bird population, protect the health of wildlife and improve the quality of water in city lakes," a city press release says.
So any of you Wonder Bread-toting scumbags in the park who get caught trying to wreck the ecosystem can get fined, jailed, and put on probation.
The jail time ranges from a suspended sentence to a maximum of four months, with up to two years on probation and a fine as high as $750, plus surcharges.
Meanwhile, showing off your genitals to a random person over the age of 15 in a public park is only slightly more serious -- a class one misdemeanor -- and you get to do it twice before you end up on a sex offender list.
Or you could feed the birds.