Stupid Things Pittsburgh Steelers Fans Will Say This Week

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gunaxin.com
A female Steelers fan: Texas hair, Minnesota thighs, Las Vegas values.
If you have the misfortune of standing within earshot of a Pittsburgh Steelers fan during the next seven days, you will hear him say some really, really dumb stuff.

Part of that can't be helped -- the Steelers are Appalachia's Team and native-born fans speak in a distinct hillbilly dialect that's almost impossible for the average American to understand. But even if you can make sense of the Pittsburghese (listen to this really long lecture by a Carnegie Mellon professor trying to explain it to what is presumably the most sophisticated group of students in western Pennsylvania, making excuses for moonshiners in the process) you're liable to hear a few really zany arguments put forth by these proudly undereducated rubes.

Here are a few to watch for, along with a few points you might make in reply if you're interested in arguing with an angry hillbilly. Keep in mind these people aren't much for rationality -- they're more likely to, say, skimp on spending a few thousand bucks to extinguish an underground coal fire, instead letting it burn until they have to demolish the entire town.

Hey, the Stillers ain't goink get any mur calls from the refs than yinz guys are.

We can argue about this season's calls all day, but the fact is, if the Steelers win this Super Bowl, they'll get a lot of assistance from the referees, just as they did in the last two they've played. Bill Leavy, the referee who handed the game to Pittsburgh in 2005, actually apologized for his poor performance last year. Leavy says he expects to take the regrets to his grave. I bet it follows him further than that. Arizonans probably have horrible memories of the jobbing we took. If the Steelers win, they'll have help from the zebras. Sad but true.

Dr. Cope would be so proud of this team -- it's classic Steelers football!

First of all, legendary Steelers broadcaster Myron Cope didn't even have an honorary doctorate from any accredited university -- he appears to have earned some sort of degree from the University of Pittsburgh, which is more or less a fancy community college -- let alone an actual doctorate so no one should call him that, even in jest.

Second, if he can see the team from where he is in the afterlife (they presumably have Cox cable there), he's got to be ashamed of the way Ben Roethlisberger has conducted himself over the last year.  And that's just the latest. Ben's a scumbag (who's now, suddenly, talking about God after games), and I'm sure Cope would even see it that way.

It's not just that incident or that player, either. There are also rumors about Hines Ward's ill-fated lecherousness involving a porn star who mocked him -- in the post Favre/Woods era, it's nice to see a guy like Aaron Rodgers quietly dating women such as a pretty, talented Tennessee girl and a model/grapefruit heiress. That's how you're supposed to do it.

So far Mike Tomlin has done a remarkable job winning with this team, but it's also become clear the team is slowly but surely developing serious character issues, despite what some people want to believe.

Yinz guys give dem Stillers fans a hard time but it's all a bunch of jumbo. We're jest like any other football fans.

"Jumbo" is what "Stillers" fans call bologna, and it's a staple food in Pittsburgh, served on white bread purchased from the Giant Iggle, maybe with mayonnaise if they're feeling fancy. They love that shit -- and it's why they're not like other football fans.

I once called the Steelers "White Trash America's Team" and they are. There's something about the black and yellow -- perhaps it is the black and yellow itself -- that draws food stamp re-sellin', meth-cooking rednecks into the fold. Every team has a few loud, boorish fans; the "Stillers" have a few normal ones. Go into the shittiest dive bar within five miles of your house anywhere in America and start shit-talking the team -- you'll find a guy in jean shorts to argue with. Try the same thing with the Bears, the Patriots or even the Packers -- the percentages won't compare.

Dem Stillers got more rangs than anyone -- that's why Pittsburgh's the best!

In 1967, the NFL came up with a really great marketing gimmick and started calling its championship game the "Super Bowl." No one outside Pittsburgh considers championships any less impressive if they occurred before that date, but ask a Steelers fan about it and you'll hear that such games are "ancient history" and that "no one cares."

The roots of this disconnect run to the fact that, as best I can tell, the average Steelers fan is born to a mother who is 16.2 years old, meaning it really has been like four generations since the Super Bowl started. Also, however, they're covering a deep-seeded insecurity about their pathetic past. For the first 40 years of their existence, the team was a joke. In terms of championships, they're still behind this weekend's opponent, the Packers, as well as the Bears, Giants, and Browns.

What does that distinction mean? Those other teams are old money. Class acts, all of them. The Steelers are, in contrast, like the owner of a really, really successful dirtbike dealership. He's got a lot of money, but no one in polite society has much interest in socializing with him, and no one wants him moving into their neighborhood and installing a jacuzzi the size of a small golf-course pond.

Just look at a guy like Toby Keith -- the Okie is a lifelong Steelers fan with an album called White Trash With Money -- and you get a pretty good picture of Steeler success. They (and the refs) deserve credit for their championships -- especially the ones in the '70s, which former Steelers players have admitted they did Mark McGwire-style, with the assistance of steroids, a drug the team is largely responsible for having introduced into the league. Should those championships therefore have a big, fat asterisk on them? You be the judge -- just extend the same opinion to the great Barry Bonds.

Yoi! Hines Ward is great! Lookata how he blocks them cornerbacks! What a player!

It's nice to see Hines' reputation is finally starting to match reality -- he's the NFL's dirtiest player, not some hard-nosed old-time receiver with a bright smile and a heart-warming backstory, as he was too often depicted by the media in years past.

Still, he gets off a lot easier than he should. Ward is scum. Actually, scum is too nice a word for him. He's a cheap-shot artist and a cheater. And when he does actually take a lickin', he cries about it like a little girl and asks the league to suspend the guy who tackled him. Ward  fits in nicely with the Steelers and their fans.


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186 comments
MaliAniku
MaliAniku

After reading this, I am completely appalled of the writer. Disgusted! I reside in California and recently visited Pittsburgh during the CHRISTmas week with my family. I have not heard anyone speak Pittsburghnese. Everyone spoke proper english. They were all such nice and hospitable citizens. Even in the area most visitors would think was the worse neighborhood in town...the people there were actually the sweetest and real down to earth STEELERS fans! I am a STEELERS fan and my brother a Bengals fan...went to the game together and let me tell you...STEELERS fans everywhere and not one got out of line with my brother prior and after the game(STEELERS vs. Bengals). My brother was shocked. Martin, you need to understand....you get what you dish out. Perhaps, as stupid as your article sounds constitutes speaking Pittsburghnese is the better way to go as opposed to having words displayed here by you has shown your character to be of a lesser intelligent individual. GOD Bless & will keep you in prayer.

Cjhewlett
Cjhewlett

Lol what a nice article, sounds like the writer has some nasty feelings towards the steelers. It's not our fault you like a team that is horrible, and this article has some of the most ridiculous generalizations in it. Not all steeler fans talk like hillbillys nor do all of us brag about the six rings just throwing that out there.

Ryan
Ryan

Hey, when you're on top (like the Steelers), everyone has it out for you.  It all comes down to one word.... JEALOUS

Ryan
Ryan

You're blaming the steelers for bringing roids to the league.  That's insane.

If I had this pathetic attempt at an article on paper, I'd be wiping my ass with it right now

David
David

Haha, what a bigoted idiot. Funny, I live n Arizona and Steeler fans are the friendliest and greatest group of people I've ever met. This guy needs to travel to Pittsburgh sometime and see for himself as he sounds like a real nerd. Probably had spitballs thrown at him in grade school and is just an angry loser. Move to another state or better yet, just leave the country!

Yellowjersey Yellowjersey
Yellowjersey Yellowjersey

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Chris R
Chris R

What a fuckin douchebag, you fuckin moron..id like to see this dickhead go to pittsburgh and speak his mind..haha fucka wouldn't last a second!! Move on u fuckn pussy, cards lost in the superbowl years ago stop fckn cryin about it...cards fans are sore winners and sore losers!!! Talk shit when they win and talk shit when they lose..oh and btw I ain't even a steelers fan, imma new yorka who loves the jets and still think ur a fuckn moron

Aaron62691
Aaron62691

Just a another person who can't handle a Steelers beat down. Nothing new here. Move along.

Lancerfans
Lancerfans

Yoi and double yoi bitch you are just mad cause ur team sucks and don't hate hines he is the toughest reciver in NFL

Nicnic2323
Nicnic2323

You're an idiot... and if you want to make fun of the accent, at least do it right! Yinz suck! U r just pissed b/c you live in Steelers Nation baby!!! There will never be a better team w/ more fans across the country... deal!

MZ
MZ

Perhaps this article should be renamed "Stupid Things Bitter Cardinals Fans Will Say This Week." Mr. Cizmar is clearly a petty little man who is still disgruntled over his team losing a football game over two years ago, and he's reflecting that anger onto an entire region of the country. This article is just an attempt to garner attention by spreading his hatred and negativity. In that sense, Mr. Cizmar is like the Jared Lee Loughner of journalists...

Jestersdead22
Jestersdead22

This is a pretty hateful article, and truthfully makes you look foolish anyway. The Steelers are one of the most respected franchises in football and if you have truly spent time in Pittsburgh as you say you have you would have found it to be a beautiful city with some of the nicest people you will ever meet. Last who knows where you found that picture of the Steelers fan, she is pretty damn smokin and if that's what passes for Minnesota thighs, I'm in love.

dactyl
dactyl

I am from Pittsburgh. I love my city, and my team. We are a town of hard working, blue collar fans. Football is a way for our families and friends to get together and spend some quality time together. It's not just about a sport for us, it's being proud of our roots and our heritage. The ESPN poll could not have stated it best, when they declared that we have the largest fan base, largest female fan base,and the largest travelling fan base. It is truly a passion for us. There is NO other team who doesn't have cheerleaders... we are their cheerleaders. To all "yinz Stiller fans" out there... we don't need to back up our boys, we all know, and can be proud. Jealousy is a very strong emotion. By the way, I am happy for the Packers, they needed this win. They are a home town team just like us. The Packer fans who I have congratulated have been way more gracious than the "jagg off" who wrote this article! :) Dactyl

Sjw
Sjw

Every fact you gave is wrong you dumb fuck.Give me your address so I can show your wife (who u probably cant support on ur shitty salary ) what a real man feels like inside of her you chode guzzling moron.Steelers nation 1970-2012 or whenever the world ends haha

Mikey1969
Mikey1969

//"Pittsburgh is without a doubt the toilet of the universe. There are more white trash per capita then anywhere else on the planet....."//

You left out Apache Junction...

Wbfox58
Wbfox58

The hell with all that...how about a couple more pics of that Steeler babe???

Zbuc
Zbuc

u mad? yea, u mad?

(before anyone calls me out for the usage of 'u', google, 'u mad?' and remember that the Cardinals have sunk back to where they belong)

Steffuhkneex3
Steffuhkneex3

I love how people look at Ben like he was the first athlete to ever be accused of anything bad. People are just look for excuses to talk badly about the Steelers. I mean, the Steelers may not be perfect citizens off of the field, but on the field, they practice a ton and work together, and that's why they are 6 time Super Bowl Champions. I just wish people would stop being so bitter.

Grovejr
Grovejr

Wow I didn't know my phone had an application on it to smell the ignorance from your article. Go steelers. Great season

saywhat?1
saywhat?1

I hate to say it but I was hoping this article would be funny. Steelers fan and I can laugh at jokes at my teams expense. Seriously tho this article was just plain ridiculous. the only laugh I got was at the person who wrote it?! Seriously u may wanna quite ur day job!

Cheddarthief
Cheddarthief

I'd still bang that chick. She's got a rocking body and great rack. The face is 50/50 but the rest is a veritable nut fest.

Yowza
Yowza

Now how did I end up here? LMAO Yeah I'm a 'Burgher and of course a Stiller fan.

Lived here my whole life and I honestly can't say any of what you've said is true. {Other than the Jumbo comment. I just love it fried on white with Miracle Whip.Helmann's is just too upscale for the likes of this hillbilly.}

God Bless. It's been fun.

BTW How many rings you got?

yadb
yadb

Wow. You are a nasty, mean-spirited, ignorant little man. If you don't like the Steelers, that's fine, you're entitled to your opinion on the team. But who the hell are you to insult, not just Steeler fans, but pretty much anyone who was born and raised in Appalachia? Fuck you and your stuck-up, small-minded, ignorant article. Douchebag.

Rachel M Snowden
Rachel M Snowden

Please don't lump all Steeler fans into a group like this. By insulting us the way you have in this article, you've really only insulted yourself. I was born and raised in Western Pennsylvania, so those "food stamp re-sellin', meth-cooking rednecks" are my family and my friends. Please do not talk about Western Pennsylvania residents as though you actually know any of us. What you described there, along with fans being born to "a 16.2 year old mother" is pretty much a decent description of a group of people you would find in any large city, or really, if you actually cared to look, anywhere in the United States. You can criticize the team all you want, that's fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion of a team, but please, don't insult yourself by pretending you know anything about the people who live in and around Pittsburgh. Yes, there is a regional dialect, but no, not everyone in the area speaks like that. I'm a 22 year old college student majoring in English and minoring in communications. I only use the dialect as a joke. There are multitudes of incredibly intelligent Steelers fans all over Pennsylvania and all over the States. If anything, it should speak to our loyalty to our roots that Steelers fans remain fans no matter how far away from their city they go.

As I said, feel free to think poorly of the team if you choose. I'll grant you that our players haven't exactly been stand-up guys in the last few years, & I am also disappointed in that, but just because I am a Steelers fan doesn't mean I automatically assume that we lost the Super Bowl because the refs made bad calls, or that we should have won just on the merit of being the Steelers. We were outplayed yesterday, and any TRUE Steelers fan from Western Pennsylvania (or at the very least, every one I've ever met, and having lived here all my life, I can safely say I've met thousands) will admit that the Packers won because they outplayed us. We played sloppy football, and the Packers deserved their victory.

From now on, stop embarrassing yourself and berating an entire region because of your own distaste for the Steelers franchise. You only make yourself look bad.

Balsamic44
Balsamic44

The writer of this article should have never been born. Not only does he unnecessarily insult cmu and pitt students, (the majority of which are smarter than this two bit hack writer will ever be), he insults a whole city. Both cmu and pitt a WAY better schools than any school in Arizona and the ranking would further back my point. Crawl back under the bridge, you troll writer

eastsidehunky
eastsidehunky

Never a truer word said...Squeelers are the dirtiest players and have been known to harbor rapists, murderers and thugs who shoot themselves in the a$$ with a gun.

GO BROWNS!

PittDave
PittDave

Is Martin from Cleveland? Having lived there during my medical residency, I just realized why his pathetic rantings sounded eerily familiar.

DJRickard
DJRickard

HaHaHa, I LOVE IT!!! The fact that Arizona "sports writers" get paid to write about their contempt (likely poorly-dressed envy) for another town's sports team makes me love the Steelers and Pittsburgh even more. What's more pathetic, Mr. Cizmar is writing about his contempt for a team that "your team" is not even playing, only watching on TV. I sure hope Mr. Cizmar has a great day, wallowing in your misery, resentment, self-pity, and ENVY!!! Doesn't sound like much of a day to me. Instead, I'm spending the day with my family, including my 3 wonderful teenage nephews, cooking and eating great food, watching "The Chief," "Memories of Myron Cope," and maybe some Steelers NFL films. We'll also Skype some of our friends and family who live around the world and share the experience. Then our whole family will get together and cheer on the Stillers! P.S. The elitist, feeble attempts at putting down the blue collar traditions of Pittsburgh are also lame. I grew up in Pittsburgh, and a steel mill area that Mr. Cizmar likely would have considered below his standards, eating Jumbo and Pierogi. There I learned my work ethic, my love for family and community, and my love for The Stillers. Now that I am a physician, I love my roots even more. Tonight we'll have a toast to Dr. Cope, and he and I will say a prayer (though very short) for Mr. Cizmar. HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!!

Coach_thumper
Coach_thumper

Our dialect is still more tolerable than your writing. You make the First Amendment look like a bad idea you petty, ignorant bitch.

Want to really impress me? Show your face in Pittsburgh and read this article out loud. Then I think you'll finally "get it."

StealerFanHater
StealerFanHater

Absolutely love how the "Stupid Things Steeler Fans Will Say" list just continues on through the comment list. CLASSIC. Well played sir, well played.

Big_daddy_b777
Big_daddy_b777

What a low class piece of work. You have less class than the "white trash" you claim supports the steelers. You see Hard working americans as trash.... so upper class you are

Beth
Beth

U mad bro?

Raxtich
Raxtich

Hate Pittsburgh all you want. How many Super Bowls have the Cardinals won again? Oh, wait, NONE! Ever wonder why Steelers fans don't say crap like this about the Cardinals? Because you simply don't matter that much, you're not even interesting enough to hate.

luvthemstillers
luvthemstillers

wow this guys is a total moron! obviously ha has never even met anyone from pittsburgh. I couldn't even understand half of his pittsburghese, or whatever that was supposed to be. and i live 2 hours from there.

Kell
Kell

If any of you would like some real literature written by a non-Steelers fan about Pittsburgh, please click away from this garbage and over to this site:

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/20...

Not only is ol' Marty's article here filled with a terrible interpretation of "Pittsburghese" (I've lived here 23 years and I've never heard anyone say "rangs" as opposed to "rings" - do your research if you're going to be so harsh, buddy), he should be ashamed of the way he talks about people who have accomplished so much more than he ever will.

Hines Ward, scum bag of the universe, donated $10,000 to my neighbors family when their son was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Boy - what a shitty guy.

Ilduce
Ilduce

This has got to be one of the biggest dufus articles around: exaggerated accent, sensationalist hypes, and so much crap in it that I'll bet your eyes are brown. Cleveland fans (the ones who can read) apparently found this article in their paper and, obsessed with penis-envy against anything Pittsburgh-related, listed this link as a good site for their Lake Mistake readers to chuckle at, given that they have nothing else to cheer for in that cesspool. I can see why they like this guy. Give it a rest, Cizmar: the Steelers are one of the oldest and most respected organizations around: "old money" since 1933, thank you. Every team has its good guys and its black sheep, and you know it. You're fixating, pal.

Hmmm, Cizmar, Cizmar....that's about a Bohunk a name as there is. My guess, Mr Cizmar, is that you're some Northeast expat who moved west for your arthritis and found a home with the other esteemed journalists in this apparent Third World paper, way out there in the Sports Mecca that is the Southwest. Make fun of the accent all you want. Just remember to add the word "jagoff" to your vernacular as well. I'm sure you know that one. If not, maybe we can explain it to yinz guys while we're eatin' our jumbo and drinkin' our Arns before we go dahtahn 'n'at to watch the Stillerz try for # 7.

MaliAniku
MaliAniku

almost forgot to mention, with the behavior displayed by the STEELERS fans towards my brother(Bengals fan) definitely proved to my brother what a bunch of classy people for having not thrown the sh*t talking in his face for representing Bengals. Before and after the game.

Steven
Steven

Yeah, don't listen to all the Pitt-bashers out there......I'm from Dallas and every big town and city has its bad apples yes, but good eggs, too! =)

Rock
Rock

 nice message board trash talk, fuckface. I'm surprised you know what the internet is.

saywhat?!
saywhat?!

hahahaha because no other team in the NFL has any one who has ever done anything of the sort or been to jail or done anything illegal. what a joke.

STEELERSFAN
STEELERSFAN

#1 selling steelers jersey size XXXXL + cant pronounce you all + teeth match jersey + #1 seller of steelers apparell, walmart + rapist QB = WHITE TRASH!!!!

saywhat?!
saywhat?!

yeah I don't think that guy did any research just mouthed off like most do at the Steelers and fans. Truth is bad seeds or not on r team our organization itself is one of the oldest and best in the NFL.

Phoenix New Times
Phoenix New Times

A Steelers fan using "Bohunk" to slur someone? That's pretty rich. The name is Slovak, not Czech. Not that you would know the difference.

Was that link from a Cleveland paper the PD or something else? Can you share?

PittDave
PittDave

Is Martin from Cleveland? Having lived there during my medical residency, his pathetic rantings sounded eerily familiar.

Jmort5023
Jmort5023

Cizmar, this is your profession. This is what you have to tell people you do for a living. I'm guessing (now, this is simply a guess, so don't think I am spot-on) that by about age 56, you'll have killed yourself. Maybe sooner.

Jmort5023
Jmort5023

Now I've said something I feel bad about, so I take it back.

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