"Jon Kyl is One of Gaddafi's Sexy Female Ninja Guards," According to Stephen Colbert's Non-Factual Twitter-Town Crusade Against the Senator

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www.time.com
Stephen Colbert invented "truthiness." Senator Jon Kyl redefined lying as a remark that's "not intended to be a factual statement." Colbert for Senate 2012.
Stephen Colbert, the late-night dispenser of all things "truthiness," is continuing to wage war against Arizona Senator Jon Kyl over lies the senator told on the floor of the U.S. Senate last week, and his flabbergasting response after getting called on his BS.

To keep the heat on the lying fact-challenged U.S. senator, Colbert has decided "to celebrate Jon Kyl's groundbreaking excuseplanation last night by tweeting around the clock non-facts about him," which he's done 'round the clock and under the hashtag "#NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

As we mentioned yesterday, Kyl apparently thought it was fine to just make up "facts" about Planned Parenthood's abortion numbers and spout them on the floor of the Senate to push his pro-life agenda.

"Everybody goes to clinics, to hospitals, to doctors, and so on. Some people go to Planned Parenthood. But you don't have to go to Planned Parenthood to get your cholesterol or your blood pressure checked. If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that's well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does," the senator crowed.

As Politifact is quick to point out, only 3 percent of the services Planned Parenthood provides are "abortion related."

Once caught in his lie, Kyl's office responded by saying the senator's remark "was not intended to be a factual statement but rather to illustrate that Planned Parenthood, an organization that receives millions in taxpayer dollars, does subsidize abortions." 

In other words, Kyl's trying to redefine lying -- and Colbert's having a ball with it by relentlessly tweeting things about Kyl that are "not intended to be a factual statement."

See some of Colbert's non-factual statements about Kyl below:

-Jon Kyl bought a SodaStream so he could drink *carbonated* tears of the poor.

-Jon Kyl is the only person who can sneeze with his penis. He calls it a "sneenis."

-Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies.

-Jon Kyl has the world's most extensive catalogue of snuff films.

-Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii.

-Jon Kyl calls all Asians "Neil" no matter what their name is.
As Colbert points out, by Kyl's logic, all of those statements would be libelous if he weren't to  include the hashtag "this is not intended to be a factual statement."

Colbert's Kyl-bashing has taken on a Chuck Norris-esque life of its own. Check it out here -- and feel free to leave any non-facts you may know about Kyl in the comment section of this blog post.


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12 comments
Thishereguitar
Thishereguitar

Jon Kyl's lies about Planned Parenthood are part of a carefully-plotted effort to achieve the Presidency of the United States in 2016. (Not a Factual Statement. Unless It Is.)

Jude Shehadi
Jude Shehadi

John Kyl bit the head of a democrat to announce his preisdential exploration committee.

TomJx
TomJx

Jon Kyl tells the truth 90% of the time. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement (Actually, it's 3%.)

linbo4
linbo4

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vic
vic

Ha, with the ridicule this guy has gotten(and deserved)this week, I was shocked to see hisface on TV today but I guess he had no choice but to show up. And I wonder ifhis fellow legislators standing there were embarrassed to even have him there. LOL

Kyle E. Koyote
Kyle E. Koyote

John Kyl provided the hot air for James Author Ray's Sedona death-sweat-lodge. #Thisisnotintendedtobeafactualstatement

Docbob498th
Docbob498th

Jon Kyl is a Homo Erectus (Gay with a hard on)...........not meant to be a factual statement.

ExpertShot
ExpertShot

Planned Parenthood doesn't even subsidize abortions! Senator Kyle's excuseplanation was even a lie. Planned Parenthood provides abortion services, for a fee. That is not subsidization, that is selling medical services to the public at a standard fee.

NOTHING that comes out of that man's mouth (or his staff) can be trusted. I mean if they made a mistake, admit the mistake and correct it, don't just say it was not meant to be a "factual statement."

He's trying to lie and get away with it and therefore the public, and Stephen Colbert, are angry with him for corrupting the government of this country.

Docbob498th
Docbob498th

Kyl joins Fox and Black for threesome (Pictures to follow).........................not intended to be a true statement.

Gonzo di Dottore
Gonzo di Dottore

Did [John Kyl] Rape And Murder A Young Girl In 1990?#NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Arizona's Politics
Arizona's Politics

I agree that he should have just admitted it. Unfortunately, he - like too many other politicians and talk show hosts - decided to take the tack of not admitting and reiterating the false position.

I often try to provide context for soundbites which can often be misleading; I looked for context in Kyl's speech that would back up his (office's) claim that he was not intending for people to rely on his (version of the) statistic.

Unfortunately, the context does not set him free. In fact, it makes his (office's) explanation look even more deserving of ridicule. Check it out here: http://bit.ly/hjVG00

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