Beer Thief Offers to "Shoot the Locks Off" Cooler During Second Robbery Attempt of Morning

Pinal County Sheriff's Office
Lance Robin Ahasteen
Arizona's liquor laws dictate that people within the state's borders can't purchase alcohol between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. But they can still steal it -- or at least try to -- which is apparently the route a San Tan Valley man took on his quest to get sent back to prison.

According to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office, 24-year-old Lance Robin Ahasteen was arrested this morning after trying to rob beer from a Quick Trip convenience store in San Tan Valley. It was the same store from which he'd robbed two 40-ounce beers just hours earlier.

During the second robbery attempt, at about 3:45 a.m., Ahasteen again demanded beer, but the clerk told him the coolers were locked and he couldn't sell him any. Ahasteen then pulled out a gun and offered to help the clerk open the cooler.

"I will shoot the locks off," Ahasteen told the clerk.

The clerk asked Ahasteen if he was serious, which he apparently was -- he told the clerk he "had problems and wanted to go back to prison."

Ahasteen recently was released from the joint after serving time for a 2007 aggravated assault in Utah.

Ahasteen fled the store but was quickly met in the parking lot by PCSO deputies and arrested -- giving Sheriff Paul Babeu an opportunity to toot his rarely silent hornt.

"During the past two years, we have worked extremely hard to reduce emergency response times in all areas of Pinal County," Babeu says. "Emergency response times in many areas of the county have been cut nearly in half. The quick response times by deputies was key to taking this suspect into custody."

Ahasteen was booked into the Pinal County Detention Center on one count of armed robbery and one count of possession of a weapon by a prohibited possessor.

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State Raised Motherfucker
State Raised Motherfucker

As Sheriff Paul and Sheriff Joe are such sweethearts, Maybe the big P.B. could teach the world's poutiest sheriff the value of "quick response time" since Sheriff Jose's deputies are notorious for taking up to 18 minutes in responding to priority dispatches out in county. Oh, hell, why bother our busy superhero sheriff with such incidentals. Waste of his time

Ahasteen ? Poor guy is just another one of those "State Raised Motherfuckers" who've been in some sort of custodial environment for their entire existence and so they have no experience or acumen to skillfully navigate their way through the vicissitudes of life that most the rest of us suck up and deal with.They are the truly tragic ones of society. They will never own or drive a car. Have their own residence. Or even fuck a girl that they didn't find down on Van Buren and give up a 20 in advance for the time expended in filthy, sloppy sex. They are as afraid of the streets as you would be of going to prison. Prison is OK by them, where they are told what to do and when to do it. And if they're really lucky they can prove themselves cool by kicking the shit out of someone on the yard, and get awarded a political tat of their respective ethnic division, which comes with all sorts of prizes like shooting dope and having butt sex with one the girl/guys in the showers. Nice !!!I will at least respect Ahasteen for not hurting anyone in his efforts to return to custody. He knows what he is and he's accepted himself as such.For Ahasteen the next 7 years will be safe... and comfortable. He has no one in life; he has nothing in life but three little letters - D.O.C.

Good luck Lance...


"Emergency response times in many areas of the county have been cut nearly in half. The quick response times by deputies was key to taking this suspect into custody."

Glad they caught him. Though I'd be more impressed and his statement would carry a lot more weight....were he to have made it in response to the FIRST time the guy hit the place.

Native Guns
Native Guns

How long would it take for the joKKKer and his MCSO goons to respond, should that robber struck somewhere on a county island in MCSO jurisdiction? I have no doubt that the guy would certainly get away with a second robbery at the same location, under the "Flaccid Fool's" watch. Because his Deputy Dawgs are too busy pulling over a "Jose Mora" and checking his status while serious crimes are in progress.

Johnny Young Gunz
Johnny Young Gunz

I would like to think that Sheriff P-Baboon is a role model for his top mentor at the MCSO. Innocent lives are at risk under ar-pisso's immigration policies. Stopping a "Brown" folk on the road isn't exactly a high priority. So yeah you are right.

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