Joe Arpaio's PR Puppy in You Write the Caption

ARPAIOPUPPY.jpg
Your Caption Here
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's having a rough week -- Department of Justice investigations, botched sex-crime investigations, etc.

To celebrate Arpaio's comeuppance, we're goin' with the above photo of America's self-proclaimed "toughest sheriff" cozyin' up to his PR puppy for this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.

If you missed our post on the sheriff shamelessly using a puppy to deflect questions about botched sex-crime investigations, click here.

Here's how you play You Write the Caption: We show you a picture (above) and you -- in the comment section of this post -- write what you think would be an appropriate caption.

On Monday, we'll announce the top-five reader captions and put them to a vote. The winner will receive a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building for a firm handshake and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix municipal tap water.

Do your worst, New Times readers
-- and, as always, let's keep the death threats to a minimum.

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85 comments
Ann
Ann

I love to write captions to pet phots but this is one time I'll refrain.  Why is it we can't be supportive of our law enforcement officials? The job is dangerous, tireless &, apparently, thankless. They're human; not all of their choices/actions will be perfect.  To paraphrase one of our Presidents, " You can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time".

maybe368
maybe368

Since when should we support a criminal lawman. Look at what he does, not at what he says, he is nothing but a pandering elected politician, who's goal is to be reelected, not enforce the law. We need to make ALL law enforcement a professional position. Wake up, please...

Yourproductsucks
Yourproductsucks

This puppy's bite affects me as much as the DoJ's bark!

 Sonia H.
Sonia H.

First off, I wanna say that all you f***s are retarded for defending illegal aliens over your own race. If you're against sv1070 and sheriff Joe, then you're all for having to be single and pregnant if you want ahcccs, white citizens losing instate tuition, ugly neighborhoods, 7 people in a 2 bedroom household, your kids getting influenced in all the wrong ways, for christ sakes there are billboards in f*****g spanish in America because they're too dumb and lazy to learn english! They don't even deserve to get the m or s capitalized in mexican or spanish! They are sucking the economy dry! There will come a day where your children, grand children etc are going to be required to take spanish in high school. Anyone who defends them ("the offended," as I like to call them) is basically saying they're anti-American! All the Americans who stick up for them and are against sv1070 should get deported along with them! If there's any mexicans on here, you are so f*****g lucky that we have a constitution that no longer applies to our current day generation. Because you come here illegally and have your kids here where they're automatically a citizen and then their parents can stay as well as everyone born on this soil is unfair!!! Your lucky you have sheriff Joe, I would add amendments to the constitution and deport everyone who had children here illegally along with their "new citizen children," and anyone who's caught crossing I would have patrol shoot them on sight, as well as the water jugs out there. I absolutely love sheriff Joe and I'm thankful that my conservative father contributed 133, 000 dollars to his campaign. I would absolutely make sure that no filthy mexican can ever cross into our country again. Also thank your president cause as president I would also decimate their numbers once back in mexico so they would never be able to threaten our population in the future!!! Hope all you mexicants can read that, you might need a translator.

                                                                                  Soni                                 

Mark halgirmson
Mark halgirmson

yes, it is true he has siberian bloodlines but i swear he was born in this country!

Susan Rastella
Susan Rastella

"Poor investigative techniques you accuse me of?" said Sheriff Arpaio.  "Here's a good example of what an investigation can reveal. This cute, adorable, puppy was dropped off at the animal shelter.  No one knew his identity.  We fingerprinted his paws, ran them through the database and found out that he is a Siberian Husky."  Joe continued with, "No, we have not checked to see if he is a citizen, or an illegal Russian because the damned DHS pulled our 287 authority."  "If found, it's back to the tundra for him" the sheriff said in his final remarks.  Just shows you how he is NOT racially biased, he can't tell the difference between and person and a dog; so how could he possibly see the color of their skin (especially with those bloodshot eyes and red veins popping out of his nose).  

asuchick
asuchick

NOW LOOK! This puppy does not speak english. So I'm sending it back to Mexico whether you like it or NOT!

US War Veteran
US War Veteran

Listen to me!  I am the "Toughest Sheriff in America", if the Feds do not back off from investigating me I will show them how though I am by chocking this puppy I named President Obama until is his dead, dead, dead!

Gerry_C
Gerry_C

Joe Arpaio exploits yet another animal each time the heat turns up.  After a full cycle of immigration sweeps and death threats on his life, Arpaio will exploit another one.

Joe Mamma
Joe Mamma

Hey shouldn't we get that dog from Taco Bell instead of this husky, it will show the DOJ that I like Brown People.

wherewasi
wherewasi

This Shurf does NOT 'scriminate! See this puppy? He's a Serbian Huffy.  He's from Serbia and that's in Russia.  We've hated the damn Russians since they bombed Pearl Harbor.  But am I abusing this puppy?  No!  No, I am NOT!  And I don't recall there being a puppy involved when my guys burned down that house a while back.  No sir-ee!

Coz
Coz

Thats good !

Mistalee
Mistalee

Signaling exactly how embattled and desperate he truly is, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is shown here attempting to recycle Richard Nixon's "Checkers" speech.

Mrmike44
Mrmike44

Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an a*****e

Not Surprised
Not Surprised

The puppy is thinking..."wonder if I could teach this old buzzard to roll over and play dead?

Car_del99
Car_del99

His name is....Montgomery..and he's my lap dog..

Coz
Coz

Hurry up and take the picture so I can throw this Mexican back in tent city...Oh what ?.....wrong photo opp...which one is this for ?...I can't recall.

Guest
Guest

Sheriff Paul told me Hold her, the buck stop with him. I just don't get it. But, Paul trained her well in licking, so who cares about the sex crimes. I have the best puppy here.

Anon
Anon

Caption:  "Pure Evil" a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Anon
Anon

FB Stauffer: "We received news from an inside source that a Latino inmate at the 4th Avenue Jail is brain dead due to excessive force by detention officers. (posted one hour ago)"

DPSnAZ
DPSnAZ

Confirmed. Looks like a new pile of trouble for the Shurf.

Coz
Coz

...and the killings continue...

Gerry_C
Gerry_C

-- and, as always, let's keep the death threats to a minimum.  Actually, I think that Arpaio will claim about five more death threats complete with bounties and lots of sympathy words.

Gerry_C
Gerry_C

Stop asking questions!  Your are going to upset the puppy!

PTCGAZ
PTCGAZ

Meanwhile as The Joke continues to blab on the puppy thinks, "I have really been a bad dog and have died and gone to hell"

heymo
heymo

holy shit Batman you are giving me fleas ..please put me down Batman you smell like a donkeys ass

smh6669
smh6669

I hope you federal bastards are happy. Ya won't let me bust Mexicans, so now I spend all my time fingering puppy butt for contraband before locking 'em up at 4th. Ave.

woefatcat
woefatcat

"This dog here is neutered. He is also the face of my new Unit: the Illegal Immigrant Castration Unit. Before we send them back across the border we make for certain that they will no longer be able to drop anchor babies." "What's that? His name? He doesn't have one yet. I was thinking of a contest amongst the inmates to name him."

One puppy one pussy
One puppy one pussy

"See, Jack (McIntyre) and I have been doing these dog and pony shows since Obama was in Kenyan diapers and Holder and his army of Washington lawyers were sucking their thumbs and since I was having empathy for Mexicans while I was working for the DEA and... what the hell was my point again, Jack?  You said a lot of this a lot more eloquently than I could anyway, and weren't you an attorney before you were my lap dog, and what was my point again?  Hey, where'd my pony go?  Oh yeah, this is a day that will live in infamy in this country's... (mercifully dragged away by his PR flacks)"

Trommy Themulus
Trommy Themulus

If you so called humans would all just Do As I Say, I'd love you like I love this puppy!

Jason
Jason

Leave me alone!! Can't you see that I'm holding a puppy for God's sake?!?

Gwmwllc
Gwmwllc

Sherrif Joe is one of a few law enforcement individuals who understands a simple fact: "illegal immigrant" = an individual who is not in the United States legally. Being that the "illegal immigrant" has broken our  (and Barrack Hussien Obwama's) Federal Immigration Laws and entered the United States through illegal means, he / she is subject to a crime and as such, he / she is subject to deportation. Is that difficult to understand?

PTCGAZ
PTCGAZ

you realize that the most common punishment for being here illegally is a fine right?

Mario
Mario

What is the punishment for being a dumbass

US War Veteran
US War Veteran

There are a lot of punishments life hands out for being a dumbass so it would be hard to answer your question, I will tell you this though, the punishment for being a dumbass cop is to work for a corrupt, incompetent clown that cares more about being a politician than a Sheriff like the pig pictured above next to the puppy.

PTCGAZ
PTCGAZ

who is the dumbass? apparently you and your butt buddy? up there?

DPSnAZ
DPSnAZ

You spew your uninformed trash on every post, don't you?

maybe368
maybe368

That caption makes no sense...

Gizzard
Gizzard

I don't know what breed it is, and I don't recall if it has papers or not.......look a fly!!!!

Shooter McGaven
Shooter McGaven

'Listen- if you don't get a boner because I like puppies, may I remind you I have tanks, Blackhawks and all kinds of shit I don't need."

RetiredArmy
RetiredArmy

What do the dog and Joe have in common? They are both starting to smell like a bitch in heat.

Mario
Mario

Nobody's Gonna sexually abuse this puppy........??well

Dread96821
Dread96821

"We are training these new K-9's to sniff out corruption in the MCSO so we can erradicate rogue elements in this department, and oh- wait minute, looks like we have alerted on a crooked cop, uuum, oh no wait there must be a mistake, uhhh, I don't recall I don't recall oh shit, can we get a do-over on this press conference? Umm we'll be right back....

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

After being held by Arpaio, the puppy, in a semiconcious state, was rushed to the Vet. As he was carried away, he was heard to mutter something about "the stench"

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

Puppy---If I drag my ass on the carpet, will this big greasy turd come loose?

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