Herman Cain and Joe Arpaio in You Write the Caption

arpaiocain.jpg
James King
Your Caption Here
In honor of the sexual-harassment allegations against Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, we've opted to go with the above photo we snapped of Cain puckerin' up to Joe Arpaio's boo-tay for this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.

Cain, as you may know, is the current frontrunner in the GOP presidential primary. He's also accused of sexually harassing three women. Regardless of whether the allegations are true, we have faith that Cain's current dilemma can inspire some fantastic captions from our faithful readers.

Here's how you play You Write the Caption: We show you a picture (above) and you -- in the comment section of this post -- write what you think would be an appropriate caption.

On  Monday, we'll announce the top-five reader captions and put them to a vote. The winner will receive a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building for a firm handshake and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix municipal tap water.

Do your worst, New Times readers -- and let's try to keep things somewhat polite. In other words, keep the death threats/racist comments to a minimum (this includes "hey, where are the white women at?").
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44 comments
ernie13x
ernie13x

There damn well better be double cheese on those free pizzas! That's the only reason I'm doing this shit...OMG I wish he'd stop talking...

Patty
Patty

Sherriff Joe here can tell you how hard it is to remember details that happened years ago, now lets get back on program people.

Mistalee
Mistalee

ARPAIO: This can't be happening in the Great White State of Arizona. I'm being upstaged by a negro. I am SO pissed. I can't wait to get out of here and hassle some immigrants. Or maybe I'll "fat-paddle" Hendershott. The big whale cries like a baby when I fat-paddle him, it's fun.

Fairy Tales of Joe Arpaio
Fairy Tales of Joe Arpaio

Seldom does such greatness reveal itself.  The man behind me, Joe Arpaio, is such a man.  In  his years of law enforcement, he  has personally provided security to two popes,directed the investigation into the assasination of Abraham Lincoln, solved the Baby Lindbergh case and finally,  built the Great Wall of China.  I bring to you the man known internationally as Nickel Bag Joe - a man who is bothered by many and jeered by most.  I bring you....JOE ARPAIO.

Only in Arizona
Only in Arizona

Cain:  When Joe told me he was arresting Obama today for conspiracy, I was as nervous as a whore in Church. 

Arpaio:  Who's Obama?

InandOutinMaricopaCounty
InandOutinMaricopaCounty

Before I begin I need your attention.  The gentleman standing behind me was found wandering the streets and appears confused.  He's about 80,can't remember his name or where he lives, and has a tattoo that reads "SB1070" on his shaft.  If you can identify him, please call the Phoenix Police Department.  Now...enough about him, let's talk about me.

Mistalee
Mistalee

Pity whoever had to stretch the wrinkles out of it to read the tattoo.

InandOutinMaricopaCounty
InandOutinMaricopaCounty

"it's about time that law enforcement got as organized as organized crim -Rudolph Guiliani

InandOutinMaricopaCounty
InandOutinMaricopaCounty

...And I, Herman Cain, promise that, if elected, little Pee Wee Herman Arpaio will advise this president on matters of national sicuyrity (sic).  Pee Wee has written traffic tickets to Elvis Presley and is the brains behind the current effort to uncover the real birth certificate of Obama.   Get behind us today.  That's how Pee Wee likes it. 

My Pizza Sux!
My Pizza Sux!

Cain: I got 99 problems and the bitch is one!Arpaio: Do you see the size of his hands!

Wishmaster
Wishmaster

AND CAIN SAYS....I HAD SEX WITH WHAT??? HOW MUCH DID IT COST ME? OOPS!

Pecee69
Pecee69

come on Joe, I don't have my birth certificate with me

guest
guest

This is my brother from another mother.

Guppy
Guppy

What the hell is GREEN FRIED CHICKEN?

jcvance
jcvance

Are we going out for pizza after this?

Gerry_C
Gerry_C

By picturing Cain in a photo under the bold letters proclaiming Joe Arpaio, Sheriff, Mr. Arpaio has unwittingly endorsed Herman Cain for President and the practice of sexual harassment.  Arpaio now fears that his ass will not be licked by other Presidential candidates seeking his endorsement.

Little Ceasar's Sux
Little Ceasar's Sux

Cain: You see back in the day a man could just give a ho a five dollar Pizza  to grab a girl's titty.  Now you have make a special secret agreement and pay handsomely at the polls!

Joe: "How is it that this dark pizza selling clown can climb higher in the republican party than I, Lord Joe Arpaio"

Cracker
Cracker

Some of my best friends are white folks.

Arpaio Hater
Arpaio Hater

Joe thinking Oh my God its big!! he really did pull it out I better look away..Cain saying to the audience, See I told you, see for yourself its true what they say about us black men!!!

Ross
Ross

"Joe is feeling much better after the fecal transplant.  He helped me pack it firmly before I made the donation."

Rob
Rob

heh...too bad 'Foxy's' on leave, he'd love this view...

HollandDopes
HollandDopes

Cain: In fact, if I am nominated, I will choose Katt Williams as my running mate for vice president...and if y'all don't like it, y'all can go the F%#K back to Mexico!

Arpaio: (thinking to himself "Man, this guy's good!")

HollandDopes
HollandDopes

Anytime the state of Arizona needs Federal moneys, I'll have it right here for you....right here in my front pocket. In fact, go on Joe, reach in there and get you something to help you fight all them kidnappins y'all were tellin' me about. Nope, that's not a roll of quarters...keep lookin'

Guzzo
Guzzo

"You want a piece of me now?"

David Saint
David Saint

Joe seems to be thinking to himself "gosh i wish this guy would shut up so I can take my rightful place at the mic and be the center of attention..who does he think he is?"

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

Cain-------My pepperoni is thiisssss big!

Arpaio----And they call me senile.

Kpegjer94
Kpegjer94

ARPAIO:     that black loud mouth  SOB ......I`D LOVE TO CHECK HIS IMMIGRATION PAPERS ............and his birth certificate  too

Jason
Jason

Joe and Herman, two sick peas in a pod....

Nobody
Nobody

We gotta check this guys birth certificate.

Scypher
Scypher

I did not make any sexual advances to any women,but if making sexual advances to Joe is wrong,then I dont wanna be right!

Richard
Richard

Cain:  We need to silence those bitches. Dude, gimme your gun.

Stacy
Stacy

Cain:  I have a bigger package than Obama's packageArpaio:  Uhm.. I may have spaghetti, but I have big meat balls!

Lazik11
Lazik11

Gives a whole new meaning to Mr. Fox and Mr. Black

David Saint
David Saint

"i dont recall any settlement, but there was an arrangement"(whispers with mouth shut) "how was that joe?"just like I told you Herman, I dont recall works everytime". 

DG
DG

That's My Boy!

Philozopher
Philozopher

"What am I bid for this overused, out-of-date white guy?" 

William Blasingame
William Blasingame

And the Commies on the Left Have Nothing better too do .. Leave the man Alone. Try waking up and realize Joe has now pretty much told everyone obamas birth cert is fake. Otherwise he would not need to see the microfiche 

Mistalee
Mistalee

Much like your comment, the photo is a graphic example of stupidity in black and white.

BarbaraEspinosa
BarbaraEspinosa

Hey! I'll give you $35,000 I've got $35,000 do I hear $45,000 I've got $45,000 do I hear anymore..Going, going, gone to the third accuser for an undisclosed amount..

Eleanor
Eleanor

Joe, you're supposed to be in front of me so I can grab your ass when it's your turn to speak.  Dammit, Joe.

WhoKnows
WhoKnows

"I did NOT make sexual advances to this guy.  He'll tell you so!"

"Herman, all I can say is "I don't recall""

maybe368
maybe368

And then I reached around her to tag Joe in, man that was sweet!!! And she liked it...

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