Gary Bahns Tells Cops He Planned to Sell Stolen Van to "a Mexican" So He Could Buy Meth

Gary Bahns
Gary Allen Bahns told Mesa police yesterday that he planned to sell the stolen van in which he was found sleeping and use the proceeds to buy crystal meth.

You might be thinking "it's 2011 -- who would buy a minivan?" If you ask Bahns, the answer's "a Mexican," that's who.

Bahns was arrested yesterday after the clerk at a Chevron gas station at 808 McKellips Road in Mesa saw him sleeping in the minivan as it sat parked in the store's parking lot about 7:30 a.m.

According to court documents obtained by New Times, the clerk woke him up and asked him to leave, which he did -- on foot, leaving the van behind.

Police arrived and determined the van had been stolen the previous day, so they watched it from across the street anticipating Bahns' return. He didn't disappoint.

Officers placed Bahns under arrest and read him his Miranda rights -- but Bahns had a story he wanted to tell the officers about his "friend Tom."

Bahns told police that he was instructed by his "friend Tom" to take the minivan to Mesa and wipe it down so no fingerprints would be found on it. He told them the two planned to "sell the vehicle to a Mexican."

Then, Bahns told the officers he planned to use the proceeds from the stolen minivan to buy crystal meth.

He was booked into a Maricopa County jail on one count of auto theft.

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With friends like "Tom", who needs enemies?

Johnny Skee Mask
Johnny Skee Mask

And his "friend Tom", is probably wondering where he's at.

Walter Concrete
Walter Concrete

And it was such a well thought out could it have gone wrong?


A comment about someone "making a box of rocks look like Einstein" would be appropriate.

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