Breakup Sex Gone bad; Chandler Man Pepper Sprayed by Ex-Girlfriend During Alleged Sexual Assault

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Kaleb Downey
No break up is complete without that final roll in the sheets to sort of say "it's been a pleasure doing business with you, but I must now move on," or to remind yourself why you're breaking up in the first place. A Chandler man apparently didn't realize that his ex had to agree to the sex before getting busy, and now he's charged with sexual assault.

According to court documents obtained by New Times, on Monday afternoon, 23-year-old Kaleb Josephcamero Downey had break-up sex with his ex-girlfriend, despite the woman telling him she wasn't interested and trying to pepper spray him in the middle of intercourse.

The girlfriend told police after the alleged assault that she went to Downey's house at 1750 West Boston Street in Chandler about 1 p.m. to pick up some of her things that were still there following the breakup.

Once in Downey's house, he told the woman to follow him into a room where he had put some of her things. Downey was upset that his former flame already had a new boyfriend and became "emotional," according to court records.

Downey told the girl that they were going to have sex and she was going to "have to take it" before overpowering her and throwing her on a bed.

During the struggle, the girl managed to grab a canister of pepper spray out of her purse. She sprayed it on Downey, but was unable to get it in his face before he grabbed it and threw it across the room.

Downey managed to remove the woman's sweat pants and underwear and started having sex with her.

This is where the girl's story gets a bit suspicious -- after a few minutes of what the girl claims was non-consensual sex, Downey pulled out and positioned himself to be able to put his penis in the woman's mouth.

According to court records, Downey grabbed the back of the woman's head and "the force caused her to open her mouth and accept his penis."

We took a brief survey of female New Times employees, and the general consensus is that a little "force" isn't going to get a man's penis into a woman's mouth unless she has a huge gap in her teeth allows it, or is threatened. But that doesn't necessarily mean the sex was consensual.

After "moving his penis back and forth" in her mouth, Downey continued to have vaginal sex with the woman before getting off of her and pulling his shorts up.

As the victim began to put her clothes back on, Downey, the woman later told police, took out his digital camera and took a picture of her somewhat-nude body, which he said he planned to show to her new boyfriend.

The woman tried to leave the room, but Downey blocked the door and forced her to talk to him about how hurt he was that she had a new boyfriend. After about an hour, he finally let her out of the room. She grabbed her stuff and got in her car -- but Downey wasn't done.

The heartbroken alleged rapist stood in the doorway of the victim's car preventing her from closing the door for about 15 minutes, begging her to get back together with him.

Eventually, she managed to close the door and drive away. When she looked in her rearview mirror, she later told police, she saw Downey chasing after her car.

After allegedly sexually assaulting the victim, Downey sent her text messages apologizing and saying he was going to kill himself. He then told her he planned to turn himself in for what he did to her -- right before asking if she planned on turning him in.

After meeting with police, the victim confronted Downey about the alleged sexual assault. He never denied that it happened, and only asked if she could forgive him.

Following his arrest, Downey was interviewed by police and initially told them he never had sex with the woman on the day of the alleged assault. When police told him they might have DNA evidence proving the two had sex, Downey changed his tune, telling police they did have sex, but it was consensual. He told cops the apologies he'd text messaged to the victim were because he pushed her and felt bad -- and though he might be in trouble.

Downey then started crying and told police how upset he was over the breakup. He then said he "didn't plan for it to happen" and that if he told the truth he'd go to prison.

Downey's been charged with four counts of sexual assault, one count of kidnapping, and one count of unlawful recording of a person.
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31 comments
Emla422
Emla422

I have to say I know Kaleb as well. I'd rather stay anonymous but I am completely heartbroken for him that he is going through this. He is one of the sweetest boys I know and I've know him almost my whole life. He was very heartbroken over this girl. I always thought she was weird. She was always so quiet and dark. She never had much to say to anyone. I was always curious why he loved her so much because he always had such a happy and bubbly personality. When she broke up with him she didn't do it herself. She had her dad (who hated Kaleb) break up with him for her over the phone. Kaleb never got his closure and she kept coming by to see him. Kaleb doesn't even have a car. She drove to his house. I think the same thing as Casey and Seth. She had sex with him willingly (I personally think she wasn't ready for it to be over), then realized she had cheated on her new boyfriend and they fought. When I found out how she treated him during the break up and saw how upset he was over it, I really felt for him. I don't understand why she kept coming around. I think she was stringing him along. Honestly I think it made her feel good to see how hung up he was over her. She drove from far away to see him that day and she came alone. Why would she do that if he is so menacing? I know Kaleb did not do what she is claiming, and I know that this will be proven. I just feel so sad for him that is is sitting in jail now with people who are really guilty of terrible things.

just sayin
just sayin

Sorry em, but if a guy is that tore up over something like that, it kinda makes sense that he would snap and do some questionable things. You never really know people, and don't say that you do, the human mind is a scary thing. People get raped by people they've dated on many occasions hense "date rape", sometimes the one just feels that other owes them something, or that by being forcifully intimate they can get them back through guilt. Anyone can become a rapist for gods sake...people change under stress and anger.

and she might have been quiet and weird because she was scared shitless of him and what he might do if she left.

Emla422
Emla422

Oh and also, I am sure you are the type who will try to argue this back and forth with me.  You will try to convince me that even though you are a complete stranger to these two individuals that your theory must be right.  You may respond as much as you'd like, but I can guarantee you I won't be reading it.  After today I'm not coming back to this article.  The best way I can be of help to Kaleb is to pray for him and hope that everything works out.  So best of luck to you as you browse old posts and try to upset as many people as you can.  Happy trolling!

Emla422
Emla422

I wanted to delete my post after reading this, but it doesn't look like I can.  What's interesting to me is this article was written back in March.  I know why I posted a comment to it.  Because I know these people and I felt it was important to say something nice about Kaleb since people are so quick to label him a rapist.  But why did you post here?  Nothing better to do but post on old articles, especially to argue with a person who is obviously feeling sadness because someone they care about is going through something very difficult?  What a troll you are.  And seriously get a life.  Your point about "anyone can be a rapist," is a very good point.  I mean, lets look at Dahmer.  That guy was a complete wack job but certainly someone in his life knew him and probably liked him.  Does that mean everyone who is accused of something must clearly be guilty?  Have you ever heard the phrase, "innocent until proven guilty"?  Are you not aware that just as easily as "anyone can be a rapist" so too can anyone who claims to be a victim might be lying?  I have spent time with both of these people.  You haven't.  Of course because I care about him I want to say something nice in his honor.  He is someone I know quite well and respect.  You say, "she might have been quiet and weird because she was scared shitless of him and what he might do if she left," but you really don't have the room to make those kind of statements to a person who spent time with them.  If it really makes you feel good to peruse old posts and try to make someone who obviously cares about this boy believe that the person they have known forever must clearly be a rapist then you are just sad.  The main reason I did this is to get the word out that he's not the monster she's making him out to be.  To get people thinking, "hmm maybe we shouldn't be so quick to label him a monster."  It was just a break up gone wrong.  What you don't get to read in this article is all the ways she dragged out the break up as well.  There are many little details that you don't know so you really shouldn't go out on the internet and try to brand a total stranger as a rapist.  I mean seriously, shame on you.

Casey420
Casey420

Kaleb is my homie I strongly doubt that he put force on the back of her head and she accepted the cock she cheated on her new boyfriend and kaleb took pics to show her new bf and she didn't want to look like the slug that cheated on her brandnew bf with her ex and didn't want him to no that so told him she got raped bunch of bull shit we'll miss u homie keep ur head up

Seth McVey
Seth McVey

Fully agree, Valentina was a psycho bitch and i lived with them 4awhile. ive known Kaleb 4almost 7years now.. and he snapped after she left him immature as hell ways. so yeah he was emotionally distressed, but she was crazy as shit, WILLINGLY went over 2have sex, then after exaturated the entire thing 2keep kaleb at bay. Fuck V, sketchy bitch. dont believe this "rape" bullshit people... get her head checked out and see all her mental problems

fluxus
fluxus

I clicked on this article because of how the author chose to write the headline. Now, of course, that is one of the key points of journalism- to draw the reader in through an interesting headline. However, I did not find the headline intriguing, in an "ooh, I bet this is a really interesting and well-written article" sort-of way, but instead, I clicked, because I found the headline further supporting the misrepresentation of rape and sexual assault in the mainstream media. The choice of wording with "break up sex gone bad" discredits the fact that this is a story covering a case of sexual assault. As I read the article, it did not get any better. The first paragraph makes a mockery of rape and a generalization of relationship dynamics. I don't think it is fair to say that her story is suspicious- James, have you ever been in that situation yourself? Has a loved one? I'm sure until that happens, you will continue to be ignorant and indifferent to the severity of under representation and misrepresentation of rape and sexual assault within media outlets. For now, you're joining the other victim-blamers with the outlook of "she must have done something to be asking for it"

Another similar, although more devastating article is the NYT article that implied that an 11 year old was to blame for being gang raped by multiple men: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03...

The NYT's public editor finally released a note, stating that the article lacked "balance", but that was only after an upwards of 40,000 people had emailed the NYT.

Back to this article: You're giving the guy benefit of the doubt, mainly based on the oral assault details? You're making a mockery of a serious situation, point blank. You asked a few fellow employees if a 'little' force would do it. What do they know? What do you know? Also, who's to say it was only a 'little' force? Like I said, you're picking it apart, finding anything that you can to somehow discredit what this woman went through, and that is poor journalism.

linkiss
linkiss

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PhoenixSun
PhoenixSun

Boys will be boys, huh? Some of you men can never admit when another one of your "brethren" commits rape. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is one thing, but read the article and tell me with a straight face that everything was consensual.

Seth McVey
Seth McVey

Its not that i'm "doubting my brethren" its the fact of i KNOW both of these people, lived with them day2day... she is just cynical, shady, 2faced and only looks out 4herself. i'm not saying "Oh, she wasn't raped she can go 2hell." i'm saying ya ever think MAYBE she went over there 2get her shit, wound up AGREEING 2sex, then after when he told her the pic was 2show her new "bf" how she treats people, like toys....materials.....and when she knew she was in hot water, she struck up an argument that led 2yelling. then maybe a push, who knows.... but i do know she would've done that 2save her own ass and look like the "VICTIM" which is bullshit. she is a MAJOR head case and her story sounds sketch...as in this is only her side of the boo hoo story....and i say boo hoo because not of the "rape" portion..but of the fact she wants attention, she did wrong and knew it and got in hot water..soo what does she do.....she makes a story bigger and gets him fucked 4life because she messed up and is literally crazy. on meds. needing check ups, and cant be trusted alone..this is hype bullshit, Kaleb is a very intelligent person. he was just 2hooked on her 4sum reason..and her slutty ass got in trouble so she brought him down 2blind the real problem of her not EVER being faithful or honest with any1, not even herself.... so DON'T BELIEVE THIS SOB STORY....what if your husband, brother, friend was accused of FALSE rape..and was looking at 20+yrs...you would think its a dif situation than a typical "oh...that poor girl...hes the devil..." fuck that..you cant rape the willing...and trust me...shes the willing type "ALOT"...so believe some tabloid, or some girl crying wolf... in the end she fucked herself and is gunna be in a world of pain/hell. she put herself in.

Johnny White Man
Johnny White Man

PhoenixSun,Speaking only for myself, and to defend myself. I didn't come here to "doubt" the rape victim. I only came in here to defended J-King's style of scribbling. I say its flavorful, because he isn't as dull and "simple" as other journos from other local media outlets. But in the name of all fairness, you are probably right about the victim. And in reality, I'm really nice and respectful to women in general. In fact, I get along well with women than I do with men. So in the end, I hope the victim receives some justice in all of this.

But I still praise J-King for his work at New Times.

The Politics of Poon
The Politics of Poon

Butt Rockets, hotwaxing the nipples, Computer kiddie-porno, golden showers, Golden Retrievers, and now pepper spray ???Sex sure was simpler back in the olden days. We just smoked pot and fucked.Weird, weren't we ?

Dohpe
Dohpe

Sublue is the only one who comes close 2 making any sence of this vile article.in my oppinion this was rape,Jack needs 2 be bent over and fucked hard 2 understand this.

Sublue
Sublue

This is bullcrap. Don't ever doubt a rape victim's words. Hope this never happens to you or someone you love. I just totally lost all respect for you and your opinions.

Tommy Collins
Tommy Collins

Sueblue, I understand your emotional response, but in reality it's good to always question a victim, regardless of the type of crime. Yes, I will agree in this case that it's very likely 'date rape' was committed, and it seems to have been confirmed by the interview of the suspect. Bottom line is she apparently was forced to have sex and a victim always has the right to so NO or STOP and at that point the other party needs to stop. I think we can all agree. But for you to say to not ever doubt a rape victim's words would mean some people could be going to jail for no reason, much the same as some folks are charged with abuses toward children and it's later determined the child victim was not being truthful. Emotion is one thing, reality can be quite different.

woefatcat
woefatcat

Jack, I read the same article as you and I don't see that your point(s) as valid.Firstly, a scripted television show bears little resemblance to reality in most cases. Secondly, he is a JOURNALIST, no an opinion writer..Thirdly, the Dick comment was uncalled for.Fourth, The New Times does a better job of journalism than the NYT.

Jack Meyhoffer
Jack Meyhoffer

Woe,

I get what you're saying, I guess my point wasn't well stated. I just don't have a hard time thinking that someone who was raped could also be orally raped. I found it a weird point of contention for the author to make. Time will tell what how this case pans out, but generally speaking, the instances of sexual assault false reporting are very low, because unlike other crimes, sex assault victims are putting themselves on trial, as much as the suspect. Every move she made will be scrutinized, etc. unlike a victim of simple assault.I agree the dick comment was uncalled for, and I apologize for a lapse in judgement. What I meant was the tone of the article was dickish, but I overshot, my apologies to the author. Lastly, I am a fan of New Times, but you lost me in saying it's better then NYT.

Ryan the non-Aryan
Ryan the non-Aryan

jackass,

i must agree with James on this one. A girl could still resist a cock in her mouth even if she was in a headlock. I have participated in wrestling matches before. And speaking from personal experiences, you do not open your mouth that wide under such circumstances. So in the meantime, I think the girl eagerly accepted dick in her mouth.

Vulyanova
Vulyanova

id just like to say that im the girl in question and i appreciate the support. its comments like this that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and make the nightmares go away.

PhoenixSun
PhoenixSun

Wrestling matches between 2 men is not forcible sexual assault. Unless this woman is a trained wrestler why are you so quick to judge the way she should have responded in a situation like that? Why is it so hard to believe she was raped? Like that never happens

Johnny White Man
Johnny White Man

Jack, just accept the fact that New Times(and especially Mr. J-King) has their own unique and creative style, in terms of "journalism". New Times isn't your "simple" news outlet. These Journos have their own way of saying things and for the most part, they are valid through the source(court docs, police reports etc). They only had flavor to these reporting. And because of that, it offends "simple" folks and lunatics of the fringed and older folks.

I praise Mr. J-King, the Feathered Bastard and the New Times for their reporting.

Keep up the good work J-King.

PhoenixSun
PhoenixSun

Do you know how many people are sexually assaulted everyday? How dare you act as if an article like this shouldn't offend reasonable people? Show this article to your wife/sister/daughter and see if they think it is humorous and flavorful. Why would you praise someone for an article like this? Do you think sexual assault is funny? Do you participate in it?

James King
James King

Thank you, Johnny. I think your assessment of New Times and its writers is pretty spot on.

Jack Meyhoffer
Jack Meyhoffer

"........This is where the girl's story gets a bit suspicious -- after a few minutes of what the girl claims was non-consensual sex, Downey pulled out and positioned himself to be able to put his penis in the woman's mouth.

According to court records, Downey grabbed the back of the woman's head and "the force caused her to open her mouth and accept his penis."*************************************************************************************************************Dude, are you fucking kidding me? You don't think if someone had your neck in a deathgrip, and a penis in your face, they couldn't do that to you? Watch one episode of OZ, and you can see it's not unthinkable. It's pretty shitty to call her out and imply she is shady, or whatever your point is. I think you just out-douched Rapey McGee there. Well done, dick.

James King
James King

Jack: I hope to never be in a situation where I have my neck in the death grip of another man with a penis in my face. And I've seen every episode of Oz, and never once has that happened. Scaring someone into it is one thing, but it's pretty hard to physically force someone to give a blowjob against their will. That's all I was trying to point out. I'm not doubting her story, but it's still only her side of the story as written by a cop who wants to get a conviction. The guy says it was consensual, and there was no mention of a rape kit being conducted in the arrest report. As far as I can tell, right now it's just her word against his, so I'm willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt until there's more evidence to corroborate the girl's story -- even if you're not.

MyTwoCommonCents
MyTwoCommonCents

No need for a rape kit, James -- identity and the fact that intercourse occurred are not in question. A sexual assault examination (as opposed to a rape kit, which is used to gather standardized categories of physical evidence) might reveal bruising or other injuries, but physical trauma is not always present in cases of rape. In addition, she didn't say she was forced to give a blowjob -- she said he forced his penis in her mouth and moved it back and forth. I think there will be plenty of corroboration if the police searched his apartment and found the pepper spray and the photo. That information is usually contained in a supplemental report, which you need to request before you comment on a lack of physical evidence. I understand that you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but you should do the same for her. Before you call the woman's story suspicious, you should really wait for all the facts. To do otherwise is not fair to the woman who, despite the fact that you didn't name her, is readily identifiable to anyone who knows either of them. Moreover, if your going to add your personal opinion to a crime story, you need to learn a lot more about criminal investigations. Otherwise, you are going to again plant your foot in your mouth, and you did on this story and your subsequent explanation for what you wrote.

PhoenixSun
PhoenixSun

You're the genius who wrote this? Wow. If you aren't doubting her story, why the disrespectful tone of the article? It's her side of the story, combined with evidence and actual sequence of events. If he did not rape her, why was he crying and apologizing? Why did he get maced? As a woman, I find this really disturbing that a professional journalist would make a mockery of the news in this way. People like you are why the majority of rape victims never come forward. If you were really interested in being impartial to all parties involved you could have written this in a professional manner, instead of coming off like a douche frat boy.

Jack Meyhoffer
Jack Meyhoffer

I hear you, and I hope you're never in that situation either, but I think we'd both agree, if you're scared, have already been violated, and someone grabs your neck, you might submit to something no bueno.

Also, I understand he is innocent until proven guilty, but how many people have consensual sex, and then text their partner to apologize and threaten to kill them self? I'm going with the number of not very many. Then when they talk to the cops, they're worried about going to prison? Oh, for pushing her, not rape? Come on man. As for the rape kit, they wouldn't necessarily conduct one, the suspect is known to her, and since they had been intimate before, it doesn't help support either parties claim. They both stated there was contact, that is not in dispute. Lastly, the stats on false sex assault reporting are very very low. I know this isn't the NY Times, but you might consider talking to a sex crimes detective, they have lots of info.

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