In Honor of Joe Arpaio's "Mugshot of the Day" Mess, New Times Presents: "Mouthless Meth Dealer Celebrity Mugshot Matchup"

mouthmug.jpg
Maricopa County Sheriff's Office
Alan John Shepard needs a jaw. Perhaps we can help him out.
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio recently unveiled a controversial contest on his website asking the general public to vote for their favorite mugshot of an alleged criminal who's been booked into one of the sheriff's jails -- the winner earning the coveted "Mugshot of the Day" honors.

As we've mentioned, the mugshot of the day contest does one thing: determine which criminal looks the stupidest/most strung out on meth/mentally ill before being booked into jail.

In other words, the sheriff is providing a public forum to mock his inmates, and experts in the mental health community recognize it as such.

"While we might risk advancing (Arpaio's) publicity component, I think it's critical that we try to get in the way of this and stop this kind of exploitative behavior - because that's exactly what it is," Charles "Chick" Arnold, a Phoenix attorney and longtime advocate for the mentally ill, told the Arizona Republic last week. "What he's doing seems to be to be exploiting people who have been defined in our state as vulnerable adults. That's offensive."

As we've also mentioned, we've got no problem with pointing out some of the more humorous aspects of an alleged criminal's mugshot. However, we consider it the job of a 41-year-old alternative weekly newspaper, not the job of the 78-year-old sheriff of one of the largest counties in the country.

In honor of the sheriff's new contest, and one of the more memorable mugshots to be featured on his website -- in which the alleged criminal appears to be missing a good portion of his face -- we present to you the "Mouthless Meth Dealer Celebrity Mugshot Matchup." Check it out after the jump.  

As you can see below, we've created our own contest based on some of the more infamous mugshots to grace the pages of Arpaio's website (and one local lunatic compliments of the U.S. Attorney's Office). The idea of the contest is to identify the jaw attached to the face of Alan John Shepard (pictured above) with the local celebrity criminal to which it belongs.

Feel free to leave your guesses in the comment section of this blog post, or email them -- and a link to this article -- to SheriffsMediaRequests@MCSO.Maricopa.gov and let the sheriff know how you feel about his new contest.

We'll reveal the identities of the celebrity mouths tomorrow afternoon.

Enjoy.

Mugshot 1:

Mug7.jpg
New Times photo illustration

Mugshot 2:
Mug2.jpg
New Times photo illustration

Mugshot 3:
Mug3.jpg
New Times photo illustration
Mugshot 4:
Mug4.jpg
New Times photo illustration


Mugshot 5:
Mug5.jpg
New Times photo illustration

Again, feel free to leave your guesses as to which celebrity jaw belongs to which local celebrity criminal in the comment section below. That, or whine about how cruel we are for having a little fun with a meth dealer's bizarre mugshot -- whichever you prefer. 

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17 comments
JesterJackson
JesterJackson

I think this is wrong. Very very funny but wrong.

Iny98
Iny98

I am absolutely sick that you guys ran this story! Not because of the horribly unfortunate deformity to this man, but because you think it's ok to make fun of someone in this condition. What sheriff joe (he doesn't even deserve to have his name capitalized) is doing is not right, but I expect that from him. I was shocked when I saw that you guys are just as bad. This is definitely going to change the way I think about your paper forever. You don't know this guy's story, you don't know that he didn't get into meth because of the depression he might have gone into because of his deformity. I would too, if I knew that the people that supposedly have the public's best interest at heart were the same people that were blatantly making fun of me.....in a public forum. Shame on you, James King! And shame on you NewTImes for allowing this story to be put online! I only hope that something horrific doesn't happen to me for the fear that I might be the next target of NewTimes.

ZachHenry
ZachHenry

I agree. I don't know if James King or the editors are to blame, but a change needs to be made somewhere.

Lindsay O'Lohan
Lindsay O'Lohan

Basically we've got Susan Brock, Half-head guy, Lil Wayne, Jared Loughner, and Mike Tyson.

James King
James King

Very, very close, Ms. O'Lohan. Very close.

Lindsay O'Lohan
Lindsay O'Lohan

Would the person in the mug misidentified as half-head guy happen to know the lyrics to Ruff Ryders Anthem?

ZachHenry
ZachHenry

Why would you stoop to this? The reason people are upset over Arpaio's mugshot competition is because it takes pleasure in belittling people who can't really defend themselves, many of whom are physically or mentally disabled. That's exactly what you are doing here. Disgusting. This is the type of thing you read NT to avoid.

Native Guns
Native Guns

I think the "Mouthless Meth-Head" could use a robotic metallic style jaw as seen in the Terminator movies. That would be pretty cool, do you think? Besides, its still a "celebrity" jaw courtesy of the former Gov. of Califa.

Mistalee
Mistalee

OK, I'm stumped.

The one thing I keep coming back to is if Alan John Shepard had buck teeth he'd make a fine bottle opener.

XSoldier
XSoldier

This has got to be the lowest story NT has ever published, either online or in print. The Flaccid Fool is a mentally deranged old fool, but I never thought a paper who so eloquintly bashed the Senile Spinster & his gang of SS goons would stoop as low as the MCSO shurf as to publicly humiliate and torment this guy over a disability and disfigurement.

Vivian
Vivian

At what point did you just run out of stories?

Christopher Patrick Lembke II
Christopher Patrick Lembke II

uhhhhm. sans mr jawless, they all pretty much look like the same person, just with different hair, and face decor.

James King
James King

uhhhhm...."The idea of the contest is to identify the jaw attached to the face of Alan John Shepard (pictured above) with the local celebrity criminal to which it belongs."

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