One of County Attorney Andy Thomas' Top Fillies to Race in Preakness?

Categories: Laugh Track
We did a double-take when we saw a name that seemed familiar at the top of a sports page.
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 The story spoke of a filly named Rachel Alexandra, who may be running against the guys next week at the Preakness, the second leg of racing's Triple Crown.

"She is a graceful athlete," Rachel's owner said of the record-breaking filly with the big white stripe running down to her snout. "She moves like a ballerina and has the size of some of the colts."

Rachel Alexandra.... Rachel Alexandra.... Where have we heard that name?

It finally struck us.

Rachel Alexandra (um, Alexander) is a "special assistant" to County Attorney Andy Thomas.

We know that Rachel has time on her hands, since she doesn't seem to carry a caseload in Thomas' allegedly understaffed and overworked office. Instead, she sits on her special assistant haunches and whinnies endlessly on the Net.

We're saying, It isn't clear exactly what she does for her paycheck other than pen screeds that mirror the reactionary thinking of her right-wing boss. She's kind of a poor woman's Ann Coulter, whom she undoubtedly considers the bomb of bombs. 

Here's a typical example of Rachel's thinking, from back in 2002, in which she goes to bat for the infamous jail policies of Sheriff Joe Arpaio. More recently, she penned this one gleefully describing how her politically ambitious boss and his good bud Joe have been running illegal immigrants out of the county.


Now, we certainly can visualize the former Republican "Babe of the Week" (it's true) wearing a big floppy hat and sipping a mint julep at the Kentucky Derby.

But racing down the track at Pimlico? None of the drugs we take are that good. 
 
Wait a minute, they're kicking in. We see Alexander gamely galloping down the track, being ridden hard by Calvin Borel, the gritty Cajun jockey who maneuvered Mine That Bird to victory in the Derby.
 

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