Joe Arpaio, Russell Pearce, and J.D. Hayworth in You Write the Caption

hell.jpg
J.D. Hayworth's Facebook page
You Write the Caption's pretty self-explanatory. Here's how you play: we show you a picture, like the one above of Senate President (for now) Russell Pearce, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, and former TV pitchman J.D. Hayworth, taken from ex-Congressman Hayworth's Facebook page.

You -- in the comment section of this post -- then write what you think would be an appropriate caption for the photo.

We've got a few suggestions, including "J.D....Russ...have either of you guys seen my pitchfork? The lake of fire is overflowing and I've gotta shove a pineapple up Hitler's ass in 20 minutes!" but we'd rather leave it up to you.

On Monday, we'll announce the top three reader captions and put them to a vote. The winner will receive a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building and a firm handshake (hard times).

Do your worst, New Times readers -- and let's try to keep things somewhat classy (a.k.a., let's keep the death threats to a minimum). 
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100 comments
Alfredo Moncayo
Alfredo Moncayo

All three have "Moctezumas Revenge" pushing on their faux leather belts!

Gilso
Gilso

An Arizona wind farm.

Stacy
Stacy

Three Assholes sucking in their gut.

bbird1
bbird1

What the fuck's that smell...hey Russ, I think pops just craped himself again,,,yea well it's your turn to clean his ass dipshit. Don't call me dipshit ass clown, where's the depends, sorry dipshit, we forgot'em...then let me use your candy ass red shirt to wipe his fat ass.

Where's Jan.......I wanna go back to the home.....I want my kool-aid.........zzzzz....

 

Mistalee
Mistalee

Where's JT Ready and the Hendershit? They're two men short for their fascist fat bastard chorus line. 

Ross
Ross

"We're just waiting by this 12-foot fence for Janet to show us her 13-foot ladder."

RetiredArmy
RetiredArmy

Gee thanks Russ for underfunding schools and health-care so we could pay for gas to drive 200 miles out of my jurisdiction for our campaign photo op.  

RetiredArmy
RetiredArmy

Wow look, Mexico built this fence just to keep us out. I wonder why?

Coz
Coz

It's OK Joe, just one more picture and we promise we'll get you back to the senior citizens center as fast as we can.

Coz
Coz

Damm Russ, JD....that Mexican I just ate made me look bloated.

wherewasi
wherewasi

Here's how it works.  The Mezzicans throw the corn over the wall.  Canadians pick it up and load it into back packs and walk it up to Phoenix.  They use Canadians cuz they don't LOOK illegal so no one bothers them walking through the desert with a back pack full of corn.  So anyways, they deliver the corn to the drop houses in exchange for loads of cash, and then carry the money back here and throw it over the wall...

RetiredArmy
RetiredArmy

It's great that we get to use tax payer funded automobiles and gas for our political campaign photos.

Jane
Jane

The photo for the next craigslist beastiality sting operation

Jane
Jane

3 shit-stained douchebags. Proof that illegals leave trash in desert.

guest
guest

"Where's Andy? I thought he was supposed to meet us here at the fence."

guest
guest

Where did you say we need to go to sign up for the biggest loser contest?

wherewasi
wherewasi

Uh...Russ?  J.D.?  That looks like a gun totin lunatic fringe leftist liberal up ahead thar.  Can you really calmly like look and see if this shurf has a red dot on his forehead?

just me
just me

Joe: "I hope one of you guys remembered the ginger root for later..........."

wherewasi
wherewasi

Holy Shit!  Wouldya lookit that!  I think it's that Louie Purrell fella in pink boxers and a DEA vest selling Girl Scout cookies to Hendershott.  I was wondering where Dave was!

wherewasi
wherewasi

"Dammit J.D.  Joe didn't say he wanted to lay the horse.  He said he wanted to STAY THE COURSE."

wherewasi
wherewasi

"Wouldn't it be awesome if the New Times used this picture of us for a funny caption contest?"

wherewasi
wherewasi

"Dammit Russ!  Stop talking about having sex with horses to get J.D. all riled up!  We're supposed to be looking for headless bodies in the desert!"

Mistalee
Mistalee

With Joe's gut sticking out like that and Pearce and JD being all cozy with him, the caption might read "We're not sure which one of us knocked joe up."

wherewasi
wherewasi

I shall do my best to rise to the challenge!

"Dammit J.D.!  Get your hand off my ass!  If you HAVE to touch me, put your hand on my SHOULDER like Russ is doing!"

Pit Boss
Pit Boss

Pearce: "SEIG HEIL!!!"Hayworth: "Come on, Russell, shut up! There are people around!"Pearce: "I mean CHEESE!"Arpaio: "I arrested Elvis once."

Gerry_C
Gerry_C

OK, thsi is fun.  I will shut up now.  maybe :)

Two and a half men?  too much credit?

Three half-men?

Gerry_C
Gerry_C

The Belly Patrol.

teknik1200
teknik1200

how long until RP passes out from sucking that thing in?

Gerry_C
Gerry_C

Racists-R-Us

oops, I forgot that AARPaio can't be a racist  because he has pink Spanish underwear.

crazybaldhead
crazybaldhead

From the look on his face, I'd have to quote Sherriff Joe. " You idiots, I drove 2 hours for a photo op? I knew no one was gonna show for a press conference in Cochise County "

RetiredArmy
RetiredArmy

The three heads of Cerberus wannabe's

20gauge
20gauge

"Are we about done here? These belts are about to cut us in half".

RetiredArmy
RetiredArmy

Braking News!!! Mexico finds three Fat Anglo Anchor Baby's trying to sneak in and escorts them back over the fence.

RetiredArmy
RetiredArmy

OK I'm having a hard time coming up with something with zing. What I want to know before I put to much effort into this between now and Monday is does the the winner get a glass of unchilled  Phoenix tap water with that hand shake? If so I'll put on my super duper thinking cap and come up with something better.

scobob
scobob

 I'm not sure J.D., I'll ask Joe. Hey joe what does pendejo mean?

David
David

Looks like J.T. Ready got some photography SKILLZ!

Tommy Collins
Tommy Collins

'It's hot out here. Let's go do a roundup in Mesa. It's cooler and a whole lot easier. Plus, it shows Mesa that I REALLY AM in charge'

Tommy Collins
Tommy Collins

'The shurf appears pregnant. Which of those two is the father?'

Pit Boss
Pit Boss

The one on his right with the big jugs.

Mistalee
Mistalee

Yeah, Pearce is really showing off his huge hairy he-hooters.

Jason
Jason

The Three Musketeers!!

Hey!! Where's Candy Andy and Aubuchon?!

Deniseaz
Deniseaz

UHH Joe , time to check your depends .

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