Rooster Causes Holiday Traffic Tie-Up on Interstate 17; Bird Caught Unhurt by DPS

• <p>Hey, I've got a riddle for YOU, too!</p> <p>Question: Why did the dogs cross the road in AZ?</p> <p>Answer: To get FAR away from AZ, so they wouldn't be gunned down by AZ police officers like the other dogs were! </p> <p><br /> <a href="http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2009/06/fifty-five_dogs_in_navajo_coun.php#commentForm" rel="nofollow">http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2009/06/fifty-five_dogs_in_navajo_coun.php#commentForm</a><br /> </p>

• <p>Well, isn't this special? Arizona saved a chicken from being killed on the highway.</p> <p>Is this chicken rescue an attempt to make Arizona appear sensitive to animal issues and to redeem the AZ officers' souls for slaughtering the 55 tail-wagging pet dogs in cold blood in May? </p> <p>Remember? The "vicious" tail-wagging dogs the Navajo County officers gunned down right after they put the dog's owner in jail for 30 days. The dogs that were shot to death instead of calling the Humane Society for assistance. The dogs the owner found shot to death and dead in his OWN home and yard when he returned 30 days later.</p> <p>And no criminal investigation will take place. Makes one wonder for a second or two.</p> <p>Check out this fascinating article in link below with the headline, <br /> Fifty-Five Dogs in Navajo County "Euthanized by Gunshot;" Official Says Incident "Horrible" but Humane</p> <p><a href="http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2009/06/fifty-five_dogs_in_navajo_coun.php#commentForm" rel="nofollow">http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2009/06/fifty-five_dogs_in_navajo_coun.php#commentForm</a></p> <p> </p>

• <p></p> <p> WHY the Chicken Crossed the Road</p> <p></p> <p>The chicken didn't cross the road just to get to the other side. Saying she did is like a mountaineer saying that he or she climbed Mt. Everest because it was there. Which is like a party animal saying he polished off a 12 pack of Olde English 40's in under an hour because he could. You don't hear of any swimmer chiming out that they are going to swim the Atlantic, from NYC to London, because it is there. When was the last time you heard of a Polar Bear Club taking a trip to Antarctica to jump off an iceberg because they wanted to make a splash?</p> <p>Nope, the chicken crossed the road because she was motivated. The road was just an incidental and could have been a footpath or a freeway for all she cared. After doing her bump and grind routine to attract a partner for an afternoon roll in the hay, she crossed the road like The Road Runner - 5 young cocks in hot pursuit. She wanted only the strongest, fastest and smartest to catch her. They, her 5 momentary beaus, raced pecking and clawing each other, to catch their motivation which was and always will be a piece of tender chicken. Lets face it, the chick wanted to get laid. So she performed a pole dance which aroused 5 roosters. Once her quarry was under her spell, the chick jumped off the stage, leaving the pole dangling, bolted out the door and crossed the road, ignoring rush hour traffic with 4 young roosters and 1 tough old bird hot on her tail. Sorry to say traffic claimed 3 of the 5. They should have looked both ways before crossing the road, but as they say, boys will be boys so 3 bit the dust right then and there. The 2 that managed to forge their way through the 5 o'clock maze were alert and aware as they did so, but, also kept their eye on the ball. Once she had weeded her field down to 2, she slowed to a saunter, then stopped to watch her 2 remaining mad fuckers tear each other to shreds, leaving nothing but bits of feathers and meat chunks for the crows.</p> <p>Dismayed with the outcome of her ploy, the chick was about to retrace her steps and return to the peeler bar to repeat the process when she heard the crow of the rooster of her dreams. Yes sir, there he was in all of his glory, hip to her game and ready to claim his prize. Our good old boy didn't waste his time drinking cheap beer in peeler bars hoping to get lucky. Nah, he hung out in the field across the street so he could score.</p> <p>The chicken crossed the road to get laid. That is it, there ain't no more folks. Sure, 5 roosters got killed in the process but that is life. 3 ran blindly into traffic and the 2 that were smart enough to weave their way to safety ended up beating each other to death over her. But she ended up with the biggest, baddest and smartest in the end anyway. Not how she had planned, instead who she had pictured. She crossed the road for control. The real question isn't the one that has become a cliche. The real question is: who is really in control? The answer is and always has been the one who controls the pussy.</p> <p> <br /> Johnny Transistor<br /> Feb. 17/09</p> <p><br /> p.s. - Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Old McDonald was chasing her with a meat cleaver, aiming to cut her f'en head off to feed his wife. After all, you don't get laid unless the old lady gets paid. </p> <p><br /> Copyright 2009 Johnny Transistor All Rights Reserved. </p>

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