Mitt Romney: Is He a Unicorn? More Than 17,000 People Want Ken Bennett to Find Out

Categories: Birthers (sigh)
romney-unicorn.jpg
leftaction.com
Alleged unicorn Mitt Romney.
Is GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney a businessman? Or is he really a unicorn?

At the time of this post, more than 17,000 people would like Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett to find out.

In response to the 1,200 "birthers" who asked Bennett to verify with the state of Hawaii -- yet again -- that President Obama has a birth certificate there, the left-wingers would also like Bennett to check out their conspiracy theory.

"I understand you are considering kicking President Obama off the ballot because some people continue to raise questions about his birth," the petition to Bennett says. "Well, I believe it cannot be proven conclusively that Mitt Romney is *not* a unicorn. A unicorn would not be qualified to be president. Thus, I hope you will apply the same standard to Romney, and investigate the unicorn question."

Indeed, Romney has never denied being a unicorn, and the left-wingers say it's possible Romney's hair could be covering up a unicorn horn.

The evidence -- just like in Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's "investigation" into President Obama's birth certificate -- doesn't exist.

According to 3TV, Bennett said he would check out Romney's Michigan birth certificate if people asked, but called the unicorn inquiry "ridiculous."

Bennett, the Arizona co-chair for Romney's campaign, apparently hasn't been following the ridiculous efforts by Arpaio's "Cold Case Posse" to prove Obama wasn't born in Hawaii.

After receiving word from Hawaii yesterday that Obama's birth certificate checks out, Bennett told the Arizona Republic the situation is resolved, and Obama will be on Arizona's ballots come November, but that's not stopping the people from asking him to verify Romney's documentation.

As one of the petition-signers pointed out, the framers likely did not intend for unicorns to be qualified as natural-born citizens, so the lefties just want Bennett to check it all out.

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86 comments
Kubrick-Davis
Kubrick-Davis

I thought Romeny was born in Mexico?? I may be wrong but doesn't the Romeny family have current ties to Mexico even today?

Michael
Michael

"Are you saying Joe Arpaio is not investigating this because he is secretly a unicorn too?"  Of course.  Why would he investigate one of his own?  He's part of the conspiracy.It's time we saw Romney's long-form birth certificate.  But how could we be sure it wasn't a fake??  

JesterJackson
JesterJackson

I think the reason Romney wont release all his tax records because he IS a unicorn.   I'm sure that there is an ineligible unicorn tax credit he claimed. He should release his & his children's last 10 years of tax returns to disprove the accusation of being a unicorn.

Twilight Sparkle
Twilight Sparkle

Mitt Romney is NOT a unicorn, and I don't appreciate you calling him one.

Ted Dazitus
Ted Dazitus

If they can prove he's not a unicorn but actually a regular horse's ass, he's qualified.

ExpertShot
ExpertShot

Do you realize that Romey is spending MILLIONS to keep his real Unicorn heritage secret!  Why is he hiring lawyers right now to defend against releasing ANY INFORMATION about his bona fides to become our President.  Mitt has lots of splaining to do!

Ike1961
Ike1961

I thought the unicorn thing was a joke a first, but when I realized that Romney has yet to prove he is NOT a unicorn,  I feel the matter requires further investigation.  The position of president is too important.

kimma
kimma

Another thing, Unicorns hate Guns.  A Unicorn will take our guns away and I aint lettin no Unicorn step all over my 2nd ammendment Constitional Rights!

kimma
kimma

Some people may call this silly but to that I say I am Christian Patriotic American!  Have you considered what will happen to all of us Non-Unicorns if a Unicorn is the President?God Bless the United States of America

Kimma
Kimma

If he is NOT a Unicorn, then WHY hasn't he simply shown us proof?? A simple DNA test can clear all of this up, so Why hasn't he done that yet?

Conservative American
Conservative American

Does the mean Sheriff "Cupcake" Arpaio will send a deputy over the rainbow?  I hear the Care Bears have secreted information. Just remember to pack your ruby slippers to ensure your safe return, sweetheart.

Rvhobo1954
Rvhobo1954

One thing for sure until this latest fiasco I had never heard or paid any attention to Ken Bennett's name but one can bet when I see his name in future on any ballot for any office he will not get my vote anyone claiming to be intelligent, educated who believes in this birhterism is in my view like those who claim little grey men with big eyes kidnapped them did funny things to them! I don't think I want them making any serious decisions on my behalf!

John
John

Yes, by all means I think they should jump right on this, perhaps if they spend enough time they will ensure a Mitt win.

L.C.
L.C.

Mitt Romney is a Transformer!

EVAPROA
EVAPROA

OOPS should of been MEXICORN

Phoenix Justice
Phoenix Justice

Mr. Romney may or not be a unicorn, but can it be proven that Mr. Romney is not a robot?  Where is the certification that Mr. Romney is not a robot?

Eva proa
Eva proa

So ROMNEY is a MEXIICRON?

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

 Actually, they removed 2 horns, a long red pointy tail and a couple of hooves.

david saint
david saint

and here i thought it was just something up his ass....

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Matthew Hendley
Matthew Hendley

Please direct any unicorn-related inquiries to my attorney.

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Coz
Coz

Why won't Bennett investigate Romney for being a unicorn unless he has something to hide ?

Come on Bennett, you've already made yourself and Arizona look like the bigger fools than people already thought possible, why stop there ?

ExpertShot
ExpertShot

Interesting that in 1893 corrupt Capitalist corporations (Romney calls them "people") overthrew the native government of Hawaii which had been continuous in that country since 300 CE.  The United States Government was complicit in that act.  Now, a native Hawaiian has taken control of the United States back from the corrupt Capitalist corporations which controlled it (corporate "people" don't ever die you know - those legal "chains of ownership" still exist today).  I'd call it a VICTORY for indigenous people everywhere - also, remember this, DON'T FUGK WITH HAWAIIANS!

From Wikipedia:

In January 1893, Queen Liliʻuokalaniwas overthrown and replaced by a Provisional Government composed of members ofthe Committee of Safety. Controversy filled the following years as the queentried to re-establish her throne. The administration of President GroverCleveland commissioned the Blount Report, which concluded that the removal ofLiliʻuokalani was illegal. The U.S. government firstdemanded that Queen Liliʻuokalani be reinstated, but the Provisional Governmentrefused. Congress followed with another investigation, and submitted theMorgan Report on February 26, 1894, which found all parties (including MinisterStevens) with the exception of the queen "not guilty" from anyresponsibility for the overthrow.[48] The accuracy and impartiality of both theBlount and Morgan reports has been questioned by partisans on both sides of thedebate over the events of 1893.[47][49][50][51]

 

In 1993, a joint Apology Resolution regarding the overthrowwas passed by Congress and signed by President Clinton, apologizing for theoverthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom.[51] It is the first time in American historythat the United States government has apologized for overthrowing thegovernment of a sovereign nation. 

BleenGloob
BleenGloob

You are right. Ken bennett had his son shove broom handles and flashlights up Willard's ass to determine if he once was a unicorn. Later they all went to lunch and ate pizza with a fork.

Coz
Coz

Is he a unicorn too ?

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

 Don't worry Coz,  Arizona is sending a delegation of 30 to the upcoming Republican National Convention and one of them is Jan Brewer. Let's see how many drinks it takes her to get that ol finger a-waggin and the has dids flying out of her mouth.   Anyway, with her and the other 29 wingnuts in attendance, I'm sure that they will find all kinds of new ways to embarrass us.

david saint
david saint

:LMAO i love it! Bennetts statement to me shows he did this for the benefit of Romney, not for citizens as he claimed..otherwise why would he call 17k people ridiculous, and the 1200 that were on his side not?  I say we recall them all!!! Brewer, Horne, Monty, Bennett, AND anyone in the state legislature who refused to give the bill about gifts any attention. Makes you wonder, if they took away the "gifts" how many republicans would still run for such a low paying job...

Lorrin A. Thurston
Lorrin A. Thurston

That's the politically correct revisionist version of what happened in Hawaii. The history on both sides of the debate is a lot more complicated.

The apology resolution is also an unconstitutional violation of the sovereignty of the people of the State of Hawa'ii.

Shadow Wolf
Shadow Wolf

If it's Michael Manning. Then no. I think he is the one who defended Lacey and Larkin.

Coz
Coz

No doubt....LOL

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

 Too bad you're not so concerned about the violation of the sovereignty of the people of the KINGDOM of Hawaii that was committed by your ancestor and the other coup plotters, Mr. Thurston. Too bad you didn't have the intestinal fortitude and honesty to acknowledge here that you have a dog in this fight. What you refer to as the politically correct version is also the historically correct version. By what legal process was the coup promulgated? How many Hawaiians - not wealthy haole descendants of missionaries, Mr. Thurston - supported the coup that your ancestor helped to bring to fruition, a coup that was backed up by the U.S. minister to Hawaii and by sailors from the U.S.S. Boston? And in contrast, how many Hawaiians signed the petition to restore the legitimate government of the monarchy that was sent to Washington? The coup to topple the legitimate government of the Kingdom of Hawaii was a naked power grab by the wealthy descendants of haole Christian missionaries. You can spin it whichever way you want, but your ancestor and all of the other haole descendants of Christian missionaries who took part in that sordid act committed treason against their own country.  It would seem that they never did become a part of the country they so arrogantly decided to "convert." And by the way, what happened to the rich culture of the Hawaiian people as soon as your ancestor and other co-conspirators handed control of the "Republic" over to the U.S.? Your ancestor and the other wealthy haoles turned Hawaii into a tropical version of Mississippi, where they enjoyed a life of wealth and indolence while people of color toiled away on their plantations under haole lunas for the big boss man. I remember reading an account of a Nisei soldier in World War II expressing his amazement when he saw a white man in the south doing manual labor. That just didn't happen in your ancestor's pseudo-colonial empire. And just how have the Big Five and the rest of the Haole power bloc fared in Hawaii since the 1950s, when people of color began to become politically organized? Castle & Cooke is now a mainland business, building their ticky-tacky houses here in Arizona and elsewhere.

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

if you had any honest sense of history you would know - and acknowledge - that there is a huge difference between Hawaiians - those people of native background whose bloodline stretches back many generations and who lost their culture and their identity when haoles decided to steal their country at gunpoint - and residents of the state of Hawaii. Your flag waving antiseptic story of all those happy Hawaiians eagerly embracing statehood is as much bullshit as the story southern segregationists and their supporters used to like to tell about how happy and much better off those "darkies" were back on the plantation. What about the petition signed by the great majority of adult ethnic Hawaiians protesting the illegal takeover of their country and forthcoming annexation? What about the Hui Hawaii Aloha Aina? Why don't you use James Kaulia as one of your pen names? Or David Kalauokalni?  Or Lili'oukalni? I guess those are just a couple of those inconvenient "revisionist" facts and a few "revisionist" Hawaiians that you choose to ignore in order to make your fairy tale seem more real to you.

There are quite a few haoles with some Hawaiian blood in their ancestry. So what? Hawaiians accepted haoles into their country. They DIDN'T ask them to topple their government and to be annexed to the United States. They didn't ask to have their language and culture to be relegated to sideshows for tourists.

Nothing that you have said here changes the shameful fact that a group of the descendants of haole missionaries organized a coup, overthrew the legally constituted government of a long-established country and did so under the protection of U.S. forces and with the connivance of a U.S. diplomat who was supposed to be representing a government that was friendly to the kingdom of Hawaii, not plotting gunboat diplomacy That's not revisionism - that's historical fact - you have not refuted it because you can't. You wave away all those sordid and despicable acts by saying "history is complicated."

I guess that's your euphemism for the destruction of a culture and a naked power gab abetted by the guns of a supposedly friendly power. Why don't you cite statistics about the health and standard of living of ethnic Hawaiians, who are SO happy to be at the bottom of the totem pole? I'm not anti-American, Goober. I'm just more honest than you are about history. Why don't you take your bullshit story to the Homesteads? I'll bet they'd give you a warm reception.

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

 I could care less about your arrogance. The fact is that Kamehameha III was looking for protection from rapacious imperialists. Thanks for making my point. Hawaii was a strategic location and the U.S. ending up getting the prize. And why is the Union Jack on the Hawaiian flag?

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

Congratulations: You cited a historical fact that bears no relevance to what I said. 

Spark Masayuki Matsunaga
Spark Masayuki Matsunaga

You couldn't answer my question so you changed the subject. Kamehameha III was the first to push for annexation of Hawa'ii as a US state as early as 1849. It was the United States that turned him down more than once.

I am not a "tea partier" or a "tea bagger" either. I am just someone who knows that Hawaiian history is a lot more complicated than your black and white, "native" vs. "haole" fictional revisionist dystopian narrative.

John A. Burns
John A. Burns

They were HAWAIIANS of ALL ethncities, ALL colors, ALL races, and ALL religions. They were Native Hawaiians, Japanese Hawaiians, Chinese Hawaiians, Caucasian Hawaiians, and Hawaiians of all different mixed ancestry (like the current President of the United States). An overwhelming majority of every part of Hawaiian society voted for statehood in 1959. Saying otherwise is unfactual.

Calling Samuel Wilder King, a Governor of Hawa'ii with native ancestry, a "dead missionary descendant" is yet another example of your bankrupt anti-American, anti-Hawaiian revisionism. You tell a fraudulent tale that ignores the deep multicultural roots of Hawa'ii.

Hiram Fong
Hiram Fong

Your version of history is chickenshit.

Jonah Kuhio Kalaniana'ole introduced a Statehood Bill in the United States House of Representatives in 1919 where he served as a Delegate (as a Republican at that point too). 

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

So now you choose to impress us by posting under the name of Kamehameha III. Wow. Do you have the 'nads to post under your own name, Goober? You are just another tea bagger who wants to perpetuate the myth that his country can do no wrong and that anyone who says otherwise is un-American. You offer nothing to refute what I say. But you certainly DO talk a lot of shit. And by the way, one of the Thurston's - Lorrin P. - whose name you used instead of your own, was not supportive of statehood for many years. It is reactionary tea baggers such as yourself who rewrote history to absolve the haole aristocracy from their actions in usurping a legitimate government. Why don't you talk your shit in Waimanalo or Waianae or over on Molokai? They would light your ass up and piss you out.

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

 You lie - those were not Hawaiians - they were residents of the Territory of Hawaii. You are a fraud and continue to use the names of dead missionary descendants to impress yourself. Your version of history is no longer taught in Hawaii, Goober.

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

I am very familiar with the history of Hawaii. And your name above is fake as was your use of Lorrin Thurston. By the way, Goober, it's Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole Why don't YOU brush up on Hawaiian history? I have his portrait in my home as well as that of Liliu.Why don't you use Checkers and Pogo if you want to use fake names? They would be far more appropriate for the depth of your argument (note to New Times Readers: Checkers and Pogo = Wallace and Ladmo) You're not impressing anyone but yourself You say "it's more extensive" but you offer nothing in response but the names of dead people. That's lame and chickenshit.

Samuel Wilder King
Samuel Wilder King

94% of Hawaiians voted for statehood in 1959. A few years prior to the statehood vote over 120,000 Hawaiians signed a petition DEMANDING statehood. You are pushing typical anti-American, anti-Hawaiian revisionist history that selectively ignores the diversity and complexity of Hawa'ii's history.

Jonah Kuhio Kalaniana
Jonah Kuhio Kalaniana

The history of Hawaii is more extensive than that. It was never as simple as "haole" versus "native". Brush up on it.

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

 It is a word that means "foreigner" but is generally now used to describe a person of Caucasian, non-ethnic Hawaiian extraction. Technically, anyone of non-Hawaiian ethnicity is haole. The term "local" is generally used today to describe any non-"white" person from the islands. Hawaiian is reserved for persons of ethnic Hawaiian ancestry. My experience is that ethnic Hawaiians tend to be reserved around haoles until they know that you are aware of their history and respectful of their culture.

ExpertShot
ExpertShot

 Perhaps Obama could negotiate a treaty with the remnants of the Hawaiian Kingdom, part of which might be to allow President to become an honorary legal citizen of the Hawaiian Kingdom and therefore make the rebirth of the Kingdom whole.

ExpertShot
ExpertShot

 Does "haole" mean immigrant?  Is there, or was there, a way in which the Kingdom of Hawaii allowed a person not of the Hawaiian Island could "legally" immigrate there prior to the coup?

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

If this is indeed a relative of Lorrin Thurston posting here he is a descendant of and an unrepentant apologist for, the missionary descendants of 1893 who committed treason against their own country with the help of U.S. minister John Stevens and the bluejackets off the U.S.S. Boston. The haole sugar planters and business owners wanted favorable sugar tariffs and eventual annexation by the U.S. as well as the end to the misrule that they perceived by the natives. The U.S. wanted Pearl Harbor as a coaling station and base. The Hawaiians just wanted to live and let live. Thurston can say what he wants but there was no justification for the treasonous act the missionary descendants took part in. I'd like to see him go to one of the Hawaiian Homesteads and spout off his nonsense. He wouldn't have the 'nads to do it. Those blalahs would give him one false crack. The haole missionaries were arrogant in their puritanical self-righteousness and their descendants were greedy reactionaries who made tons of money off cheap immigrant agricultural labor. The U.S. committed an act of aggression - gunboat diplomacy - against a peaceful neighbor with which it supposedly had friendly relations. Native Hawaiians - of which Barack Obama, a haole, is not - are still overwhelmingly resentful of the coup and the subsequent U.S. annexation of their country. The suppression of the Hawaiian culture reached such absurd limits that, until the 1960s, the Hawaiian children who attended Kamehameha Schools were not even allowed to dance the hula standing up. They had to dance while kneeling because the hula was too lewd of a dance to be performed while standing. I'm not surprised that Castle & Cooke operate in Arizona - they were among the Big Five business interests in Hawaii that made lots of money off plantation labor and trading while keeping the islands as their own little incestuous fiefdom. Read "Nation Within" by Tom Coffman about the annexation - your jaw will drop when you find out how the U.S. conspired with the planters to steal the kingdom from the Hawaiian people.

ExpertShot
ExpertShot

 Thanks Mike - I have a very fond spot for indigenous cultures and the knowledge of 1,000s of years of experience with plants and animals in the ecosystems of tribal areas which have been lost due to the unthoughtful and greedy assumption of the lands by monothestic religious/government/corporate conglomerates.  We are now finding out and rediscovering what millions of humans already knew - the planet is a living system of inter-related and synergistic biological systems.  Learning how to and living in balance with those systems should be our goal. 

The fact that a Native Hawaiian is in the highest office of the country that invaded that tiny nation in 1893 should be a lesson learned.  Don't Fugk with Hawaii! Or Vietnam! Or Ganada! Or Iraq! Or Afghanistan! or anywhere else where there is an indigenous culture which has the knowledge of and commitment to the land on which they derive their sustenance.  Even the greatest nation will be defeated!

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