Best Reader Caption For Photo of Arizona's Machine Gun Christmas?

santagun.jpg
Scottsdale Gun Club
Your Caption Here
Last week, in honor of the Scottsdale Gun Club's celebrating the holidays by giving people the chance to have holiday photos taken of their children holding machine guns, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for an appropriate caption for the above photo for this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest.

We had 40 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.

We've narrowed it down to five finalists, but only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.

The finalists are as follows:

A) Ross with the following:

"'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, we had offed every mouse. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Grabbing my Uzi, I took careful aim, what a rush, it was, to kill flying game. Die, Dasher! Die, Dancer! Die, Prancer and Vixen! Die, Comet! Die, Cupid! Bye bye, Donner and Blitzen! As I drew in my head, and was turning around, down the chimney some illegal came with a bound.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I shot him, in spite of myself! A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know that he soon would be dead. I heard him exclaim, while I watched him expire, 'but Arpaio assured me, you'd hold your fire!"

B) Maybe368 with "This is the last time this guy calls my wife a Ho..."

C) MGH with "I know what you're thinking... Did he deliver six presents or only five?"

D) Mrs Claus is a Ho! with "Li'l Jimmy smiled for the camera right before he put a cap in Santa's fat ass for placing 'effing' coal in his stocking, knocking his Mom up and eating all the cookies last year!"

E) C Murphy Hebert with "You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out!"

Cast your vote below.




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17 comments
ObservantFeller
ObservantFeller

Damn, that is some fine hardware on display.... I would love to let 'er rip out on the range. Or, from inside a helo while I pretend I'm on patrol over 'Nam.... bbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbb..... NVA all around.... Give me artillary at 7 niner 4 echo bbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbb we've be hit! We're going down.... Xray zebra 4 2.... Oh hey got carried away there....

Future Thugs
Future Thugs

I should shoot and kill Santa for being such an over weight unshaven bearded hippie/biker slob who abuses and uses elves as slave ship workers to make cheap toys all year while he only works 1 day a year then takes a ride on his biker sled around the world and gets all the glory!

Wiki Wiki
Wiki Wiki

quick shoot and kill your dad while you have a chance!

Pistola in my Hand
Pistola in my Hand

That gun felt good in my hand, the pistol is the devils right hand.

Future Thugs
Future Thugs

Future Redneck Biker Gang Hells Angels MC Arizona members in the making as kids. this is where and how that kind of lifestyle all starts. yea I know I know its all innocent fun. thats what you think. they all gotta start somewhere in life.

Future Thugs
Future Thugs

 More Future Hells Angels story's in the making for James King to post when he is  old and near retirement age when these kids grow up and become the new breed of Angels in Arizona.

Off The Hook
Off The Hook

wait till one of these snot nosed brat kids grows up to be a real gangsters commits crimes kills people deals drugs and then heads to prison for life for murder. he will then blame it on his childhood when he posed with Santa as a wannabee gangster and at that point in time in life is when the evil seed of violence was planted into these kids brain cells and  then watered. tomorrows violent hoods as seen in present times 2011. tune in to new times a few years from now to see their mugshots.

Off The Hook
Off The Hook

 I guess the Peace and Love that Jesus preached to us is out of the question this Christmas.teaching young kids that guns and violence and poser gangsters is now the new thing for Christmas.  This violent looking Christmas gimmick is further proof of the downward spiral of the USA and its  desperate ghetto bottom feeder people and the human race.

Tommy Collins
Tommy Collins

Ross has undeniably outdone himself this time. Nicely done!

Ross
Ross

I couldn't have said it better myself.

When there was no reader vote Monday (as foretold by the Friday story) I wondered if it was going to be decided by acclamation.

James King
James King

My apologies for the delay in voting, Ross. Things came up yesterday morning that required my attention. Your entry gets my vote, though. Well played, sir.

BANNED  IN 50 STATES
BANNED IN 50 STATES

 you better watch what you say about james king or he will get you banned from commenting on new times. things like james king is a spoiled spoon fed preppy mamas boy and is a known misanthropic are the types of things that get you banned from further commenting on new times. james does not like it when you pick on him or insult him. he is mentally weak.

MARGIE
MARGIE

 FOX 10s Linda Williams covered it and was there but no sign of big bad new times writer James King. its kinda sad when a man is out done by a female.

MESA 81
MESA 81

 James was sleeping late and took another Monday off. he was tired from not attending the Mesa Hells Angels toy run that he was invited to so he could do a story on the toy run on Sunday. James copped out again to help needy kids. when we do right no one remembers, when we do wrong no one forgets. this is where James breaks out his excuse roller deck to come up with an excuse of why he did attend Sundays HA Mesa toy run to help needy kids for Christmas toys and write a real story on it.

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