The Phoenix New Times News Blog

Emergency preparedness: how to survive in Arpaio’s jails

Thu May 08, 2008 at 01:47:02 PM

By John Dickerson

The best way to avoid rancid “mystery meat” in Arpaio’s jail is to claim you’re Hindu and need a vegetarian diet. That’s precisely what inmate Shaun Attwood did. He lists this and other gems of jail survival on his blog.

If you're steering clear of the slammer, you can print the tips and mail them to your incarcerated loved ones. If they can't make bond, these tips might keep them from bonding undesirably with other inmates. Besides, you never know when "America's Toughest Sheriff" might arrest innocent folks like yourself (or say the owner of a newspaper) for no good reason.

Other Maricopa County jail tips include wrapping a towel around your face during riots (because everyone gets maced) and being the last to sit in the cafeteria on your first day (so you don’t get pummeled or sit at another race's table).

New Times named Atwood’s blog the “Best Prison Blog” in 2005. Since then, more than 400,000 readers have visited his online journal. New as of today is the video version of Atwood’s jail survival tips, available here on YouTube.

“Best Prison Blog” wasn’t the first time New Times mentioned Atwood – a British stockbroker turned rave god. We detailed the collapse of his Phoenix rave empire, back in 2002.

Attwood now says he ran Phoenix's underground rave scene for a few years, complete with piles of ecstasy and Ketamine. You can learn more about his life now on his personal Web site.

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2 Comments:

CONCERNED CITIZEN says:

This is outstanding long overdue public information. People need to know this. They are very much at risk for being hauled off to Madison Street jail. This article is certainly more valuable is than the "crime prevention" pamphlet that CA Thomas spent over $200,000 taxpayers' dollars on! Keep up the great work John Dickerson and Phoenix New Times.

Anonymous this time says:

My son, a former New Times employee, spent a month in Durango awaiting sentencing stemming from an addiction he had since recovered from. He told us stories about sick and elderly inmates who should have been in the hospital instead of jail, and a buddy who broke his wrist playing basketball during rare recreation time, all denied medical care. He said one of the cooks told some of the inmates that the mystery meat package is stamped "not for human consumption" and is marketed as food processed for zoo animals!

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