Shaquille O'Neal Gets BlowJobian Treatment by New York Times

A friend just pointed out a little question-and-answer interview that the New York TImes published over the weekend with Shaquille O'Neal.

Shaquille O'Neal.jpg
The Big Thingamajig, back in the day

Here's the link for a quick look.

Note the following back and forth between the Big Guy and one Joe Brescia, who works for the Times and specializes in slowpitch softball (questions, that is):

"How is your law enforcement career going?"


I'm going to be running for undersheriff in Lake County, Fla."

"Is that the career you would have chosen if you did not play basketball?"


"I'd probably be an F.B.I. agent."


This is unintentionally funny stuff.

The recently retired (as a basketball player) future Hall of Famer was the recent subject of a twisted little tale we called Shaqzilla.

In part, it described how O'Neal somehow had become a fully sworn Tempe police detective during part of his stint with the Phoenix Suns a few years ago, and how he may have used his connections with the local cops to try to get dirt on a creepy crawler who'd been working for him as a computer technician.

An anecdote in the story tells you all you need to know about O'Neal the Cop:

"O'Neal also found time to become a reserve deputy for the Bedford County Sheriff's Office in central Virginia. Life in the rural county, dotted with tobacco farms, is far removed from that in Miami and Los Angeles.

In August 2006, a caravan of police in SWAT gear swooped down onto A.J. Nuckols' pumpkin farm there, including the largest man that the father of three had ever seen up close.

News accounts said Nuckols claimed that the cops shoved him up against his Ford truck and told him he was suspected of possessing child porn.

According to Nuckols' account, Shaquille O'Neal reached into Nuckols' pickup and yanked a rifle off the rack.

"We've got a gun!" he boomed.

"Are you Shaquille O'Neal?" Nuckols asked him.

"No," the self-described master of surveillance replied. "My name's Tony."

As it turns out, Nuckols was innocent.

The Bedford County sheriff later said his anti-child-porn unit had erred while tracing a computer address and sent the SWAT team to the wrong location."

We are fully aware of puff pieces and softball Q&A's and all that, having participated in one or two of them over our long and not-so-storied career.

But, come on...Not even a teeny-weeny follow-up question?



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I've been saying for years that the New York Times is a shitty liberal piece of shit rag. Why did it take you so long?


Shaq, Tom Ryff, Charles Cobbs, Ben Arrendondo..............I've seen these four all in the same room and the way the interact with each other.  I can confirm the "bond" these four have and so can many others. 

Speaking of Ben Arrendondo, I wonder if Shaq gave him any "favors" while he was in town playing for the Suns.

Not Tommysgurl
Not Tommysgurl

What a farce!!! Shaquille ONeil is not a cop let alone an under sheriff.  He is a piece of garbage that lacks any sort of ethics or morals.  Tommy Ryff's buddy.....publicly and privately. 


Tempe PD detective Shaq is a dumb shit as usual.  The under sheriff in Lake County, Florida is appointed by the sheriff.  


Considering the antics of one local law enforcement agency, maybe the term "Undersheriff" would be appropriate here.

Hellion from Tempe
Hellion from Tempe

That is all you and Tommy Collins can come up with regarding this story.   While that might be funny it isn't about is about his "friend" Tommy Ryff, Tempe Police Chief, douche bag. You can read about them both there. 

Shaq likes to brag that Tommy Ryff is his friend.  I think more than friends is accurate....I've seen them together. 

Tommy Collins
Tommy Collins

Yes, I think he was being literal. I think he might just very well be running for Under the Sheriff. Then they simply flip over....

Tommy Collins
Tommy Collins

I've never understood people who idolize sports figures, simply because they happen to be really athletic or very good at needlepoint, whatever.

I think Shaq probably has bamboozled his way around law enforcement and I would even venture to say he has taken advantage of some 'friendships' he has made along the way, including a stint with MCSO, as your may remember. He used the Flaccid Fool and the FF used him. It was a wonderful thing until Shaq made reference to someone using the dread N word, then it became the 'right thing to do' for the FF to 'fire' him, gaining some media attention from it.

I don't personally know anything about any relationship between Ryf and Shaq, but I would imagine Shaq could become Undersheriff if he so desired, by vote or appointment.

I hope this makes better sense than my lame joke...


Maybe he is a perv.

In Tempe the corruption trickles down and so there is no accountability.

You only get in trouble if you mess with Tommy Ryff.

Kinda like MCSO except on a smaller scale....but they all flow together when it comes to corruption in this state.

Tommy Collins
Tommy Collins

I'm really curious why Shaq felt he needed the perv software to search for porn. I'm even more curious why a detective would give such a tool to a part-timer, pretending to be a cop. Most cops have good intuition and that would have raised some serious red flags with most cops... Just saying....


Your joke was lame but it was probably pretty right on.  I will give you that much. 

I've met Shaq before .....he is one big fucking ugly goon. 

But hell what do I know.....not into fawning over celebrities. 

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