Five Best Ways to Start an Arizona Forest Fire

Thumbnail image for Smokey_the_Bear_2.jpg
fortressofbaileytude.com
Don't be an idiot. Just pay attention to what Smokey says and everything will be alright.
Fire crews are having a hell of a time putting out the second largest forest fire in Arizona history, which is currently burning in eastern Arizona. So, naturally, we've made a list of the five best ways to start a forest fire in Arizona.
 

Last year over 1,500 wildfires damaged more than 85,000 acres of Arizona land, according to the Southwest Coordination Center, an agency that manages wildfire incidents.

About 1,000 of those fires were started by people, most likely those who didn't pay much attention to the endless Smokey the Bear presentations in elementary school.

Way to go.

"People just aren't being aware of their surroundings," Dolores Garcia, a fire mitigation expert for the Arizona office of the US Bureau of Land Management, tells New Times. "We have the saying that if you light a fire you better be prepared to put it out."

While the flames continue to scourge and the smoke continues to suffocate, officials continue to say the fire wreaking havoc across the east is "zero percent contained," which is really secret code for "zero percent under control."

And who can blame them; the fire's so large its smoke is reaching parts of Colorado, South Dakota, Iowa, Nebraska and Minnesota.

So, as firefighters from across the state fight like hell to put out the enormous blaze, below are the five best ways to start one, compliments of the USBLM:

5. Flat tires

Driving with a flat tire is never a good idea. But when the rim of the tire constantly rides the road, sparks fly and it's bye - bye Bambi.

4. Trailer Chains

Nothing says awesome family vacay like a wildfire and a fat citation from the park service.

Word to the wise: When you're hooking your trailer, RV, or boat to the back of your vehicle, make sure the chain is wrapped around the hitch properly and not dragging on the ground. Sparks from the chain can cause even the smallest fire to turn into a Smokey the Bear's night terror.

3. Pulling over a hot car to the side of the road

Unless you're Nicolas Cage, and therefore certified to walk away (preferably in slow motion) from massive explosions, don't pull your overheated car over to the grassy highway shoulder.

A fire could start and your car might blow up. Sorry.

2. Light a candle

Another common way to start a wildfire is the actual use of fire. Of all the places to use a candle, the forest isn't one of them. Forest experts point to anything from lanterns to Glade scented candles.

It's called fresh air for a reason, no need to add the suffocating sent of Creamy Custard and Blushing Apple to your camping trip.

1. Leave a campfire unattended

While it might seem like a no-brainer, this is one of the most common ways to start a fire Garcia says.

"People just aren't aware of their surrounding," she says. "People go to the port-o-potty and leave their campfire and then they come back and their tent's gone and their neighbor's tent is on fire."

So please, do the forest a favor and pee responsibly.

As a side note, Garcia did mention that beer can be a useful tool in putting out small fires. So, if you're getting your drink on in the woods, get your Smokey on as well and remember to keep a few cold ones handy just in case you set the forest on fire.


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20 comments
DIANABOL
DIANABOL

surely people are not dumb enough to drive around on their rims ?

Rick
Rick

Now that many fireworks are legal here in Arizona, we can expect idiots to set them off in the AZ forests this 4th of July and "accidentally" start more fires.  We can thank our useless state legislature for that!

Hells Angels Killer
Hells Angels Killer

Or call a Hells Angels member. they are known for arson. they call it the buy out bomb out burn out plan.

Mikey1969
Mikey1969

Seriously? Cigarette butts thrown out the window aren't anywhere on the list? Well, at least this strengthens the assertion that the BLM doesn't know what they're talking about. I'm sure cigarettes and fireworks(either one) cause more fires than candles, trailer chains, and overheated cars combined.

"Walter Concrete 4 minutes ago in reply to Mikey1969"

Amazing how a Homer Simpson avatar gets your panties in a bunch, it's a fictional character, seek counseling, you need definite help.

"Hells Angels Killer 14 minutes ago in reply to Mikey1969

you said that the other day, come up with some new funnier material man. your repeating yourself like you spinning your tire in red Georgia mud."

Hey, if the shoe fits and all that... I'm still unsure why the Homer icon makes you people all butt-hurt. Maybe it's because you have no ACTUAL platform to attack me on? Can't address the facts? Maybe that's it. Find someone with some debating skills, sell your lace riding panties to some truck driver after you let him ride you like a bull, and maybe you can hire someone do do your online debating FOR you...

Hells Angels Killer
Hells Angels Killer

 you said that the other day, come up with some new funnier material man. your repeating yourself like you spinning your tire in red Georgia mud.

Hells Angels Killer
Hells Angels Killer

Most of the idiots who start forest fires are those with no real camping/outdoor survival skills. These are city folks, who want to get away from city life for a bit. It is said that racist redneck inbreds, country folks and Native Americans have more respect for the woods, than do city people.

Hells Angels Killer
Hells Angels Killer

 Bobby Jack Wright of the Tucson Hells Angels is an Pima Indian so things are looking up. THE HELLS ANGELS WILL NOW BE SAFER ON THEIR CAMP OUTS. even though they stay in motels and some tepees.

Hells Angels Killer
Hells Angels Killer

 racist rednecks and inbreds have more respect for the woods? Hells Angels are racist redneck inbreds. are you saying they are really ok now? your starting to mellow out and are starting to like them I can tell. after all 3+ Hells Angels live in Scottsdale near you.

Hells Angels Killer
Hells Angels Killer

 Scottsdale campers are real outdoors men and im one of them so dont you forget it..

Walter Concrete
Walter Concrete

 Homer Simpson is a smoker. he throws cig butts out his car window on the Simpsons. and you know he is a real man. he is not a fake cartoon he is real.

Bruce
Bruce

Almost every major wildfire in Arizona in recent years has been started by careless people. We're facing a stark choice- either permanently ban fires and smoking in the national forests, or have our forests reduced to black sticks. That has already happened to Mount Lemmon, the Chiricahua Mountains, the Mazatzal Mountains, the east slopes of the San Francisco Peak, and the central third of the Mogollon Rim.

Walter Concrete
Walter Concrete

 yea ban fires and smoke that should solve the problem. the world can now be at rest finally. now what about crime and illegal immigrants? maybe ban the whole human race from life on earth? that might solve the problem to. or simply blame God or Satan for all this mess on earth. some people pray about it thinking that will solve the problem. either way we are all fucked until we are dead and gone from this earth and life. my advice is to get used to it and roll with the punches.

Walter Concrete
Walter Concrete

or start forest fires with a Bic lighter or 1 match stick and a can of gas or lighter fluid.

Walter Concrete
Walter Concrete

 or call Jared Laughner. if he was not in jail he would move on to a known Arizona firebug.

Hells Angels Killer
Hells Angels Killer

 He is another secret unknown Hells Angels member from the Tucson charter.

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