Heart Attack Grill's 575-Pound Spokesman Dies -- Shockingly, Not From Heart Attack

Categories: News
Blair River
The nearly 600-pound spokesman of Arizona's own Heart Attack Grill died Tuesday -- not 'cause of what would have been an ironic heart attack for a man whose weight suggests his heart probably resembled a basketball filled with ricotta cheese -- but probably from pneumonia.

Blair River was the 6-foot-8, 575 pound, 29-year-old spokesman for the hospital-themed Chandler restaurant, which prides itself on selling "Quadruple Bypass" hamburgers, "Flatliner Fries" cooked in lard, unfiltered cigarettes, and alcoholic beverages, among other "treats."

River contracted pneumonia after he was in a hospital for four days with the flu earlier in the week, but his exact cause of death is yet unknown.

ABC News
reports that River's obesity could have placed him at an increased risk for nearly every acute health problem.

In 2010, River was hired to be the Heart Attack Grill spokesperson at a rate of $100 per hour.

His first YouTube video for the eatery offered anyone weighing more than 350 pounds a free meal.

River apparently was the brains behind several of the promotion techniques from the restaurant, and was even planning a musical relating to the restaurant.

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Buff Bronson
Buff Bronson

let this be a lesson to all you fat pig out of shape pale white skinned Americans out there. eat well and work out daily and you might just have a chance at a good long life.and if you dont, make your peace with god before its to late.


It's obvious that his morbid obesity is a likely contributor to death by pneumonia for a 575-pound 29-year-old male. I hope he enjoyed all those fatty burgers.

Buff Bronson
Buff Bronson

those greasy fatty burgers were to die for. no charge for extra grease or heart cloggers.

88 Killer
88 Killer

Of course its "obvious" you idiot.(doh!) Read the article......

Anyhoo, I'm wondering who will be the next spokeshole for the Heart Attack Grill? I sure hope its that 2 Ton Turd Reicher JT R-E-A-D-Y. Maybe then, he'll encourage his Nazi Faggots to eat at the Heart Attack Grill.


Nah,...........they only eat at the chocolate bar.

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