Arizona Legislature Passes Birther Bill on to Governor Jan Brewer, Stipulation for Penis Documentation Included

Categories: I'm Only a Bill
kenyabirthcertificate.jpg
cafepress.com
Kenya tell us about your penis, too?

​Pending a signature from Governor Jan Brewer, the Arizona Legislature has made it official -- show us the birth certificate.

Or your circumcision certificate, early baptismal certificate, hospital birth record, postpartum medical record, or an early census record.

That's right, the state House passedthe "Birther Bill" to the governor, just in case a real Kenyan ever tries to sneak his way into the White House.

Governor Brewer has five days to sign, veto, or ignore the bill and let it become law -- which would force any presidential or vice-presidential candidate to provide the Arizona secretary of state with at least two of the aforementioned documents, if he or she can't cough up a birth certificate.

Now, if you can document that you don't have a foreskin or were baptized as a baby, that's apparently incontrovertible proof that you're a U.S. citizen, and that pair of non-legal certificates can be used in lieu of a birth certificate.

However, as my colleague James King notes, pulling out your penis in front of election officials will not prove citizenship -- and could quite possibly earn you a sex-offender label.

On the other hand, the Legislature may have just passed a law that's more lax than the federal statute, which already requires candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate for a presidential bid.

Instead, lawmakers have paved a pathway for anyone with quasi-legal documents describing their penis or religious experiences to get on the ballot in Arizona.

Read the amended text of the bill passed by the legislature here.

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4 comments
XSoldier
XSoldier

When can we check Governor Jan Brewer and the entire Arizona Legislature into the nearest mental hospital? Monday?

Gerry_C
Gerry_C

I hate that Arizona makes the national news about this stuff. People from out of state call me and talk slower than they use to. Apparently they think the AZ label on me means I have lost 30 IQ points.

ZakRulz
ZakRulz

"Now, if you can prove you don't have a foreskin or were baptized as a baby, that's apparently incontrovertible proof that you're a U.S. citizen, and that pair of non-legal documents can be used in lieu of a birth certificate."

In ordert to have both a circumcision certificate and an early baptismal certificate, wouldn't that make the potential candidate both Jewish and Christian?

Docbob498th
Docbob498th

So......Does this mean that the dickheads will continue to run Arizoonie?

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