Go Daddy Tricks World into Calling Joan Rivers Hot

Categories: Gag
Go Daddy's new "girl," 77-year-old Joan Rivers.
We were betrayed...

For the last two weeks, the PR department for the Scottsdale-based domain provider Go daddy has been sending out press releases with images of body parts of this year's "Go Daddy Girl."

We were shown legs, a great ass, and a really happenin' rack, with the full identity of this year's "girl" saved for the company's Super Bowl ad.

We played along -- we helped Go Daddy hype the ad with a series of blog posts, in which we commented on how hot this year's girl looked based on the faceless photos distributed by the company.

So, as you may imagine, we threw up in our mouths a little bit when the ad ran during yesterday's game and the new "girl" we'd referred to as "hot" was revealed to be 77-year-old comedian Joan Rivers.

"We scored several Go Daddy Super Bowl records," Go Daddy CEO and Founder Bob Parsons says. "Our fourth-quarter commercial spiked our Internet traffic higher than any Super Bowl ad we've ever done ... ever! And even better - calls, conversion and cash were off the charts! In fewer than 15 minutes after Go Daddy's first Super Bowl commercial aired, our domain name registrations shot up more than 466 percent over last year."

According to the company, a little "Internet magic" (not to mention a body double) was used to trick people into thinking they were going to see a "smoking hot" woman when the ad aired. What viewers got instead was a "smoking hot" body with Rivers' surgically mutated face and her "iconic" I smoke too many cigarettes voice attached to it.

As Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has proved time and time again, there is nothing "smoking hot" about a withered old lady with a raspy voice.

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Former County Attorney Andrew Thomas noted today that he intends to file suit against Go Daddy for RICO acts committed in a conspiracy to deprive him of semen. Mr. Thomas further noted that Go Daddy has committed the felony of fraud and that he will soon ask for formal criminal charges to be filed. For two weeks, Mr. Thomas has been maliciously forced into learning how to surf the internet with one hand exclusively, in particular his non-dominant hand. "Using my computer mouse with my left hand is quite a challenge and I believe I have suffered some permanent repetitive motion symptoms in my non-dominant hand as well as my dominant hand. Therefore I have suffered grievous injury at the hands of Go Daddy." During the Superbowl game and a visit to GoDaddy.co, Mr. Thomas realized that he had been donating semen for free to a fraudulent fantasy, namely the 77 yr old Joan Rivers. Mr. Thomas notes this his reproductive cells can bring top dollar because virtually everyone wishes to birth a Harvard caliber child. The semen wasted during this fraudulent fantasy can never be sold and Mr. Thomas has thereby been deprived of his ability to earn a living or support his family. The formal lawsuit filing will identify the damages and suffering that Mr. Thomas has enduring at the hands of Go Daddy.

I wanted to validate that this is real. I have my suspicions that it might be made up. Did anyone else see this release by Thomas concerning his releases?


What is wrong with smoking hot Jan Brewer? You have to admit, she must be a beauty queen. She was not elected governor based on her intelligence.


I think you can rest assured that it was "made up." Funny though.

Tommy Collins
Tommy Collins

Gerry, it must be real. I saw something scribbled on a wall in a men's room recently. I could have sworn there was reference of one sort or another....

This text is a masterpiece, Gerry. But about all those releases, could it be nothing more than "splish splash, give a dog a bone, poor old Andy ain't coming home"?

J Curwen
J Curwen

Nor was she elected on the basis of her sparkling personality.


Tommy, I think you could very well be right. :-)

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