Phoenix Music Blog

Last night, hundreds of teenage girls, moms with wistful romantic longings and a handful of dudes (most of whom were clearly dragged there by little sisters or girlfriends) gathered in Surprise for the Twifans.com and CullenBoysAnonymous "New Moon Rising Over Arizona" party and midnight premiere of the next film in the Twilight saga.

Psych!! They're just cutouts. But we still wouldn't mind taking them home...

​ ​The courtyard of UltraStar Cinemas was jammed with craft booths and Twilight merchandise -- and a red carpet heralding the arrival of the night's celebrity guest. About an hour into the party, we missed a call from a friend. "I'm sure you didn't answer because you couldn't hear the phone ring over zillions of little girls screaming 'Edward, Edward'," he quipped into the voicemail. Well, he was half right.

We promise this one's the real thing.

​ ​They were actually screaming Kiowa (KAI-uh-wuh), for Kiowa Gordon, the 19-year-old Cave Creek resident who plays wolf pack member Embry Call in New Moon. Gordon arrived early in the day for brunch and meet-and-greets with a few select fans, and "re-arrived" in a white limo to walk the red carpet a little before 8 p.m.  

Halloween is over. The costumes are put away, the plastic spiders and cobwebs removed. We'll have to wait almost another whole year before society again gives us permission to shed the boring, bland, neutral colored uniform of Cubicle Land and become sparkly fairies or scary monsters. Sigh.

​ ​ ​Yeah, right. The best thing about being a bonafide geek is that you don't care what the heck other so-called "normal" (read: dull as a box of rocks) think of you. Especially when it comes to your wardrobe.

These lovely little mermaids were visited by dozens of women taking pictures "to show to their husbands." Hmm....

​All manner of fantastical creatures, from fairies and elves to green men and mermaids turned out for the annual Phoenix Faerie Festival this past Saturday at Estrella Mountain Regional Park in Goodyear. It wasn't nearly as crowded as some of the Valley's other dress-up fantasy events, but those who were there seemed to enjoy the festivities.

​ More pics and a song about ladyparts after the jump...

Two words: New Moon. Ohmigodohmigod it's coming in one week! *Squeal* We know, unless you're a die-hard Twilight fan you probably don't give a rat's ass about the upcoming flick. But even Twihaters might get a kick out of The Cullens, a local Twilight "tribute" band who've been rabidly pimping their national tour via Facebook for the last two months.

Band member Diana (the only Cullen to have actually read the Twilight series) shows off her Twilight tat. Totally sweet, don'tcha think?

The band kicked off their national tour last night at The Trunk Space in Phoenix with a rockin' show featuring Skinwalkers, Shortstack Lightening and Permanent Squint. Surprisingly, the concert wasn't packed with pre-teen girls in "Mrs. Cullen" t-shirts and faux vampire fangs, but maybe that's because word got around that several of the band's members are notorious practical jokers. We caught up with them before their debut to find out how this all got started. Take it with a grain of salt. Or glitter.

You too can have a glittery Jasper Cullen on your chest, courtesy of The Cullens, for only $5 (and a piece of your soul).

Yes, Twerds, Twerps, Twilighters (or whatever moniker Twilight fans are going by these days), Dr. Carlisle Cullen paid a visit to the Arizona State Fair this past Sunday. Or rather, actor Peter Facinelli, who plays the leader of the Cullen clan in the movie series based on the popular YA novels.

Cutie Pie: Carlisle's smallest fan gets an autograph at the State Fair.

​ ​It's easy to see why 90210 actress Jennie Garth fell for him (the pair have three children and have been married since 2001). Without his Twilight character's powdery white makeup, Facinelli easily drops a decade. He's attractive in that clean cut way, with just a touch of stubble to add ruggedness. Facinelli is also extroardinarily gracious, a quality that a lot of celebs lose early in their careers. He's funny. And charming. It's that elusive balance of self-assurance and sweetness that wins him even more fans (largely of the female persuasion).

​Are you swooning yet, ladies?

After an hour of signing autographs and chatting with fans, Facinelli was starting break a sweat -- literally. But he was more concerned about his fans, offering to speed things up so they could get out of the blazing sun and onto the rides. "I don't want anyone to get heat stroke; although I am a doctor, kind of," he quipped. "If you faint, I can maybe help you out. But you're not gonna get mouth-to-mouth."

More from Twilight actor Peter Facinelli after the jump...

"You're going to the Arizona Fetish Ball? Isn't that kinda lame?" We can't count the number of times we've heard that question in regards to Horns and Halos' annual S&M soiree. And to be honest, sometimes it was lame. Inevitably, there was a parade of hotties (and some notties) in teensy thongs and boob-tape Xs. Mild-mannered accountants would don leather masks and ring harnesses and the Ren Fair geek-girls would show up in Victorian-era riding outfits with riding crops. Hmm...what else? Oh yeah, whipping. Chains. People suspended from hooks driven into their flesh.

Naughty librarian fantasies, anyone?

​ ​Now, if you're a Chandler mom driving a minivan covered in "My Child is a Fill-In-The-Blank" bumper stickers and a zillion stupid stick figures of your kids, your hubby and your pet dogs/cats/turtle/gerbil, that all sounds pretty exotic. But to those in the lifestyle (if you don't know what that is, trust us, you're not in it) it's pretty effing vanilla. So how did this year's Fetish Ball measure up?

This was definitely a "hands-on" event.

​A few things have changed since those earlier years at The Sets. This year's ball rocked harder and longer, with a hookah lounge, erotic poetry and burlesque in the upstairs room, live bondage demos and Mexican aggrotech band Hocico's first US gig in a decade -- plus it was as risque as you can get without the PoPo slamming the "public indecency" label on your ass.

Speaking of ass, so much more of it after the jump...   

When the Leeper family pitched the idea of opening a punk/goth clothing & collectibles store smack in the middle of conservative Mesa's Main Street, there were a few raised eyebrows. "They wanted to know if it would be another Nile," quips daughter Amanda Tucker, the seamstress behind a few of the shop's playful dress-up clothes.

Amanda shows off a sweet gun sculpture by Eddie Schenck, made from a 1930's typewriter.

​She's referring to the notorious Nile Theatre nightclub, which was featured in a 2000 Dateline NBC expose on raves. It was also the site of one murder, a couple of stabbings and countless drug, alcohol and firearms violations.

The Leepers assured the city that their plans were far more innocent, and up sprang eVeRmOrE NeVeRmOrE - a cute and funky little shop in a historic brick building that's rumored to be haunted. More on that later...   

I see your Schwartz shirt is as cute as mine...

​

Hey, remember Grand Avenue? You know, that crazy diagonal street where The Paper Heart and The Red Door used to be? Apparently, some First Friday-goers are so dazzled by the flashy spectacle that is Roosevelt Row that they've forgotten poor little Grand, which is currently seeing a Renaissance of cool shops and galleries.

Thanks to Zoe & Babs' garbage-bag bikini, we won't ever forget Grand -- and we'll recycle more.

Grand Avenue's merchants, from the Trunk Space to Paisley Violin to Devious Wigs & Things, were tired of being neglected... so this past Saturday they brought out their big guns for the Grand Avenue Festival of fashion, food, art and general merriment. All manner of freaks and geeks (and yes, even a few normal people and families) turned out for the event, giving Grand a much-needed boost.

Big guns and big hair = Big hottie.

Girls in balloons and a preview of the new Sweets n' Beats candy/vinyl shop after the jump...

If you watched the Emmy Awards this past Sunday, you got a glimpse of comedienne Sarah Silverman in a thick, black moustache. Seriously, what's up with that? Reminded us of a woman we saw on a Mexican soap opera once. And why did host Doogie...er, Neil Patrick Harris keep appearing in a lab coat and Willie Wonka-esque aviator goggles?

​

​We would've been wondering the same thing, if we hadn't caught Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog at Tempe's MADCAP Theaters the day before. Auspicious timing, anyone? The moustaches are part of a gag used in the 45ish-minute, three-act web show. Harris dons the silly goggles and lab coat for his leading role as a dorky, yet brilliant, evil scientist who is madly in love with a girl from his local laundromat.

 

He's no Doogie Howser, but we'll gladly bring her some fro-yo.

​Trust us, you really have to see it for yourself to understand. Which we'll let you, of course; but not before we catch you up on the weekend's festivities.

MWAGHAHAHAHA!!! Behold our Horribly Evil Plot (and more pics) after the jump...

X-Men. Archie. Sailor Moon. If you thought comic books were limited to namby-pamby superhero tales, Manga and All-American "good guy" serials like Richie Rich and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, take a peek at local artist J. Scooter Harris' graphic novel/comic book series, True Crime Theater, and you'll be shell-shocked.

Courtesy of J. Scooter Harris, www.studiohadra.com

​Drawing inspiration from hard-boiled detective fiction and live burlesque models, Harris' True Crime stories generally involve three things any media guru will tell you is marketing gold: sex, violence and murder. Oddly enough, this is a guy who was once offered a job working on Veggie Tales. (We imagine a banana in a corset and heels gunning down a sleazy, drug-dealing asparagus stalk wouldn't really have worked in the kid-friendly, Christian-oriented videos.) 

We dig Harris' gritty storylines and old school black-and-white drawings. We also recognize that his style isn't necessarily appropriate for those delicate geek flowers who think Quentin Tarantino flicks are "grotesquely offensive" and prefer Strawberry Shortcake to Lady Death. Oh, and if you blush at the sight of a Castle Boutique, you're toast.     

For the rest of you, Harris kindly shared a few gritty, real-life stories about censorship, his art, and deflecting a potential fist fight at Comic-Con. Read 'em and weep.

Courtesy of J. Scooter Harris, www.studiohadra.com

New Times: How do you get the inspiration for your art?

J. Scooter Harris: A lot of it came from the old 1930's pulp novel covers and golden age comics (1933-1954). That also led me to pinup legend Bettie Page (via the late great Dave Stevens's The Rocketeer comic book series), burlesque legends like Satan's Angel and everyone involved with the Burlesque Hall of Fame. And of course, the neo-burlesque movement like Mimi LeMeaux and Scandelesque. Then there's the inspiration from the quiet life of a reluctant outlaw that I sometimes would rather not have. 
 
NT: Your work has that gritty, film noir look. Did you read a lot of detective fiction as a kid?

JSH: Yes! It started with Batman and The Shadow in the early 70's. Then films like Orson Welles's Citizen Kane and Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. 

I studied a lot of books by Raymond Chandler, James Cain, Mickey Spillane and James Ellroy, while doing the True Crime Theater project. Now for fun, I just finished Donald Westlake's The Cutie.  About to finally start Dashiell Hammett's The Thin Man. 

Courtesy of J. Scooter Harris

Pyra Sutra of Scandalesque Burlesque was the inspiration for this buxom beauty.

​NT: What would you say to detractors who think your art is too dark, or too explicit?

JSH: It's all about personal taste, really.  What I do artistically cannot be compared to pornography, like some of my critics have done. 

The difference between art and pornography is more than just lighting.  Art has a context and a subtext, whereas pornography has neither.  My True Crime Theater paintings are meant to be clues in context with the much larger graphic novel project, as well as inverted homages to pulp novel covers past. 

A group of so-called "music students" in Scottsdale Community College tried to take down one offensive painting of mine called Left Handed Mansize, which featured a woman in lingerie playing a violin.  For my trouble, I got a scholarship that paid for my next semester.

The lesson is to all those right wingers out there who want to censor everything is to don't do it.  Just ignore it.  The world is a big enough place to do that.  Live and let live.  If those geeks really believe in the free market system, they shouldn't bitch about any sort of art then.  Censoring art only winds up promoting it. 

Why did Scooter get booted from Phoenix Comic Con? Find out his take after the jump...

Continue reading " Killer Serials: J. Scooter Harris,"...

Tags: artist booted from Comic Con, burlesque art, detective fiction, graphic novels, j. scooter harris, true crime theater

Tattoos have come a long way, baby! Once reserved for sailors and burly bikers with Grizzly Adams beards and leather chaps, tats have slowly slithered their way onto college students, cubicle workers and yes, even geeks. While some of our geeky brethren were busy roleplaying or getting first editions signed at the Discworld convention this past weekend, a few were baring their souls -- and their flesh -- at the Hell City 8: Tattoo Vacation festival at the Arizona Biltmore Resort & Spa.

You expect pretty young things in pasties at a tattoo convention.

​ ​What nerdy outcast doesn't dream of being an exotic burlesque beauty? The perfect curly hair. The sexy costumes. The fuck-me-red lipstick on a pouty mouth that won't quit -- wink, wink. Not that every girl geek is saddled with pizza-face acne scars or huge coke-bottle glasses, but even for the aveage geek girl, the idea of becoming one of these sexy vintage-Hollywood starlets seems nigh impossible. Right?

Anna "The Red Tease" in action.

​Turns out some of our local burlesque hotties are actually real-life geeks. They crochet. They do crafts. They love books. Some of them are fans of Star Trek or Firefly. You don't have to be naturally gorgeous to be a burleque dancer, says Provocatease Burlesque troupe member Lolli VonLingus. "You could be somebody who normally woudn't turn a head, but if you're on stage and you have really strong confidence, people will remember you." 

So confidence is pretty much all that's required. Ok, cute makeup and hair, too. Don't believe it? 

These are the "before" and "after" shots of Provocatease co-founder Susana -- aka Carmelle D'Light -- who graciously agreed to help us with a "Geek to Chic" burlesque makeover after the group's weekend show at The Trunk Space. Granted, she geek-ified herself for the "before" pic, but you can definitely see what's possible!

Peep

more pics of burlesque beauties and find out how to get Susana's hot pinup girl look after the jump...

​When it comes to "stoking the fires of passion," men have porn and women have authors like Diana Gabaldon. Yeah, yeah, we know that there are plenty of women who find some manner of porn -- whether it be Internet smut, Debbie Does Dallas or Penthouse letters -- enticing, and at least a handful of men who order romance novels from Amazon under the guise that they're for the wife slash girlfriend they don't actually have. But twice as many men prefer visual erotica (according to a 2000 MSNBC study), while women are more likely than men to enjoy their sexytime aids with a little dialogue. And "Oh, baby give it to me" doesn't exactly count.

So it was no shocker to see a room packed with guests of the female persuasion at last night's "Late Night Sex Scenes with Diana Gabaldon" event at the Poisoned Pen bookstore in Scottsdale. The advertisement specified BYOB and "wear your best lingerie." So, naturally we were expecting a grown-up pajama party of sorts with women in satin nightgowns and lace robes, drinking champagne and eating chocolates while listening to Gabaldon's erotic sex scenes. That part was a BUST. A very respectable-looking (sigh!) crowd turned up in regular clothes, with only two brave souls in anything resembling actual sleepwear. Clearly, all of the Scottsdale blondes in tight bustiers and barely-there slip dresses were over at Devil's Martini or Myst.

​The night was saved from snoozeworthiness by Diana Gabaldon herself, who showed up in a gorgeous purple kimono robe and charmed the audience with bawdy true tales and tittilating portions of her upcoming novel, Echo in the Bone. To give you an idea, when Gabaldon submitted a manuscript to her UK publishers, they asked her to change one sex scene to make it appear that the two characters were having "normal sex" instead of, er, "drilling for oil." When Gabaldon asked why, the woman replied, "Of course we all do that. But we don't like to admit that we do."      

More steamy sex after the jump... 

For those of you who give the whole Twilight phenomenon the "talk to the hand" gesture, there are several types of Twilight fans: namely the Twilighters, which are the regular folks who love the books, and the Twerds -- those crazy geeks who own every piece of Twilight movie merchandise plus every version of the books, and can quote lines from the movie and answer ridiculous trivia questions like, "What was the name of the restaurant Edward took Bella to?" at the drop of a hat. (The Bloated Toad, duh!)

Twilight fan Dylan debates whether to hang with the Vampires or the Werewolves.

Twerds and Twits (short for Twilighters, natch) came out for this past weekend's Creation Entertainment Twi/Tour 2009 event, held at the Wigwam Resort in Litchfield Park. Yeah, you heard that right. The faaaar West Valley. That was strike one against the con, and there were two more big ones: first, most of the originally announced celebrity guests canceled, leaving the stringers (smaller characters such as Laurent, Billy Black and Eric Yorkie) to pick up the slack.

Read about the con and peep some pics, and a Twilight parody video, after the jump...

​You know how little boys make fun of girls for having dolls, and then go and play with "action figures" themselves? A similar thing happened with the now famous KidRobot Munny figure, a cute, bulbous little vinyl doll that comes totally naked. (Remove head from gutter. It's blank so artists can customize it.)

​What started out as a Japanese toy trend and later moved into the American geek subculture has now remarkably found it's way into trendy toy stores, hip-hip shops and even -- gasp! --museums across the nation. This past weekend, we checked out the awesome creations at the Munny Grubbers Show at Just Blazed Hip-Hop Smoke Shop & Gallery in Phoenix and sat down with curator Gabriel Rivas, aka Nervis Wr3k (notice the hat-tip to "leet speak," fellow geeks!), to talk about the dolls. Er, action figures. Er, customizable vinyl toys.

We're so Munny hungry: "Gulp" by Noel Cruz and "Burgertime" by PocketWookie

​The show was seriously sweet. We'd seen painted Munny toys before at Red Hot Robot, but the artists in this show used two-part epoxy, Super Sculpey and lord knows what to create sculptures with amazing detail. The toys generally fell into three categories: the creepy, the modern, and the adorably cute. Rivas told us the latter group was largely sourced from women artists after his wife pointed out the need for some "cutesy ones" to balance out the dark figures.

 

Cute AND creepy... "Grubber of Vision" by Rsin

Peep more cool toys and hear from toy artist Nervis Wr3k after the jump... 

Since the release of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was announced, geeks everywhere have been gearing up for the movie with previews, Comic-Con spoilers and of course toys. Not to say that G.I. Joe is a nerd-only endeavor -- every self-respecting American kid in the decades between 1960-1990 had at least one G.I. Joe figure in their arsenal of boy toys. (Except us girly girls, who were busy with Strawberry Shortcake and She-Ra before we figured out boys had the better dolls.)

But it's us nerds who will most likely flock to the theatre to see the midnight release of the flick, even though we'll be dragging ass and guzzling rum-laced coffee to stay awake at work come Friday morn (um, not that we've ever done that before). Problem is, rumor has it that G.I. Joe tested poorly with preview audiences and that the film will totally suck. See for yourself:

 

We talked to a couple of local comic book store managers to get their personal opinions on the upcoming movie, due to be released in theatres this Friday, August 7. Unfortunately, the only good news is that expectations are REALLY low, so it'll be hard to disappoint.

​"The first bit of info I heard about this flick was the news that Ray Park had been cast as Snake-Eyes," says Todd Schumann, manager of Hero Comics on Thunderbird Rd. & 35th Ave. in North Phoenix. "Fantastic choice...hopes are high. Then came the photos of the cast in costume. Snake-Eyes and the Baroness looked just like they were supposed to. The rest of the cast looked like they were wearing hand-me-downs from the first X-Men movie." 

More G.I. Joe disappointment behind the cut...

Once a year when the sun it at its strongest, dedicated geeks nationwide (and in some cases, worldwide) make the long, arduous pilgrimage to the shores of California. The journey is long, but the benefits are many. Geeks are cured of their lousy-summer-blockbuster-ennui. Dedicated purveyors of nerdy tomes and playthings are rewarded with gold. And, after proper homage to the geek-gods has been rendered through endless hours of "programming" and toy and movie previews, the geeks celebrate with late-night boozefests and costume parties until the break of dawn.

This is San Diego Comic-Con. And it is good.

Since most of the geeks around here (including yours truly!) missed the con this year, we figured you might have too. We blame the lousy economy, the high jobless rate (can't just randomly take off for a few days to see previews for 2012 and meet Johnny Depp now, can we??) and nargles.

Instead we're living vicariously through Daniel m. Davis, the local mastermind behind Steam Crow's quirky monster stories, including the steampunk web-comic Monster Commute. Read on and weep at what you missed...

New Times: Johnny Depp and some other celebs made guest appearances at San Diego Comic-Con this year. Did you catch sight of anyone you were excited (or surprised) to see?

Daniel Davis: I'm there to meet folks, and show off our wares, so we spend 99.23% of the time behind our table. I did catch glimpse of folks waking by -- like Danzig, Seth Green, and a bunch of comic elite like Stan Sakai, William Stout and guys like that.  

NT: What went on with the actor Brandan Fraser? We heard you have a story about meeting him at your SDCC booth...

DD: Well, I know that Brendan's people read this, so I'd rather not say anything bad about the guy. (His people have people, and those people have swords.)  Let's just say that he wasn't at all what I hadexpected... and really tweakie. 

NT: What's the craziest thing you've heard/seen at SDCC?

DD: Teen girls that try to convince me to give them free products by flickering their eyelashes. That's crazy. If they were wearing centaur costumes, I just might do it. Otherwise, they have no power over me.

More on Comic-Con, Steam Crow and Monster Commute after the jump...

Every time Valentine's Day rolls around, there's one dissenter in the bunch. Maybe he's bitter over being dumped for a jock. Maybe she's done with love after a series of cheating asshole boyfriends. Or, maybe they just plain old don't believe in love. Not familial love or that "I love you, man" kind of friendship, but true love. Can't live without you love. Written in the stars love. Romeo and Juliet (minus the tragic double suicide part) love. Ugh. Feel that lunchtime burrito coming up a little yet?

Comedienne/writer/actress Charlyne Yi of Knocked Up and The Doo-Doo Show didn't believe in that mushy "true love" stuff either. So she did what any self-respecting Hollywood type would do: she pitched a documentary about love. The idea blossomed into an entirely new breed of film, Paper Heart, which combines documentary, scripted rom-com and improv. Paper Heart is adorably cute, funny and smart -- much like Ms. Yi. And...wait for it, wait for it... features "Geeky Dreamboat" Michael Cera as Yi's love interest.

Courtesy of Overture Films

Cera and Charlyne Yi find unexpected love like in Paper Heart.

We caught up with Yi and director Nick Jasenovec at the CrackerJax amusement park this week, promoting Paper Heart in advance of the August 7 release date. Yi was as adorable in real life as she is on the big screen, with the same quirky, self-deprecating humor and nervous ear-to-ear grin. Only in real life, this self-proclaimed tomboy was wearing a dress. 

"I heard it was hot here and I told my friend, 'You're so lucky you're a girl. You can wear a dress,'" quips Yi. "She said, 'you're a girl too.' Oh, wait. I am!" 

Don't miss more of Charlyne and Nick's funny business! Full interview after the jump...   

I attended my first science fiction convention (New York's ICON) when I was 17 and a freshman in college. What I remember are movie, tv and book loving geeks dressed up as Klingons and elves, speaking in tongues and buying more dice from the massive dealer's room for their next D&D adventure. It was a haven for fantasy lovers -- whether you were just a huge Asimov fan or a pseudo-goth kid who wanted to get a set of fangs made by a dentist (yes, I have some of those). 

Maybe I was just too young to experience the con nightlife at that time, or maybe East Coast cons are different than their West Coast brethren, but things seem to have changed. I popped in to experience a couple of the late night events this past Friday at FiestaCon and got quite an eye and earful.

Local body painter extraordinaire Mark Greenawalt was in the house from 8 p.m. to midnight, slowly covering two half-naked models with fantasy themed artwork. I didn't see anyone checking IDs at the door, but this event was strictly adults only. While Mark's amazing creations aren't in any way pornographic or lewd, it's a bit titillating to sit there and watch the models strip down without blinking (or batting) an eye. And a bit creepy to watch men taking pictures before the art even begins to appear.  

 

Just when you thought we'd never stoop to dressing up for some geeky-weird costume event, we prove you wrong. This past Saturday evening, dozens of geeks (including yours truly!) in spandex, leather and all manner of scary custom superhero attire converged on Scottsdale Fashion Square Mall for the Improv AZ and AZ Cacophony Society's Epic Superhero Battle 2009. Think flash mob -- only much, much geekier.

The premise: Craft your own superhero costume, complete with non-harmful weaponry such as marshmallow gun or foam sword. Meet at a predetermined place. Have a faux battle. Disperse. The problem? The "heroes" narrowly avoided crisis when our arch-nemesis The Scottsdale Police threatened to shut down our operation. What the eff, David Blaine?

The infamous Dark Elvis is very hairy, er, angry...

More superhero madness and photos after the jump...

A massive crowd turned out for last night's Arizona premiere of the new sequel Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Fans lined up in rows that snaked through the Tempe Marketplace Harkins Theater, spilling out onto the sidewalk and clear around the other side of the building. Not everyone who held a coveted movie pass got in, but those who did were treated to an eye-popping show by the ASU Sun Devils cheerleaders, a robot dance-off and an opening speech by toy and comic guru Todd McFarlane. One lucky audience member even won a $5,000 car makeover -- more on that later.

Photo by Jonathan McNamara

Elusive radio personality "Charlie" of Charlie's Wrasslin' Trivia on KUPD scores big smiles from the Sun Devil girls.

So, how did folks manage to score passes to Tempe's advance screening, held the same night as the Hollywood premiere? Some won magazine contests, got tickets through studio reps or joined TXT Movie Club. Others knew someone involved with the pre-show. And a few participated in the Transformers costume contest at Atomic Comics' Mesa Superstore that we mentioned in last week's Geek Beat.

Transformers EPIC FAIL!!!

Either no one got the memo or there just wasn't enough time for local Transformers fans to put together their giant cardboard costumes, because only a handful of people showed up. We give props to the dude above, though, who humiliated himself (and his lovely wife) by wearing a woman's tank top and yellow construction paper purchased from the neighboring dollar store. He even glued the paper to his face. Glued it, folks!!!

Was the film an equally epic failure? Find out more after the jump...

I've only attended a handful of Anime cons and cosplay contests so far, but I'm starting to get the picture. Anime fans, especially cosplayers, are a little like the mafia. Not to say they go around whacking people or talking like Tony Soprano, of course, but they're dead serious. They're organized. And they're like a family. Everybody knows everybody and you see the same names and faces pop up as organizers and participants at cons around the state. 

My, this cow-girl has some mighty big guns!

So, it was no surprise to find a few familiar faces at this past Saturday's Anime Fest at the Atomic Comics Paradise Valley location. The venue was packed with teens playing Anime-themed games like Anime Password and Project Anime, thumbing through the $4 bargain bins (tip: the Atomic Comics PV Store is moving, so look for huge sales!) and watching Naruto or One-Piece on the flatscreen. The event culminated in a cosplay contest held by the Saboten-Con Street Team. Yeah, they actually have a Street Team. And they're brutal. Is your Dragonball Z missing a patch? No black eyeliner with that "L" getup? No prizes for you!  

More cosplay pics and a special surprise for Transformers fans after the jump. Trust us, you won't want to miss this!   

Woah! Wait just a minute. This can't possibly be Geek Beat, can it? Where are the nerds? The thick glasses and pocket protector-wearing, techie lingo speaking, socially inept dweebs who got shoved into lockers and pantsed in gym class? Well, dear readers, this nerdolicious babe is here to tell you what you're missing in non-geek land. In this case, hot retro honeys who take their clothes off and do strange acts in the vein of the original "geek."

Don't you wish Insectavora would play with your banana?

As any self-respecting geek knows, the word "geek" was originally circus lingo for a performer with an unusual act. Though today's circus has gone to the dogs (well, more like the kids...friggin' creepy clowns), acts like the Pretty Things Peep Show have revived the earlier traditions of stage magic, "freak" acts like fire eating and walking on glass and, of course, Gypsy Rose Lee style burlesque. That's exactly what we saw this past Friday at The Trunk Space, where the current three Pretty Things parked their asses -- and their RV -- for the evening.  

When's the last time Barnum & Bailey had a performer this delicious?

Circus freaks and geeks (with photo slideshow!) after the jump...

Ok, folks, it's time to get personal. While we here at the New Times strive not to navel-gaze too much when it comes to our blogs, there's simply no way to get around it this time. Full disclosure: I am a former Rocky freak. I did a stint in a college theatrical troupe as Columbia and Frank N. Furter, I still own a copy of the original script and I haven't been a Virgin since oh, about 1989.

The lovely Amanda as Transylvanian tranny Frank N. Furter.

So it was no stretch to find me at this weekend's dual Rocky Horror themed events at Chandler Cinemas: The Rocky Horror Prom on Friday night and Saturday's Rocky Horror Picture Show screening featuring the "Come As You Are" shadow cast. And while you might think my sordid Rocky past predisposes me to appreciate this particular geeky pastime, actually it primes me to be a picky little bitch about it. So, did these two events live up to a Rocky fanatic's expectations? 

Find out (and peep more scantily clad babes) after the jump...

The thing about a cult classic, for example The Rocky Horror Picture Show or Clockwork Orange, is that they don't necessarily attract a huge fan base -- but the people they do attract are die-hard show merchandise collecting, DVD buying, can quote every line, will pay a gazillion bucks to meet the star-type fans. Such was (or is) the case with Mystery Science Theater 3000, or MST3K as it's known to the aforementioned fans.

It's been two decades since the show, which featured a guy and a bunch of robots lobbing insults and quipping one-liners at a movie screen showing some of the worst crap in filmmaking history, first aired on Minneapolis' lousiest TV station. Ten seasons (7 on Comedy Central and 3 on the Sci-Fi Channel), a Peabody Award, a couple of Emmy nominations and a feature film later, this cute little show had a strong following. As evidenced by the nearly sold-out crowd at this past weekend's Cinematic Titanic -- a new live show featuring MST3K creator Joel Hodgson and original cast members Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff, Mary Jo Pehl and J. Elvis Weinstein -- at Mesa Arts Center.

More crazy fan-filled pics from Cinematic Titanic after the jump...

We don't have to tell you that the event listings for Phoenix shrivel in the summer heat. As the calendar rolls from May to June to July and the thermometer raises from hot to hotter to "oh, crap, the mercury exploded," locals literally head for the hills. Of course, the upside to being geeks is that nerdy activities are not necessarily outdoorsy, so we can always move indoors with our gaming or cosplaying or reading or whatnot.

And despite the fact that our chosen King of Geeks (Bill Gates, natch) is insanely wealthy, we respect that many dedicated members of our geek culture aren't exactly rolling in it these days. Maybe it's because they're still Level I Tech Support, or maybe it's because they blow their Graphic Design Director wad on Magic cards and Warhammer toys, er, miniatures. Either way, we respect our thrifty geek brethren enough to offer up this list of 5 geeky (and free!) ways to occupy your time in the days ahead.

Photo by janetmck via Flickr

1. Mooch a Book
Some clever book geek realized that most of our species (Geekianus Intelligenticus) reads as often as a high school cheerleader pads her bra, and books can get kind of pricey. We frequent libraries, of course, but let's face it -- who wants to read a Truman Capote novel with the pages stuck together by some unknown ectoplasm-like substance? 

That's why there's BookMooch, a site by which you can donate L. Ron Hubbard stinkers to others who want them, and earn a copy of Tolkien or Terry Brooks in return. Technically it's not FREE, since you do have to pay the shipping charges on books you send. But forking over $2 for media mail and getting a $20 hardcover in return -- we like that math.

See... hot blondes can be geeks too.

I grew up in the Dark Ages of role-playing games. I'm talking the late '80s, when Christian groups were protesting Dungeons & Dragons as a satanic tool and mixed-up drug addict and heavy D&D player Chris Pritchard -- now out on parole -- killed his stepfather in order to get his hands on a $2 million inheritance.

My mom's reaction? First, I got the "devil worship" lecture. Then, she threatened to sic a cult deprogrammer on my ass. Seriously.

My, how the Tides of Doom have turned. Sexy celebrities now freely admit to being gamers (read more after the jump to find out who!). Gorgeous women role-play -- outside the bedroom. And, as evidenced by the inaugural WesternSFA RandomCon gaming convention held this past weekend at the clean, family-friendly Grace Inn, parents participate in Dungeons & Dragons adventures alongside their kids.

There aren't many ways you can connect Sheriff Joe, Shakespeare, erect penises and puppets together. In fact, we'd be hard-pressed (no pun intended) to connect penises with any of the other three, unless Ol' Joe ever releases a porn vid. Shudder. Anyway, now that that horrific image is burned into our brains, let us turn to more pleasant things.

It's Sheriff Joe, with a stick up his...

It was night of Shakespearean tales, dirty jokes and shadow puppet porn last Friday as the Great Arizona Puppet Theater presented their May Day Puppet Slam. We were astounded on so many levels. First, Phoenix actually has its own puppet theatre. Tres geeky! It's housed in a gorgeous historic Mormon temple with soaring arches and colorful, gilded ceilings. Of course, their mainstay is children's shows. But once every few months, the kid gloves come off and the puppeteers show their naughty sides. 

Blood, sex and puppet madness after the jump...

Remember drawing crayon superheroes on long strips of butcher paper, or doodling X-Men in your spiral bound notebook? Even non-geek kids do that. But sending intern applications to Marvel with hand drawn images of Iron Man, Rogue and She-Hulk crawling around the envelope? Oh, yeah, that was all us. So what do comic book loving geeks do when they don't quite have the experience, chops, and/or talent to make it at one of the big publishing houses? Make a zine -- a self-published book of images and.or text that can range from collections of poetry to comics to local stories and photos.

The thing about zines is that they're usually offbeat, of questionable quality and cater to a very limited crowd. Which perfectly describes the feeling at this weekend's Underground Publishers Convention in the parking lot behind Stinkweeds on Central Ave. and Camelback Rd. in Phoenix. The tiny festival consisted of a half dozen or so tables filled with hand drawn and self-published comic books, zines and graphic novels.

Bald geeks and Beer Bitches after the jump... 

Wynter Holden

See more shots of cardboard floating devices in various states of actually working in our Cardboard Boat Regatta slide show.

This weekend, we were torn between two potentially geeky boat-related events -- the traveling Titanic exhibit and the Rotary River Rally's Cardboard Boat Regatta. In the end, the Regatta won out because, barring some Anime convention or X-Men movie premiere, us geeks will naturally flock to the event which requires intelligence, creativity and the total willingness to make a fool out of yourself. 

Like a lot of geek races (robots, anyone?), the regatta started out as a class project. You know, make a bridge that holds 20 lbs., make a working water clock, make a flimsy paper boat and sail around the town lake to see if it sinks. In this case, the professor of a college architectural design class imagined the boat project as a way to get his students thinking three-dimensionally. Easy, right? Uh-huh. Entrants must make their boats entirely out of cardboard and waterproof paint, with caulk and duct tape allowed at the seams.

Leave it to Wired to break the important music stories. My last two posts on Up On The Sun have both been on the bullshit that the Major labels have been wasting their time on, and the reports in Billboard on it. Well Wired is breaking a story about about something that could change how we discover music, and no shock it is not coming from the majors, a major media company or anyone that was in the music world last week.

The new service called We Are Hunted is a simple clean music chart that will be great for music discovery. Old charts that track sales, either physical or digital. But according to WAH, "We Are Hunted is different in that it tracks sentiment, expression and advocacy."

How they track "sentiment, expression and advocacy" is the new part. Instead of looking at one metric or site they scroll a wide rang of music sites to find out what people are actully talking about. "We monitor the mainstream press, blogs, Twitter, MySpace, YouTube, Last.fm, iLike, bit torrent, Limewire, and more." The most not worthy part is the p2p networks, that have long been known to be a important metric for measuring how music is spreading, are included in their algorithm. 

The problem with the web and music discovery is a signal to noise problem. There is just two much music and no good filters. All of the options that WAH scrolls have their own advantages but with all these options there is not one great one for the causal listener, and so the causal listener has been tuning out unable to find new GOOD music. But it is out there.