"But these rolling papers...got lyrics on 'em." --Snoop Dogg

Move over Gene Simmons -- the Snoop Dee-oh-double G is poised to eclipse you in terms of marketing gimmicks.

You know all those times you've been chillin', wishing you could toke up using mock-handwritten lyric sheets of Snoop Dogg songs? Well, thanks to Snoop's Smoke Book, your dreams are finally about to come true.

With its creative title, match striker spine, twine cover, and rolling papers featuring lyrics to Snoop jams like "Drop It Like It's Hot" and "Gin and Juice," Smoke Book is kinda awesome, in that "Hey, that's cool that exists" way. Getting your hands on one might be tough, though. It's being marketed with "elite distribution," says San Francisco ad agency Pereira & O'Dellwhich, which is industry code for "You've got to be a really big Snoop fan to drop a bunch of money on this thing and then torch it with some some weed you scored from that kid who works at Arby's."

"I made this book so people can always remember, you can roll with an expert. You can roll with Snoop. Get it together," Snoop says in a supremely laid-back video promoting the ridiculous new item. (Which doesn't actually seem to be available to purchase anywhere, though a limited edition of the book is being considered for online sale.)

Apparently, Snoop Dogg posters sold at Coachella Music and Arts Festival (hey, he's headlining) will come with sample papers attached. Don't worry, that kid from Arby's is going, and he's totally got a hook up behind the Gobi tent.

All photos from onetinyhand.com

Everybody's doing it.

Musicians in particular have always captivated us with their general sense of cool. Just last week I woke up and was like, "I want to dye my hair blue and start wearing spandex." (Don't worry, I didn't, but I had to pause.)

Butt implants had their day and bulging eye contacts almost ruined all of our eyesights, but thankfully those trends are all behind us. Say hello to One Tiny Hand. Check out these pictures of some of our favorite music celebrities that are sporting the new look.

Anthony Sandoval

He's not saying you're guilty, he's just saying you did it.

Arpaio and lead investigator of the volunteer posse Mike Zullo say that the document provided by the president to stamp out "Birther" doubts, "has failed every test we have put it to."

Inspired by our sheriff's diligence in solving this pressing matter, we at Up on the Sun decided to conduct our own investigation into some of music's more famous forgeries.

Given the severity of the offenses and the impact they have had on the music community, our investigations were 100 percent funded by taxpayers. (Thank you.)

Cover your eyes, DJ!ZZ is coming atcha!

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For some DJs starting out in the business, it's often a difficult choice to make. The handle has to be catchy, memorable, marketable, and look good on a flier.

We've seen plenty of DJ monikers over the years, including many that were good (Osama Spin Laden, Jungle Jim), bad (DJ Booth, DJ Weddings), and downright tasteless or groan-worthy (Bassline Killer, Muppetfucker).

And then there's local selector Gilbert Robertson, who -- in our humble opinion -- probably chose the worst nom de guerre ever: DJ!ZZ.

Needless to say, we're willing to bet the dude doesn't get hired to work at a lot of weddings.

Bears of Manitou

So I was feeling good a couple week's ago when Tucson Weekly and occasional New Times contributor Dan Gibson hipped me to the "Dial-A-Song" -like Callin' Oates hotline, a minor miracle in which you call 1-719-26-OATES and can select and listen to a few of Hall and Oates' greatest hits (all without leaving your cellphone).

Local folkers Bears of Manitou got the message loud and clear, and have launched their own hotline. Simply call 1-866-25-BEARS and you'll be greeted by a robotic message:

"Welcome to the Bears of Manitou hotline. Please listen to the following options because you have probably never heard them before."

There's no more denying it: the holidays are here, and you need to get on that shopping list. Luckily, Up on the Sun has caught gift guide-fever, and over the course of this week we'll be offering you suggestions for the entire family.

It's hard to forget your metal-loving uncle -- even if you kinda want to.

Here are a couple of musical suggestions to slide under his mini-Jack Daniels bottle-bedecked Christmas tree.

Proooobably not.

That's why this year, Halloween Horror Nights 2011 at Universal Studios Hollywood will veer from its traditional horror movie theme with a personal addition from Alice Cooper himself: a haunted maze that draws on elements from the shock rocker's theatrical concerts and feature music from his 1975 concept album, Welcome to My Nightmare.

Imagine actual snakes, a sadistic insane asylum, Cooper's childhood bedroom where he turned from Vincent Furnier to Alice Cooper forever, and decapitations, all set to themes from some of his classic songs.