Arizona Cops Spend the Day Learning How to Combat Voodoo Used by Mexican Drug Cartels

Categories: WTF
In case you're wondering what 350 Arizona police officers were up to today, they were learning how to deal with any voodoo, witchcraft, or demonic possession that Mexican drug cartels might try to cast on law enforcement.

According to the East Valley Tribune, Robert Almonte, the U.S. Marshal for the Western District of Texas, was invited to lead a training class at the Mesa Public Safety Center today to explain how to recognize and interpret the religious underpinnings of Mexican cartels.

Almonte, the former deputy chief of the El Paso Police Department, is apparently an expert on the subject based on what he told the Tribune:

"In the mid 1980s, when Robert Almonte was a narcotics detective for the El Paso Police Department, he executed a search warrant at the home of a street-level heroin dealer and discovered the woman had placed the names of Almonte and his partner on voodoo dolls.

The woman, a Mexican national, was a 'bruja' (witch), and said she put a hex on Almonte and his partner, using her spiritual beliefs in an effort to protect herself from law enforcement. Almonte said the hex didn't work and he arrested her.

'That's when the problem hit home,' Almonte said. 'It's been increasing ever since.'"

So the next time the cops find a drug dealer who's speaking in tongues and can spin their head around 360 degrees like that girl in The Exorcist, they'll apparently know what's up.

"They use prayer, icons or candles as a tool to facilitate criminal activity such as for drugs, human smuggling and weapons," Almonte tells the Tribune. "Officers frequently run into these icons and items of their spiritual underworld and they don't know what they're dealing with. We want to make officers aware of these indicators of criminal activity so they can know what to look for that also can lead to other avenues in an investigation."

The Tribune notes that as recently as last month, Mexican drug cartel violence was found in the Valley when a 38-year-old illegal immigrant was found beheaded in his Chandler apartment after stealing 400 pounds of marijuana from a drug cartel.

Candles and a Ouija board were reportedly found at the scene, which -- along with the beheading -- Almonte says is "just another day at the office."

It appears to just be a one-day training event, but here at New Times we're hoping that they'll continue their training with a trip to the Harry Potter theme park in Florida.

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Maybe the Arizona police forces should consider hiring Genies to counteract evil magic thrown at them by the cartel's witches.


Satanism works better than Hoodo does. Satan is behind all the evil in the world. Satan and Evil never sleeps. only weak minded losers and bottom feeders get high get drunk and use drugs. why have the monkey of addiction on your back all your life? you will be a lot happier and mentally healthier living a clean and sober life. and if your lucky you wont end up homeless toothless hungry on the mean streets of the USA or in jail or prison or dead being clean and sober.


Here's a better idea - tell the police to STOP fighting against legalizing adult marijuana sales! Every time the idea comes up the police fight tooth and nail to make it go away again. And then they tell us that "they don't make the laws, they only enforce them"! That's certainly not true when it comes to marijuana!! With marijuana, they fight to keep the law just the way it is and then they enforce it - which is obviously a clear conflict of interest. We have no way of knowing whether they're fighting to protect society or their jobs!!


Your tax dollars at work. But we're winning the war on drugs. Really.

No Hope With Dope
No Hope With Dope

The 2 drugs dealers of {meth and cocaine} on my street have been in the drug biz for over 8 years now and the cops know about it and them but they never get pinched after 8 years of easy to see drug dealing. why is that? Where is Sgt Chuck Williams of the Cactus Precinct when you need him? he knows about these guys but 8 years later they are still in business.

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