Attention, Birthers: Shut Up. Barack Obama Releases Long-Form Hawaiian Birth Certificate

Categories: Obamarama
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www.sidawson.org
With the cornerstone of Donald Trump's potential "presidential campaign" now eliminated by the release of Barack Obama's birth certificate, "the Donald" might actually have to rant about something that matters.
Donald Trump must have flipped what is obviously his wig this morning when President Barack Obama shockingly unveiled his long-form Hawaiian birth certificate -- thus putting an end to the conspiracy based controversy over his citizenship (for anyone with half a brain, that is).

Why did the president finally release the document? He says it's because "we're not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers."

Trump, the most obnoxious noisiest sideshow and loudest barker, is taking all the credit.

Once he learned of the president's disclosure, "the Donald," who's currently pretending to run for president, met with reporters in New Hampshire where he patted himself on the back for putting an end to the issue he's fueled for the last two months.

"He should have done it a long time ago. I am really honored to play such a big role in hopefully, hopefully getting rid of this issue," Trump says.

Arizona has been at the forefront of the Birther debate -- ya know, being the only state in the entire country to consider ridiculous, conspiracy-based legislation addressing the matter, and all.

Arizona's legislative lunatics have introduced legislation requiring presidential candidates to prove their U.S. citizenship before their names are allowed on the ballot in the Grand Canyon State.

The bill failed last year, but passed this legislative session with a few modifications -- namely, allowing for documentation describing what a candidate's penis looks like as a means for proving citizenship.

Thankfully, Governor Jan Brewer had the sense to veto bill when it got to her desk, calling the bill a distraction, and noting that she "never imagined being presented with a bill that could require candidates for president of the greatest and most powerful nation on earth to submit their 'early baptismal or circumcision certificates' among other records to the Arizona secretary of state."

There you have it, birthers -- the party's over, now shut up.

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39 comments
Gerry_C
Gerry_C

Donald Trump takes credit for proving what we already knew. Big deal! If he has a whiff of the White house, he should start thinking about issues instead of distractions.

Megan Abubo
Megan Abubo

I live in Hawaii and I used to surf with Obama at sunset beach on the north shore of Oahu. so I know he is a local boy as we say over here. check me out at www.meganabubo.com

guest
guest

I guess money can't buy you a clue.......

Yourproductsucks
Yourproductsucks

No story on the Tucson rioters who shut down and took over a school board meeting? No info on whether or not thoseInvolved in the riot were arrested? Why is it that this HUGE news story is being swept under the rug? What happened to the presidents plea for civility in vocal discourse and the outlandish disrespect displayed by those in yesterday's debacle?Hypocrisy personified by James King and company.

Yourproductsucks
Yourproductsucks

Why didn't Obama do this 2.5 years ago when it first became an issue? Why does he do it now? What important issues does he cincentrate on now that this is put to bed? The Oprah Winfrey show with Michelle, of course!Obama got outplayed by a reality show star...hilarious stuff.

Roro
Roro

I wonder who will be first to claim that it's a forgery?

XSoldier
XSoldier

I knew that President Obama was a legal U.S. citizen. The Donald should just shut the fuck up now.

I still hope that Donald runs though. That would be hilarious.

AZGregory
AZGregory

He was thinking the morons who jumped on his bandwagon because he raised the issue will buy anything. He knows reality entertainment and that the bar is pretty low for support among tea party followers. Plus he is a self-delusional narcissist. If you don't believe that he thinks the public is a bunch of gullible idiots, then why does he continue to appear in public with the most ridiculous comb-over imaginable? (If that is a toupee as some suggest, I stand corrected-- it is the most ridiculous comb-over toupee ever constructed.)

AZGregory
AZGregory

Some high school kids were baited into doing something stupid. And how does that qualify as a HUGE news story?

TheTruthHurts
TheTruthHurts

That was on YESTERDAY'S news. This isn't NBC Nightly News, or CBS Evening News, or even ABC World News. This is the Phoenix New Times. If you don't know how to search for articles online, go back to living under that rock.

Mikey1969
Mikey1969

"Obama got outplayed by a reality show star...hilarious stuff."

Obviously not if he was able to produce the document that Trump said he COULDN'T produce, you stupid moronic imbecile. Remember, Trump's special "investigative team" was supposed to have some kind of earth-shaking findings like TWO WEEKS AGO? Of course not, that would be too easy. Trump gambled on the Birther thing being real and he FUCKING LOST.

You did, too.

Yourproductsucks 39 minutes ago in reply to Mikey1969"I don't have a horse in this race."

You obviously do. Or you're a worthless troll. Otherwise, you wouldn't be on the interwebs all up in arms about the issue.

"Why didn't Obama do this 2.5 years ago when it first became an issue?"

Because it wasn't a reall issue, and he thought the jackasses like Trump would figure this out for themselves.

"Why does he do it now?"

Because people WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT... My 2 year old daughter finally gets what she wants if she cries long and loudly enough also.

"What important issues does he cincentrate on now that this is put to bed? The Oprah Winfrey show with Michelle, of course!"

Yeah, just like vic said, this is taped, usually a week or two in advance.

Yourproductsucks 35 minutes ago in reply to Mikey1969hmmm...http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42...

You can apologize later if it makes you feel better about yourself.

"Apologize" for what? There's nothing new in that. It's not like he says he's heading off to Oprah's show today?

Jesus, did your mother slam your head repeatedly in the car door when you were a kid, or have you been dining on lead paint chips your entire life?

vic
vic

The Oprah show was taped. The President is not with Oprah today.

TheTruthHurts
TheTruthHurts

Man, get outta here with that obnoxious noise. And learn to spell, lol. Every Obama hater has to complain about something...

Native Guns
Native Guns

Tough luck. "The long form birth certificate" is no different from any other certificate half of the GOPsuckers have. The real question is--if they think Obama is not a U.S. Citizen. They gotta come up with why the 50th State is not a U.S. State.

They really oughta shut the fuck up.

Mistalee
Mistalee

Yes. Stay tuned for a sizeable contingent of the Tea Party movement to say the document was forged by a vast conspiracy of (pick one)

JewsThe IlluminatiLibrulsOuter-space aliens

The rest will revert to their fall-back position; "Obama's a MOOSELIM! His middle name is HOOSAIN!"

Unfortunately, Jimmy Buffett was right; There is no idiot vaccine.

Central Scrutinizer
Central Scrutinizer

If he does, we're going to need proof that his rug was made in America.

Yourproductsucks
Yourproductsucks

I've read the other content. You most certainly are the only "writer" who is currently employed by the Phoenix New Times.

Yourproductsucks
Yourproductsucks

Are you suggesting that James King and co. did write an article on "yesterday's" news and I simply can't find it or are you suggesting that the Phoenix New Times did not comment on the story because they are not a news organization?The story certainly seems newsworthy or even blog worthy beyond the day it occurred. If "teabaggers" had conducted themselves in a similar manner it Would be the headline for weeks in every genre; especially this one.

Yourproductsucks
Yourproductsucks

I don't have a horse in this race. I am critical of how the Presidency handled this side show from the beginning. I appreciate the fact that trump was able to roust the Presidency into action so this was put to bed. Your temper tantrum is just as laughable as Trump forcing Obama's hand on the birth certificate issue.

Yourproductsucks
Yourproductsucks

LoL. You criticize a typo and begin a sentence with a conjunction in the same post? Classic!

I don't hate Obama nor do I agree with the argument that he was born outside the Country. Its obvious from your post that you lack objectivity towards any criticism regarding the handling of this issue.

XSoldier
XSoldier

It was. Donald just hates going to get haircuts. And he's bald up front. Hence the toupee..........

Mistalee
Mistalee

If Trump's toupee could speak, the first thing it would do is demand that the giant talking hemorrhoid attached to its ass be surgically removed.

AZGregory
AZGregory

Good point, there's no way teabaggers would ever disrupt a public meeting with obnoxious behavior. Wait, isn't that how the whole TP movement got started, when Fox News and astroturf organizations funded by the Insurance industry prodded the TP lemmings to show up at every congressional constituent forum during the healthcare reform debate and shout down the host congressperson. And when their side lost, the TP crowd urged and/or approved acts of violence and vandalism against congressional offices (including Rep. Giffords' office).

Yourproductsucks
Yourproductsucks

My bad. Thanks for the link.

I don't think I need to "keep quiet", however.

GuestyMcGuesterson
GuestyMcGuesterson

Methinks Mr. King just helped you place your foot in your mouth; I pray that it keeps you quiet.

AZGregory
AZGregory

I think the President played it brilliantly. Give the morons that comprise the base of the Republican party the rope to continue to hang themselves. These low-brow flat-earthers are the gift that keeps on giving. They will eliminate centrist Republican candidates with a real chance of competing by electing someone with Tea Party/birther type credentials and at the same time make it clear to all the independent and middle of the road voters across the country that they are ridiculous and embarrassing. It has been hilarious how quickly Trump became the leading favorite among teabaggers in a matter of a couple of weeks simply by being the only one willing to stand up and make an ass of himself on the birther issue. Trump proved in an instant that the most gullible lemmings in America are the core teabaggers who have grabbed the microphone at the Republican party podium. Unfortunately for our country, these fools appear at the moment to be a majority of the registered voters in the party. Their convention in 2012 should be quite the carnival.

vic
vic

Perhaps but then it doesn't matter what he does after work, does it? Or is the President required to work 24 hours every day, another non issue. Then we havePalin saying that Trump should be thanked. An idiot was proven wrong and abigger idiot says he should be thanked, LOL!

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