Arizona Prison Escapee's (Ahem) Brilliant Plan to End it All: Suicide by Bear

Categories: News, WTF
bearattack.jpg
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This was the last face Arizona prison escapee Tracy Province planned to see if he carried out his bizarre plan to kill himself.
After escaping from prison and allegedly murdering a couple in New Mexico last summer, Arizona prison escapee Tracy Province concocted a unique plan to kill himself: suicide by bear.

Following his arrest, Province told Mohave County sheriff's Detective Larry Matthews that while on the run he planned to overdose on heroin and "become bear food."

Province told Matthews he ditched the plan because that's the stupidest way to kill yourself ever he decided instead to hitchhike to Indiana to see his family.

The Associated Press was the first to get its hands on Matthews' report, in which Province calls his plan to scrap his stupidly suicidal plan "divine intervention."

As for whether Province's plan to be mauled by bears would have even worked, from the AP:

Al Nash, a spokesman at Yellowstone National Park, said it's certainly possible that Province's plan would have worked, but it struck him as improbable.

"We have a fair number of bears in the ecosystem," Nash said. "They eat about anything. A bear would rather get an easy meal than a difficult meal, but human bear encounters are very infrequent."


In other words, it probably wasn't gonna happen.

Province, John McCluskey, and another inmate escaped from the Kingman Prison -- with the help of McCluskey's fiancee/cousin Casslyn Welch -- on july 30 of last year.

While on the run, authorities say Province, McCluskey, and Welch murdered Linda and Gary Haas -- both 61 and from Tecumseh, Oklahoma.

The victims, who were about to become grandparents, were on their annual summer trip to Colorado when their paths crossed with the escaped inmates.

Authorities believe the couple met the inmates at a rest area along Interstate 40 in eastern New Mexico.

It's believed the couple were shot in their travel trailer before the inmates and Welch drove it to a remote area, unhitched the Hass' truck, and torched the trailer with the bodies of the inside.

Province, McCluskey, and Welch each face the death penalty if convicted of the murders.

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3 comments
Don't Feed The Bears, Dummy
Don't Feed The Bears, Dummy

Mr. King, You will take credit for reporting the two lamest suicide stories I've ever heard.First, this Buot jerk decides to off himself in a traffic accident. OK, fine. A 3,700 lbs Forerunner against a Benz sedan of equal weight, head-on at a dual speed equal to100mph. Lame because, hey dumbass, a Benz will give on impact. Next time try a bridge abutment.And suicide by bear ? Now that's original. !!! Maybe dude was really hoping for a little hoochie-koochie first if the bear started eating from the bottom up. Truly moronic, original, but moronic. Province must be from Phoenix.

James King
James King

Correction: two lamest FAILED suicide stories ever.

CooperG
CooperG

I don't think bears are dumb enough to eat Junkie meat.

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