How to Avoid a Weinergate; Some Suggestions From the Mayor of Twitter-Town/Former AG Grant Woods

Categories: Laugh Track
Politicos: Listen to Grant Woods if you want to avoid headlines like these.
As "Weinergate 2011" enters day 11, there are now bipartisan calls for New York Congressman Anthony Weiner to resign. Given the congressman's current conundrum, former Arizona Attorney General/New Times-declared "Mayor of Twitter-Town" Grant Woods has some suggestions for other politicos who want to avoid a similar fate.

Weiner came clean about his wayward wiener on Monday, announcing that he'd had at least six inappropriate cyber-relationships with several women. He also copped to sending a picture of his junk to a 21-year-old college student from Washington state, despite having lied about it, claiming his Twitter account had been hacked.

Weiner's unfortunately phallic last name has only added to the entire spectacle.

Woods' hilarious "tweets" regarding fatsos, former TV pitchman J.D. Hayworth, vampires, and cream cheese, earned him the coveted Phoenix New Times "Best Twitterer" award last year, so we turned to him for some social media suggestions for other politicos who may be compelled to send pictures of their packages over the interwebs.

The former attorney general (who hasn't necessarily ruled out a run for the Senate seat being vacated by Senator Jon Kyl) offers the following advice:

1.  Don't text a photo of something closely associated with your last name (note to the great- granddaughters of Immanuel Kant).
2.  If you can't pick the right button to send a crotch shot to your sextmate rather than the whole world, you can never be President. Sorry all of North Africa, I meant to push the button for Tripoli only.  But I am really sorry.

3.  When you screw up, admit it. This wasn't that big of a deal, so to speak, until you went with the hackneyed response. We could have forgiven-and actually been grateful for an excuse to crank out all of the junior high "Weiner" jokes. But now, sadly, you just look like kind of a dick.

Yesterday, Woods "tweeted" a "PRIVATE" photo of his own -- which is why he is again the front-runner for this year's "Best Twitterer" honors. Check out Woods' "PRIVATE" photo here.

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"Weiner's unfortunately phallic last name has only added to the entire spectacle."

Only to an ignorant public.

This is a germanic surname. In German, "ei" is pronounced as a long "i" and "ie" is pronounced as a long "e." Thus, "wiener" is the Viennese sausage that is also slang for one's man part, but "Weiner" is pronounced like "whiner" and really doesn't have a phallic connotation.

Except maybe that Weiner is now a whiner over photos of his wiener.

Slaughter the Hells Angels
Slaughter the Hells Angels

 are you stalking me you punk? I beat you up in 1999 and I will do it again asshole. you know how and where to find me.

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