Jan Brewer Vetoes Humiliating "Birther Bill." Gov Finds Penis Descriptions To Get on Ballot Goes Too Far

Categories: I'm Only a Bill
jannicephoto.jpg
Even Jan Brewer thinks it's nuts to make a candidate provide a description of his penis to run for president in Arizona.
It pains us, but big props must go out to Governor Jan Brewer, who today vetoed one of the most ridiculous, conspiracy-based, purely symbolic pieces of legislative garbage to pass through the Arizona Legislature: the humiliating "Birther Bill."

Check out some of the other nutty legislation the governor vetoed today here in Feathered Bastard.

The bill was Arizona's far-right-wing response to the continuously debunked conspiracy theory that President Barack Obama is not an American citizen. It required that presidential candidates prove to Arizona election officials that they were born in the United States before their name's allowed on the ballot in the Grand Canyon State -- despite it's already being a federal requirement to land the job.

Sounds ridiculous, we know -- but it gets worse.

The original bill called for a long-form birth certificate to prove a candidate is a natural-born citizen, which was a little too much for some GOP lawmakers. So they made some amendments: if you can't find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice.

A circumcision certificate -- a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony --  is not a legal document (see an example of one here), but if you have one, under the amended bill, it would have been enough to prove you're a U.S. citizen and your name can be permitted on the ballot in Arizona.

A description of a candidate's penis to get on the ballot is crazy, even by Jan's standards, which is part of the reason she vetoed the bill.

"I never imagined being presented with a bill that could require candidates for president of the greatest and most powerful nation on earth to submit their 'early baptismal or circumcision certificates' among other records to the Arizona secretary of state," Brewer writes in a letter to House Speaker Kirk Adams, provided to New Times by the governor's office. "This is a bridge too far."

Brewer also opposes designating one person (the secretary of state) to act as "gatekeeper to the ballot for a candidate." She says doing so could lead to "arbitrary or politically motivated decisions."

Again, kudos to Governor Brewer for making a level-headed decision that's not going to score her any points amongst Arizona's far-right-wing-nuts. As for the state's esteemed legislators, they just achieved a seemingly impossible task: making Jan Brewer look like the sane one. 
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62 comments
US citizen
US citizen

"Official" US government statistics show that no more than 2 of 5 white baby boys was circumcised at birth in Arizona in 2009, and less than one if fifteen Hispanics. Only 4 percent of those depending on medicaid got IT. Such a silly law would not prove an Arizonan was a US citizen at all, but would limit the chances a future president was born there. How many guys know where their baptismal certificate is some 35 years later(at least)? Do you see anything sexist, racist, any religious discrimination here? The circumcision provision is most ridiculous because Arizona today has the third lowest rate of that procedure in the nation, so hardly proof of being a US citizen, or by being intact to not be.

Chris In Tempe
Chris In Tempe

I agree with vetoes of the Birther Bill and the Guns On Campus Bill, but I would like to see the Guns On Campus Bill re-worked and become law.

Both bills were incompetently written. You'd of thought the legislators took the "Take your kid to work Day" idea and ran with it for the entire session, just only with the youngest kiddies writing laws in crayon. Especially the Guns On Campus Bill, which would have left law abiding gun owners wide open to Federal charges.

Yes, the Birther Bill was total trash from idea to final version, on top of being written very badly. Obama is an American, a Christian and was born in Hawaii. We have all seen the birth certificate, it's just that some of us plaster their hands over their eyes and chant "LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA I SEE NOTHING LA LA LA LA" when you tell them "Look, here it is".

But I see nothing wrong with removing restrictions on law abiding gun owners. Most especially adult students on a college campus and even more especially anyone with a Concealed Weapon Permit.

My permit required fingerprints and an FBI background check. That is more than what it takes to buy a gun. Why should I, as a verified law abiding person, be required to disarm myself to take a college class? I have made it over five decades without becoming a criminal. Owned dozens of firearms. Fired tens of thousands of rounds. Have twice been confronted by criminals in my life and the mere presence of a gun in my hand made them quit the effort and flee. All that and no crimes or accidents or carelessness, for all these decades.

What in the hell are people afraid of here?

The legislature should re-work the vetoed gun Bill, carefully examining the Federal requirements to see what can be done without creating criminals where none now exist.

It would also be nice if they'd work on the damned budget. So far all they have figured out is how to steal monies that taxpayers voted to spend differently, weaken the state by damaging education and kill people by yanking away health care.

linbb
linbb

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Mary_Adams
Mary_Adams

Rep. Seel, the sponsor of this bill lied his ass off to the House: http://tinyurl.com /3jbxnga Starts at the 9:30 mark.

LIES:

1. Only natural born citizens can get a top secret security clearance. - No. Think Madeleine Albright and Henry Kissinger.

2. The bill applies to ALL candidates (no, the BC part ONLY applies to Presidential candidates).

3. The list of secondary documents is used by the DOD in the absence of a "long form" BC - no, they are used to validate a DELAYED registration of birth

4 .The list of secondary documents is the same as those DOD accepts for a top security clearance - no, he left out all of those that we know Obama has...

5. It is not aimed at Obama. It clearly is. The DOD will accept a passport and even newspaper announcements among other things. Seel didn’t include any of the much more reliable documents that we know Obama has.

The way the AZ legislature works is a sham. No one fact checks the sponsor. They take him at his lying word!

Jan knows how to go too far
Jan knows how to go too far

If Governor Jan keeps this "normal" policy of thought, I might consider forgiving her for all of the other asinine stuff she's tried to pull.

Now that she's in the governor's mansion does she no longer need her constituents ?

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Zona
Zona

I think someone sat her down and made her realize how much it would hurt this state if she passed this insane racist bill. So many "firsts" have come up since Obama took office and if you cant figure out why, then you are being disingenious.

Danielmey
Danielmey

Please, Obama only got elected BECAUSE he's black. The guy had zero experience, would have made a tremendous VP, then a great pres after he actually learned the job, but he decided to "cut in line", so now we are stuck with an inexperienced, crappy president. As for birthers---no, I don't believe them, but jesus, just put out your long form already to shut people up! but he doesn't, because this ludicrousness gets in the news instead of the horrible job he is doing.

Usgovfail
Usgovfail

Why has obama spent millions to hide his "credentials"? Hey, show us the long form live certificate of birth and it will all go away. There is a reason why he hasn't. Even his grandma, on camera said obama was not born in the USA. Governor Brewer also stated last night on the news that she hopes that the senate would reject her veto. I don't blame her for vetoing the bill although I wish that she would not have. She probably didn't want to take more heat from the criminal illegal alien supporting liberal extreme leftist crowd like she did when she nobly signed SB1070 into law. The feds do not follow or enforce their own laws and that is why AZ has been creating bills to protect itself from this tyrannical government. America is under attack from enemies foriegn and domestic. We need patriots who love America to defend America from the sick people who are destroying this nation. You must be a US citizen to be eligble to run for president. Period.

PS go fuck yourselves phoenixlametimes.

Docbob498th
Docbob498th

Come on Usgov, admit it, you just want to see Obamas dick.

Granite
Granite

The allegation that Obama "spent millions" or even hundreds of thousands is entirely a birther creation. It costs about $300 to file papers to get lawsuits thrown out. And that is what Obama did in every case. And he had a right to do so. College transcripts, and such other things that birthers demanded in the lawsuits as Obama's parents' marriage license, and the places where he lived while attending college (and who he lived with) and his kindergarten records (which probably do not even exist anymore) are all private. Candidates and presidents have the right to disclose them, or not. But, if in the next election the Republican candidate discloses her transcript or other records, Obama is likely to do the same thing.

Obama's Kenyan grandmother never said that he was born in Kenya (and neither did his American grandmother). The Kenyan grandmother said repeatedly in the taped interview that Obama was born in Hawaii, "where his father was studying." And she said in another interview that the first that her family in Kenya had heard of Obama's birth was in a letter from Hawaii.

mikefrombisbee
mikefrombisbee

...And the troll crawls out from underneath his rock and says "yada-yada-yada..."

When you have something worthwhile to contribute please let us know. Otherwise, please crawl back under your rock and cease your meaningless and incoherent yammering.

XSoldier
XSoldier

"We need patriots who love America to defend America from the sick people who are destroying this nation."

Does that NOT include you, since your posting name IS Usgovfail?

Marcus A
Marcus A

I don't think that attached circumcision ceremony certificate is from an Orthodox organization. Looks like it is from a "Jews of Jesus" group. I would not expect this from the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York in anycase.

Hohohoazhohoho
Hohohoazhohoho

The Gov must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed...she finally got one right!

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Docbob498th
Docbob498th

Hey all you CONS, Since the legislature is about ready to go home (Tank your deity), Just how many jobs did they create?

ExpertShot
ExpertShot

Is that a Knock Knock joke? If so, the answer is their own.

Andrew Zahn
Andrew Zahn

I'm still shocked that this bill was even under consideration in the first place. That's okay though, if the Republicans would rather waste time making themselves look completely bat-shit rather than doing something about the economy, then more power to them. It's not my party.

j_in_mesa
j_in_mesa

I don't care if the current President was born on Mars. [The Constitutional argument doesn't really matter - both left and right have their valid complaints about how the Constitution has been ripped to shreds.]

What I'd really like to see are his transcripts - John Kerry and Bush the Younger released their transcripts - why hasn't President Obama done so?

If I'm misinformed on this can someone please provide a link to his transcripts?

Granite
Granite

Neither Kerry nor Bush released their transcripts. Kerry's was found with a Freedom of Information Act request to the US Army, and Bush's was leaked by a source at Yale. The point is that neither they, nor any other president or presidential candidate voluntarily released a school, university or graduate school transcript. A few released grade-point averages. Obama did not release either his transcript or his grade-point average, nor did McCain. However, the matter is voluntary. And so, if in the next election, the Republican releases her or his transcripts, Obama is likely to do so too.

j_in_mesa
j_in_mesa

"Kerry's was found with a Freedom of Information Act request to the US Army"

Wasn't Kerry Navy? Just nitpicking.

Granite
Granite

You're right. Sorry. Forgot.

Horus45
Horus45

Bush NEVER released his transcripts!

j_in_mesa
j_in_mesa

Quick search: Bush Kerry Grades

brings up a USAToday article:

"When Bush's grades were first made public in 1999, he was then the Texas governor and Republican front-runner for the 2000 presidential nomination. Vice President Al Gore was his likely Democratic opponent. Bush's mediocre college record was trumpeted by Gore backers as proof that the Republican candidate was a dummy. But in the spring of 2000, The Washington Post published Gore's college grades at Harvard. Like Kerry, he was hardly an honor student, either. "

Coz
Coz

Amazing...!

wtf
wtf

meh! it's just another "white only bill" brought to you by none other than your rusell pierce!

Gerry_C
Gerry_C

Compared to our legislature, GED Jan looks like PhD Jan (at least for the day).

I wonder if they passed that to throw her something to veto so she can appear strong in the face of Pearce, etc.

Luimed23
Luimed23

What wrong with having a GED? Are people with GED's not smart enough for liberals?

Docbob498th
Docbob498th

NO

davelog
davelog

And a diploma is not an indicator of functional intelligence - only the ability to conform.

Docbob498th
Docbob498th

Making money is not the equivalent of intelligence in spite of what you "Learn" from Faux News. The fact is, you would lose that bet.

davelog
davelog

I bet I'm outearning you with mine.

Tea Party
Tea Party

That bitch shouldn't be in power anyways!

Bjorn Vulvan
Bjorn Vulvan

You are an ignorant uneducated fool. I feel sorry for you..."anyways".

S Earl
S Earl

Well bless her heart, Gov. Stopped Clock was right three times today! I won't be holding my breath for her next smart move, though.

Native Guns
Native Guns

Lol. J-King, you made it seem like its hard to say these lines--

"Again, kudos to Govenor Brewer," and "making Jan Brewer look like the sane one."

Knowing how dumb Jan Brewer used to be easily influenced by lunatics of her own party. I myself would hate to admit it and even say it. But yeah....kudos to Brewer on this one.

But hey!! What if the presidential candidates were women???? Shall this loony piece of Legislature ever did pass to become law in this retorgraded state? Then women must therefore given "description" of their gentalia???

Docbob498th
Docbob498th

Yeah, great idea GOPslayer. I cna,t wait to see if Caribou Barbie has a Hottentot's Apron.

MrH
MrH

Thanks Jan. Please veto more of this crap.

helentroy4
helentroy4

Brewer sees the writing on the wall. She sees how Pearce is being caught up in the Fiesta Bowl and MCSO scandals. If it was politically vital to keeping those two losers on her side she would have signed it. Her whole life after getting her GED has basically been politics.

And as me dad used to say, you don't have to be smart to be cruel.

Marcy
Marcy

The idiot state legislators don't seem to even understand the requirements spelled out in the US Constitution. The proposed law stated:

2. A sworn statement or form that identifies the presidential candidate's places of residence in the United States for fourteen years.

There is no Constitutional requirement that a person have lived in the US for 14 years prior to running for President of the United States.

MrH
MrH

Yes there is:

"No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States."

XSoldier
XSoldier

I thought it was seven Years a Resident within the United States.

Marcy
Marcy

Wrong MrH,

You do not need to have been a resident for 14 years or be 35 years old to RUN for the office or to be on the ballot.

You need those qualifications on the day you assume the office.

Now do you understand the problem with the vetoed bill?

Native Guns
Native Guns

Yup. Also lest not forget that Hawaii is the 50th state of the United States, hence--within the confines of U.S. Jurisdictional territory. I like to see the GOPsuckers explain to the American people, especially to the American folks in Hawaii why they RepubliKKKoons think Hawaii is not a part of the United States. And that their birth certificates are not good enough.

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