Now Michelle Shocked Is on Yahoo! News, Because That's What Internet Outrage Does

Categories: It's 2013

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The Internet is a perfectly efficient outrage generator. People need things to be super-pissed about so that they can express their social positions to their friends; they burn through that outrage in an orgy of vague, well-intentioned social media protest; they look for something else to be super-pissed about, having become, by now, pissed off generally. It's perpetual motion, only the product is cause-based Facebook memes instead of energy. Now Michelle Shocked, who was not even in the alt-weeklies weeks ago, is sitting between American Idol recaps and Taylor Swift TV cameos on Yahoo! Music because she hates gay people or maybe doesn't.

It's been a terrible couple of weeks to be Michelle Shocked, but it's probably been a great two weeks to be her back catalog. That's a problem, maybe.


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Harlem Shake vs. Gallon Smashing Prank: Which Meme Will Destroy America First?

Categories: It's 2013

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Pictured: Being a total douche.
I know you don't care, but I made a Harlem Shake video. Don't worry, I'm not gonna show it to you. Because I am naive when it comes to the internetz, I actually was a little surprised when it didn't become an instant viral hit. I'll be 100 percent honest with you: I made the video solely to make money. I've read somewhere that YouTube personalities like Tay Zonday and Freddie Wong make enough to cover their rent and expenses, so it seemed like a short shot to instant cash, letting me quit my job, and just lounge around all day taking bong rips with other micro-celebrities and sometimes making YouTube hits on the weekends. Sometimes, an Internet trend can feel like a lottery ticket.

But you've got to move quick as hell: The Harlem Shake trend is already over, and in its place emerges a much more disturbing trend: Gallon Smashing.

See also:

-Top 10 "Harlem Shake" Videos From Phoenix (Plus One New Times Made)

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