Dyro on How Working with Hardwell and Tiësto Was "At First a Little Bit Intimidating"

Categories: Funny

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twitter.com/dyromusic
Dyro
Dutch-born DJ and producer Dyro has experienced rapid success in dance music over the past few years. He's produced successful original singles like "Metaphor," "Leprechauns and Unicorns," and "Black Smoke." Not only that, he's also collaborated with names like Tiësto, Bassjackers and Hardwell.

Currently, he holds a residency at Light in Las Vegas and will be hitting some of the major spring and summer festivals over the next few months like Ultra and Mysteryland.



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Why Phoenix's Biggest Miley Cyrus Fan Matt Peterson Should Be Admired

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Photo by Troy Farah
Local Miley Cyrus über-fan Matt Peterson (and his tongue) outside Aside of Heart.

Some people will do just about anything for a shred of acknowledgement from their pop idols. For Arcadia High School student Matt Peterson, that meant filming himself naked on Camelback Mountain with his no-no area obscured by a foam twerk finger as he asked his celebrity crush Miley Cyrus to the prom.

As things like this go, the video quickly went viral, reaching more than 300,000 views in less than a week, stopping just short of a million before Warner Brothers claimed copyright and yanked it from YouTube. (Peterson since has uploaded it again.)

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Anchorman's Ron Burgundy Tries Heavy Metal, Hatebreed on for Size

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Hatebreed
Whenever my brothers and I are together, it's pretty difficult for anyone to understand our conversation unless they have a strong knowledge of Dumb & Dumber, Ace Ventura, or Anchorman quotes. And when I heard there was going to be an Anchorman: The Legend Continues film, I had my hopes set high.

And when heavy metal is combined with either movies or sports, it's always a win. So when I heard that Anchorman's "Ron Burgundy" (a.k.a. Will Ferrell) made an appearance on The Dan Patrick Show, a sports talk radio show with a host that has a solid appreciation for heavy metal, I was pretty stoked.

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Which Heavy Metal Band Would You Pick for the Super Bowl Halftime Show?

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It's happening.
Heavy metal and contact sports always seem to go hand-in-hand. Both share the same kind of aggression and unpredictability. Revolver's Golden Gods Awards has a "most metal athlete" category. And in football, one of America's favorite sports to get all amped up about, teams trot out onto the field to a range of classics: AC/DC, Ozzy Osbourne, Motley Crue, Metallica.

Ahead of the upcoming football season, the collaboration between heavy metal and football has already started off with a bang. I'm talking about Arena Football's partnership with KISS; you may have heard about the team, dubbed the L.A. KISS, and no, it's not a joke. KISS is known for having a hand in just about every aspect of merchandising a band, so we already known that their helmet designs will be amazing (and likely for sale everywhere.) And as an added incentive, the band will play a private concert for season-ticket holders.

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Smiths' Lyrics Plus Charlie Brown Equals One Beautiful, Wishy Washy Tumblr

Categories: Funny

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I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure Charles M. Schulz didn't listen to much of The Smiths. If he had, I wonder if he would have found as many parallels between Charlie Brown's deep-seated melancholy and Morrissey's painful, angst-ridden lyrics as the proprietor of the This Charming Charlie Tumblr has.

Replacing speech balloons with The Smiths lyrics, Peanuts is now painted as a depressing spiral into self-indulgent pretension. Oh, it's as beautiful as it sounds.

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The Best Food Trucks and Food Porn for Metal Fans

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Everything eventually turns into porn. Guitar porn--Rob Zombie guitarist John 5 is all about it--whiskey porn... well, regular porn. But recently, food porn has blown up. Which is great for me.

You see, there are only a few things that I take voracious pleasure in consuming, and two of those indulgences are heavy metal and cooking. Combine them, and I'm set for life.
Last week a friend of mine sent me a video called "Cooking With Phil Anselmo." You've probably never wondered what it would be like cooking in a kitchen with the Pantera/Down/Superjoint Ritual, etc. front man, but this viral video answers all of your questions.

The animated video has Anselmo wearing a "Cooking Hostile" black t-shirt, and concocting dishes with such references as "soy sauce from hell," "five minutes on looooow," and the "art of shredding lettuce." It's full of hilarious Pantera references, and was put together by Joey Siler of Pantera tribute band Good Friends & A Bottle of Whiskey.


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Questlove of The Roots Is So Much Better at Instagram Than You

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Questlove (Questlove Jenkins) @ Instagram
Listen, you not as cool as Questlove, so knock it off.
Of all the stupid things we do with our phones, Instagram might be the worst. Not only has the app falsely convinced us all we're professional photographers, but it's done something even worse: It's encouraged our worst vainglorious tendencies. No one is Amaro-toning his or her real life. There are no 'Grammed photos of rashes or credit card statements; it's all fake, stylized versions of our day-to-day lives. We all should uninstall. Your Instagram profile? It should go. Mine? Definitely.

But Ahmir "Questlove" Thompson, of hip-hop combo The Roots, can keep his.

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Why Music Fans Should Be Watching RuPaul's Drag Race

Categories: Funny, Lists

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Call it the chief paradox of modern pop culture: Most reality television shows blow, but we keep watching, because in a weird way, they're as compelling as they are mindlessly entertaining: The exploits of Honey Boo Boo's family may be exploitative, but, dammit, if they don't love each other. The Kardashians are the very definition of that "first world problem" meme, but we continue to watch, eager to bitch-slap Scott "Lord" Disick and watch Kim dab Kourtney's breast milk on her legs.

Which brings us to RuPaul's Drag Race, which finds itself in an interesting position, propelled higher than "so bad it's good" accolades to the perfect hodgepodge of music, drama, creativity, humor, and glamour.

See also:

-Sharon Needles @ Phoenix Place Hotel and Suites

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Here Are the Songs They Play at a Middle School Dance

Categories: Funny

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[Editor's note: The following post by Houston writer and ESL teacher Shea Serrano was named the best blog post of the year in the first-ever Voice Media Group music writing awards. Originally published by our sister blog, West Coast Sound at L.A. Weekly, it's a hilarious real-time account of an afternoon spent chaperoning a junior high dance. Read more about the VMG music writing awards here.]

By SHEA SERRANO

1:04 pm: In about 25 minutes, I'm going to be chaperoning a middle school dance. The dance is for the school's graduating 8th graders, of which there are several hundred. I've probably chaperoned fifteen of these things already. It's like being a bouncer at a night club, except this party will take place in a cafeteria and nobody told me not to let in Black or Mexican people.

1:08: Oh shit. They're serving free cake at this dance. That's actually kind of great. There'd probably be less hostility at proper night clubs if they gave away cake, right? Once when I was in a club, I got into a bit of a tiff with a gentleman. Shortly thereafter I snuck up behind him on the dance floor and punched him in his ear as hard as I could. I'm almost certain that wouldn't have happened if I'd had a slice of Italian Cream Cake on a Styrofoam plate in my hands. Fuck your nightclub for not serving cake, yo.

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Here Are The Rules for Internet Jukeboxes

Categories: Funny

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Does this look like Michael Bolton? Exactly.
By John Seaborn Gray

Used to be you'd have to hit bar after bar until you found just the right jukebox, which promptly became your own personal lair of alcohol consumption. Folks demanded more freedom of choice, however, so many bars have switched over to Internet jukeboxes, where you can download your song of choice on the spot.

But when used improperly, Internet jukeboxes are proof that democracy DOES NOT WORK. So don't just learn the following rules for yourself: Learn them FOR AMERICA.


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