​Could there be any better Halloween gift than to wander around in Alice Cooper's brain for an evening, watching him teeter on the edge of sanity, just about to fall off?

Proooobably not.

That's why this year, Halloween Horror Nights 2011 at Universal Studios Hollywood will veer from its traditional horror movie theme with a personal addition from Alice Cooper himself: a haunted maze that draws on elements from the shock rocker's theatrical concerts and feature music from his 1975 concept album, Welcome to My Nightmare.

Imagine actual snakes, a sadistic insane asylum, Cooper's childhood bedroom where he turned from Vincent Furnier to Alice Cooper forever, and decapitations, all set to themes from some of his classic songs.

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The Gauntlet at Golfland.

​ BY JENNIFER FRY

Where: The Gauntlet at Golfland in Mesa. 155 W Hampton Ave
Mesa, AZ 85210
Overview: The Gauntlet is a dark, indoor attraction focusing on mazes and diversion tactics. The theme is The Black Plague in Europe in the 1300s. Without the narrator at the beginning, the theme may not have gotten across as such, but it still managed to be one of the better houses in the Valley. Filled with the same creepy characters in masks every house employs, they take a surprise turn and come at you from all angles, not just the typical jumping out as soon as you come around a corner, yelling in your face. There was also good use of live animals and movie-quality props to make you look where they want you to look and add to the creep factor. There is also Spooktacular Mini Golf, which looked entertaining, especially for the younger children. Arrive early if you want to play because it shuts down an hour before closing.

Price: Admission to the Gauntlet Haunted House is $12. The house plus unlimited Spooktacular Golf, race cars and bumper boats is $30. No bumper boats or race cars on Thursdays.

Who Should Go: Couples, groups or families who are looking for a whole evening of entertainment. Perfect for a fun date when you also include the golf, bumper boats and race cars.

When We Went: Late on a Thursday night. No crowds, no lines, but unfortunately, also no mini golf, bumper boats or race cars.

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Fear Farm: It's a lot like a high school football game, with more hay and just as many punk kids milling around.

​Where: Fear Farm, McDowell and the 10 on the Glendale/Phoenix line.

Overview: Fear Farm was named this year's Best of Phoenix, and topped last year's reviews, for good reason. This massive four-part, mostly cornfield, haunt is the best (and, apparently, busiest) in the Valley. Fear Farm is chainsaw heavy -- in fact, after this you'll likely be desensitized to the shrill whir of power tools -- and mostly made up of corn mazes, though, surprisingly, not nearly as dusty as Arizona's Original Scream Park. It's well staffed, with most of the jolts coming from old-school behind-the-wall scares and few animatronics.

Price: $18 online, $19 at the door for all four houses. Since this is definitely 2+ hour of fun Fear Farm is probably the best Halloween bargain in town. If you're going on a Friday or Saturday night buy online in advance (the ticket line itself was brutal) and strongly consider the $10 "fast pass" which allows you to skip some very long lines. We (thankfully) had the fast pass but some kids we talked to said the line for each of the four houses took 20 minutes to a half hour.

Who Should Go? Anyone in Phoenix who likes haunted houses. There simply is no better Halloween-related experience in the Valley.

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Where: Doomtown at Rawhide, the I-10 at Wild Horse Pass.

Overview: Halloween is a great time for the Valley's various tourist traps to cash in, and Rawhide fits that bill. This old timey town of weathered wood facades that's home to a steak house, saloon and regular gunfight dramas is one of Chandler's more charming attractions. At Halloween, Rawhide's operation, while on a small scale, delivers. This house is very, very well crafted and manned by some of the better actors in town. It's short but sweet, which works for us.

Price: $17 for both houses or $13 for one. Definitely do both, our group was split about which was better.

Who Should Go? This is an all-around good house that'll fit pretty much anyone. It's light on the demons and gore making it nice for families but maybe a little too short and tame for hardcore horror fans. This is also a great place to go on a weeknight since so few area haunts are open Wednesday or Thursday.

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Where: Arizona's Original Scream Park at 101 and McDowell in Scottsdale.

Overview: Arizona's Original Scream Park has a well-deserved reputation for being one of the best Halloween attractions in the Valley. All four sections of this classic haunt are long, though inconsistently staffed. We loved two of the houses (3-D Fear Factory and Goldminers Revenge) but the other two were understaffed, leaving us bored enough to try scaring other people in our group at some points.

Price: $25 for all four houses. $20 for two. It sounds crazy, but this is one of the few times you may actually want to save the $5 (which is the fee to park, incidentally -- bring cash) by skipping two sections.

Who Should Go? Any Haunted House fan who lives east of Central Avenue.
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By Martin Cizmar

Final Destination III
Arizona Avenue and Frye Road
Chandler

The good: Impressive acting, great props.
The bad: Not as thought provoking as it could be, nor as controversial.
The ugly: Long and slow line, too much time spent crammed together on dark and steep stairs.

I imagine some people might consider it imprudent to review a hell house the same way I’ve been reviewing regular ol’ haunted houses all month. But when judgment houses – run by evangelical Christian churches, they set out to scare you with earthly evil and it’s eternal consequences – market themselves as haunted houses, as Final Destination III does, I think it’s fair. After all, I know a few people who’ve set out to find a traditional haunted house and ended up at “a haunted house-style attraction” like this, watching a doctor hold down a screaming patient during a mock abortion.

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By Martin Cizmar

In the last month I've seen a lot of chainsaws. Quite possibly more than I've seen in the rest of my life combined. Why almost every haunted house in the Valley ends with a chainsaw-wielding dude chasing you out the back door is a mystery to me, but they do.

It's been a long October for me, but I'm happy to now present a comprehensive guide to area haunted houses, just in time for your yearly pilgrimage. My rankings aren't totally comprehensive, it's true, with a few opening only this weekend, and a few others not getting back to us about tickets, but I'm fairly certain that this is all you need to know. Because, really, if they couldn't get back to us about tickets and weren't googling to see reviews of other houses, it's probably a pretty shoddy operation anyway.

Besides, where else are you going to find this information, some sloppy web site that has listings for houses that have been closed for years? Or some website that appears like an objective source but is actually a direct link to the worst haunted house in town? Or, God forbid, some story in The Arizona Republic that pimps what turned out to be a terrible attraction?

Scary, indeed.

So here goes: Up on the Sun's 2008 Haunted House rankings with grades, comments and links to the full reviews.

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By Martin Cizmar

Ghoulfland
Country Club and The 60
Mesa

The good: Lots of startles throughout maze-like house, other fun activities at Golfland.

The bad: Fairly short, scenery is often a little cheesy.

The ugly: None.

Who knows why Glendale and Mesa – the Valley’s two largest suburbs – have so many haunted houses, while Phoenix itself is pretty much barren. Whatever the reason, only about a mile from Shadowlands at Fiesta Mall, you’ll find Ghoulfland.

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By Martin Cizmar


Shadowlands
Fiesta Mall, Alma School and The 60
Mesa

The good: Outdoor trail is great, some impressive scenery throughout, novelty factor since it is much different than other area houses.

The bad: Not enough scares, overly complex and ultimately meaningless storyline, poor use of available live actors.

The ugly: The actors will not stop yelling at you to move along. To the point that they'll shoot you with a fake M16 if you don't walk fast enough.

There aren't too many haunted houses in the area where you can look out to see the site of an actual murder, but so it is with Shadowlands. The haunt sits in the parking lot of Fiesta Mall where some dude stabbed two people earlier this year, killing one. So Shadowlands has that going for it right away.

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By Martin Cizmar

Doomtown at Rawhide
Rawhide, The 10 at Wild Horse Pass
Chandler

The good: Great scene around the haunts themselves, awesome curtain maze, cool scenery in jungle room, good decoys paired with hidden scares throughout, great first scene in the asylum house.

The bad: Tons of wall thumping, annoying pissing skeleton, not enough actors.

The ugly: Very, very short for $16.

I would never knowingly contradict a Best of Phoenix. Therefore, I am not prepared to say that Rawhide’s Doomtown is not The Best Halloween Scare in our fair metropolis. I will, however, say it’s not my favorite.

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