Arizona's "Birther Bill" is Back (Sans Penis Provision)

Categories: Birthers (sigh)
birtherbozos.jpg
It's baaaaack!

Remember last year when the Arizona Legislature passed the infamous "Birther Bill?" And then Governor Jan Brewer -- in a rare moment of sanity -- vetoed it? Well, an amended version of the bill is heading to the Legislature -- compliments of Republican state Representative Carl Seel.

In case you forgot, the bill was based on the continuously debunked, far-right-wing-nut conspiracy theory that President Barack Obama is not a U.S. citizen, and therefor not eligible to be president.

As nutty as a piece of legislation that's based on a conspiracy theory may sound, one provision in particular made it too whacky for even Brewer to sign -- one of the provisions included in the bill by GOP lawmakers could have forced presidential candidates to provide written documentation describing what their penises look like before their name would be allowed on the ballot in the "Colt Single-Action Army Revolver State."

Read all about it here.

Brewer had the sense to veto the bill last year, noting that she "never imagined" she'd be handed a bill that could have required a candidate to provide a written description of his penis.

Seel's new bill is a watered-down, penis-free version of the original -- yet, it's equally humiliating.

Attempts to reach Seel this morning were unsuccessful. However, he explained his new bill to the Arizona Capitol Times last week.

From the Capitol Times:

Seel's solution is to simplify the bill so that a candidate would only be required to sign, under penalty of perjury, an affidavit swearing that he or she meets the qualifications for the office, including their citizenship. If citizens were to question whether the candidate was qualified, Seel's bill would state that the citizen would have standing to file suit against the candidate.

"It's simply making sure the citizenry is equipped to enforce their Constitution," Seel said, noting that lawsuits in other states have been thrown out for a lack of standing.

Just to be clear, being a U.S. citizen already is a federal requirement to be president -- so the bill's essentially useless. Regardless, our lawmakers are getting paid to discuss a bill that's in response to a continuously debunked conspiracy theory...again.


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37 comments
Vernon Malcom
Vernon Malcom

Now that the anti-science, superstition-based initiative presidency is over, we need Manhattan projects to boost us out of this Grotesque Depression. First provide free advertising-based wimax wireless internet to everyone to end land line monopolies. Renationalize the telephone companies like 1917, and the DTV fiasco and internet under a renationalized post office.  It's not enough to make Boston-NY-Washington high speed, we need to connect the Boston end to Pittsburgh, Chicago and Minneapolis and the Washington end to Charlotte, Birmingham and Texas. Because bovine flatulence is the major source of greenhouse gases, we must develop home growable microbes to provide all of our protein. We must finally join the metric system and take advantage of DTV problems to create a unified global standard for television and cellular instead of this Anglo Saxon competitive waste. We must address that most illness starts from behavior, especially parents. Since paranoid schizophrenia is the cause of racism, bigotry, homelessness, terrorism, ignorance, exploitation and criminality, we must provide put the appropriate medications, like lithium, in the water supply and require dangerous wingnuts who refuse free mental health care to be implanted with drug release devices. Churches should be licensed to reduce supersition and all clergy dealing with small children should be psychiatrically monitored to prevent molesting. We need to psychiatrically regulate the preachers and teachers that produce these creatures. Osama bin Laden and Timothy McVeigh were the ultimate superstition based initiatives. Folks wouldn't have to go to bigoted superstitious gatherings like churches if labor unions had more family dances, afterschool activities and even owned sports teams to build loyalty! Aborting future terrorists and sterilizing their parents is the most effective homeland security. Pregnancy is a selfish, environmentally destructive act and must be punished, not rewarded with benefits, preference and leave. Widen navigation straits (Gibraltar, Suez, Malacca, Danube, Panama, Hellespont) with deep nukes to prevent war. To fund this we must nationalize the entire financial, electrical and transportation system and extinguish the silly feudal notion that each industry should be regulated by its peers. Technology mandates a transformation of tax subsidies from feudal forecloseable debt to risk sharing equity. Real estate and insurance, the engines of feudalism, must be brought under the Federal Reserve so we may replace all buildings with hazardous materials to provide public works.  Collectors, bounty hunters and private investigators are mercenaries operating on the edge of the law. Insects, flooding and fire spread asbestos, lead and mold which prematurely disables the disadvantaged. Disposable manufactured housing assures children are not prematurely disabled and disadvantaged. The only reason one engages in atomistic, sheflish small business is to avoid rules. Even Milton Friedman showed that small business creating jobs is unprovable because of survival bias (J Eco Lit, Vol. 30, No. 4, pp. 2129-2132). In today's complex New Industrial State (J K Galbraith), you do a better job if you are a large contractor because you have all kinds of compliance controls in place and superior information than if you are on you own.  Because feudalism is the threat to progress everywhere, we must abolish large land holdings by farmers, foresters or religions and instead make all such large landholding part of the forest service so our trees may diminish greenhouse gases. Darwin led to the worst colonial, militarist, atrocity and stock market abuses in history - Lamarkian inheritance and mitochondrial DNA show that Darwin was not all he is crackered up to be. We must abolish executive pay and make sure all employees in a company are all paid equally. We must abolish this exploitative idea of trade and monopoly and make every manufactured disposable cottage self sufficient through the microbes we invent.   

Marcy
Marcy

Carl "Potato Head" Seel is a blithering idiot.

Roro
Roro

The Democrats aren't going to carry Arizona anyway, so why bother to get on the ballot in the first place? It's just a waste of time and money.

Guest
Guest

 Another run at this IS a waste of time, and money - that we don't really have for this nonsense.
 Is Barry a U.S. Citizen? Since his mother was then of course he is. Is Barry a "Natural Born" Citizen? Here's were it gets murky; Most constitutional adherents describe this as a person born to 2 U.S. Citizen parents, of which Barry was not, add the fact that his dad was a British National who lost his bid to stay in the U.S., and his step father, Mr. Soetoro, was an Indonesian National who adopted young Barry so he could go to school there.
 With a social security number that does not match his name, or place of residence, two obviously falsified birth documents, and the hiding of ALL his records at Occidental College, medical records, etc., etc., any sane human would question if there's nothing to hide then why is he trying so hard to hide the info? Last I heard it was more than 2 million dollars of his own cash to fight the court cases. Nobody spends that kind of money unless there's something there.
 Does it matter? Not no more. Next fall this fake bastard with all his hope'n & change'n will have to peddle his nonsense somewhere else. He lied his ass off about the wars & gitmo & wall streeters to get elected - it won't work this time. The ONLY thing he & his fatcat cronnies have to rely on is the race card, and I'm pretty sure the majority won't fall for it.
 I don't know the answer, another gop shit for brains like Newt sure as hell ain't gonna happen, but neither will this lying mf we have now. I wonder what Dr. Paul would say about Az. wasting time on this foolishness?

Ed
Ed

I think the birther bill is proper.  It does not matter that President Obama is or is not a U.S. Citizen.  The fact is that there are scores of people who believe his past is filled with sordid details that call his citizenship into question.  There is a large segment of the populus that already calls his eligibility into question.  While yes -- being a U.S. citizen is already a requirement to be president -- proving it is not necessarily a requirement.  Merely stating something is so does not necessarily make it so.  SO to restore the public's faith (or at least that segment of the population) into the electoral process, to avoid the appearance of impropriety (regardless of whether it exists or not) -- simply to ensure that the process not only is fair but also appears proper -- why shouldn't there be a birther bill?  Its already part of the constitution, there is simply to mechanism to properly verify it in the election process. 

Quarterpounder
Quarterpounder

These Repubs crossed the Rubicon long ago. Every last one of them ought to be locked up and their families forced to work in the fast food industry.

Jason
Jason

I remember Congress passing a bill that specifically stated that President Obama is indeed a citizen. Apparently Seel hasn't heard. 

Carl Seel should be booted out come November. He is a disgrace and a failure.

wtf
wtf

Once again!.... no wonder why normal people think Arizona is nuts!...Thank your local Tea Party chapter for this bill...

Jason Cox
Jason Cox

Sweet jesus... we're being led around by tards 

Wanumba
Wanumba

Morons.  Dipshits,and wastes of carbon, all of em.

Mikey1969
Mikey1969

Really? The Penis Provision is all that sunk this the FIRST time? Wow...

"If citizens were to question whether the candidate was qualified, Seel's bill would state that the citizen would have standing to file suit against the candidate."

I bet they forgot the provision where the candidate(Or the government) gets to sue back for the cost of this, time lost, possibly an election lost, defamation of character, etc... I bet these rocket scientists never thought about a provision to stop people from sabotaging candidates just for the damage, or to prevent general nuisance/stalker behavior either. Nope, they just saw 'penis' and went for it. When that got shot dowmn, they removed said penis, and went for it again...

Arizona, making Utah politicians look sane at least 50% of the time since 1912...

Ross
Ross

When can we sue Carl Seel to make him prove he's a citizen?

Scypher
Scypher

I think its funny how the GOP in 2003 were pushing for an amendment to allow a foreign
Born citizen to become president(back when Arnold Swarzeneggar was Calif.governor,) I wonder how many of these birthers were on that bandwagon?

Sjg
Sjg

It is kind of snowing a little bit in Portland today.  But I am still so glad I moved the heck out of that nuthouse you call Arizona.  I left it all without turning back, my "great paying job," my underwater house, my friendly "neighbors" and of course all of the wonderful GOPs running the place.  Good luck in hell, you sure are living there.

Theoldman
Theoldman

Ya know, some days it is tough to get your name in the press.    I guess Seel couldn't think of anything original to get his name on the BACK page. 
And just a question, is Seel part of the top notch investigative team that Arpaio has looking into Obama's birth certificate?     Seems like Seel should be involved in that crazy stunt too.

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

Seel said ""It's simply making sure the citizenry is equipped to enforce their
Constitution,"

Are you shttin' me? The citizenry in Arizona isn't equipped to read the constitution, much less enforce it.

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

And just how many jobs will this bill create?

Other than for comedians.

Cybercy
Cybercy

What if the candidate is a female?  Be kinda of hard to describe her penis!

Johnson
Johnson

What ever happened to unbiased news reporting? 

Glue Sniff Cult
Glue Sniff Cult

Wow, another idiot white trash moron.  You people are so fucking dumb.  Every last talking point you have is right wing junk, with no grounding in reality.

No wonder you're a mechanic, probably too fucking stupid to graduate 8th grade.

Glue Sniff Cult
Glue Sniff Cult

Who cares if scores of idiot teabaggers and racists and rednecks and Fox News Droolers think Obama isn't a citizen?  They are morons who still cannot get over the fact that the black guy beat McCain, plain and simple.  Their 'concerns' have zero merit.  These people are delusional idiots who listen to talk radio for their news.  Besides, if you can produce just a shred of evidence to bolster your notion that Obama isn't a citizen, then have at it.
There's a reason you birthers and your lawsuits always get tossed, because they are junk with no grounding in reality. 

PTCGAZ
PTCGAZ

I also remember Hawaii announcing that when Obama was born there it was a part of America, and not Kenya.

Jenna
Jenna

Or make him drop his pants and prove he meets his manly man requirements.

PTCGAZ
PTCGAZ

ALL of them. Since the Govenator was exactly what we needed. *sarcasm for you idiots that don't get that* (Looking at YPS for that one)

PTCGAZ
PTCGAZ

lol If I could enforce the Constitution the first thing I would do is Arrest Sheriff JOKE!

PTCGAZ
PTCGAZ

well I suppose some poor bastard would have to read the written reports of the peni and then look at the candidates peni and see if they match. (I am thinking they could get a girl on Van Buren to do this for about $35.

Michael Bauser
Michael Bauser

It's the Arizona legislature. Half of them probably still think it's illegal for a woman to be President.

Just Another Rider
Just Another Rider

 she can always use or have a strap on dildo to make it all legal.

Jenna
Jenna

How, exactly, can news be biased when reporting on birthers? Birther's point of view is pretty obvious in their words and actions. If it is reported exactly as is, where is the bias?

david saint
david saint

good question, ask Faux news that...

Jenna
Jenna

What a thought. Rightie women will get large adam's apple implants so they can be just like Ann.

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